If I was going to name a band after myself, I would call it The Jaime Montiel Problem.

[mmmrorschach]

There's a street in my neighborhood named Arrowwood, but the 'd' is almost scratched off so it looks like Arrowwoo, and every time I see it I laugh because it looks like they finally started letting dogs name streets.

This is my favorite rule in baseball (with the possible exception of the beer rule7.08(i): "Any runner is out when, after he has

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[mmmrorschach]

Most of my dreams I forget as I'm brushing my teeth and get all the way awake. They're not very remarkable. But I know that too many of my dreams feature a lot of misplaced anxiety. Like, if a monster is chasing me in my dreams, I'm more worried that somebody might be watching me being chased, so I'll kind of just fast-walk so people don't think I'm running in mortal fear of my life, that I'm just in a hurry fellas and totally not panicking. So if you ever see me power walking in real life, you can help by not staring so I can take off and start sprinting.

When I was little, I used to turn off the light and then run towards my bed and jump on top of it so the creatures living underneath couldn't grab me, and I didn't feel safe unless I was sleeping with my back against the wall. I knew that as long as I stuck to my ridiculous rituals, I'd be okay. But now I have no wall to sleep against because only the headboard of my bed is against a wall. The room looks too empty if I push the bed into a corner. What I'm trying to say is that I got better and I could probably fall asleep floating in the middle of the ocean, except that I can't swim, but that's a whole other unrelated problem.