I Don't Know what to put
ugh, why do i find myself having feelings for someone i have been talking to forever, I know it won't go anywhere but sexual, and there is no real chance of any sort of relationship what is the point, why do i hold these false hopes and pretenses?
Not to mention the fact that UKboy has me all confused and tangled up inside my head telling me one thing that i want to here then, and smacking me across the face with the cold hard truth later grr to boys and my emotions right now, I can't seem to get either to cooperate with me.
And I don't even want to try to see where this whole mike thing is going i mean we sorta talk but not about anything important and we are civil but i don't know how he feels about where we are or where this is going either and i right now i am trying to take my cues from him but i'm not sure what they are or whether he has even thought that far because of course my mind is going 1000x the speed of the rest of the world, what am i thinking for goodness sakes, is that even a considerable path in either case
and then theres the fact that i have these semi could have beens that i am meeting over spring break maybe- i hate that my life right now is made up of a sequence of maybes but yea that i have no clue where it is goign which is just one more thing that i probably don't need in my mind right now
all i can say for positive sure right now is that i need to be sleeping and not doing this, but who knows maybe this will help me get to sleep faster haha, hopefully i won't have any confusing dreams about any of these guys
Not to mention the fact that UKboy has me all confused and tangled up inside my head telling me one thing that i want to here then, and smacking me across the face with the cold hard truth later grr to boys and my emotions right now, I can't seem to get either to cooperate with me.
And I don't even want to try to see where this whole mike thing is going i mean we sorta talk but not about anything important and we are civil but i don't know how he feels about where we are or where this is going either and i right now i am trying to take my cues from him but i'm not sure what they are or whether he has even thought that far because of course my mind is going 1000x the speed of the rest of the world, what am i thinking for goodness sakes, is that even a considerable path in either case
and then theres the fact that i have these semi could have beens that i am meeting over spring break maybe- i hate that my life right now is made up of a sequence of maybes but yea that i have no clue where it is goign which is just one more thing that i probably don't need in my mind right now
all i can say for positive sure right now is that i need to be sleeping and not doing this, but who knows maybe this will help me get to sleep faster haha, hopefully i won't have any confusing dreams about any of these guys