What happens in Vegas...is just too damn bad.
I get a phone call.
CO-WORKER: Did you mark that pinhole leak like I asked?
ME: I did.
CW: I can't find the mark you made.
ME: It's there, but it's really hard to see. I only had a ballpoint pen and was trying to write on stainless steel. Just look for a thin, black, vertical smudge. It's almost invisible. When you finally see it you'll think, "That can't possibly be the mark he meant," but that's how you'll know you've found it.
CW: ...
ME: ...
CW: Okay...I think I see something, but there's no way that can possibly be it.
ME: Then it definitely is.
It wasn't.
I wish one of my hobbies was drinking alcohol while playing flight simulators. That way, if I was ever on an airplane and there was trouble in the cockpit and the stewardess yelled out, "Does anyone know how to fly a plane?" I could stumble forward, raise my glass of wine over my head and say, "I fly. I've actually flown this simulation before. I was even drunk at the time."
It's always fun trying to balance your own personal shame about something with how much you enjoy doing it. Shame usually ends up losing. Pop-Tart and Peanut Butter sandwiches usually end up winning.
Also, I think it's really funny when infomercials state that if you're not 100% satisfied with your purchase, you can return it within thirty days for a full refund, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I think I could manage to return those Sauna Pants in a condition that would provoke at least one question.
CO-WORKER: Did you mark that pinhole leak like I asked?
ME: I did.
CW: I can't find the mark you made.
ME: It's there, but it's really hard to see. I only had a ballpoint pen and was trying to write on stainless steel. Just look for a thin, black, vertical smudge. It's almost invisible. When you finally see it you'll think, "That can't possibly be the mark he meant," but that's how you'll know you've found it.
CW: ...
ME: ...
CW: Okay...I think I see something, but there's no way that can possibly be it.
ME: Then it definitely is.
It wasn't.
I wish one of my hobbies was drinking alcohol while playing flight simulators. That way, if I was ever on an airplane and there was trouble in the cockpit and the stewardess yelled out, "Does anyone know how to fly a plane?" I could stumble forward, raise my glass of wine over my head and say, "I fly. I've actually flown this simulation before. I was even drunk at the time."
It's always fun trying to balance your own personal shame about something with how much you enjoy doing it. Shame usually ends up losing. Pop-Tart and Peanut Butter sandwiches usually end up winning.
Also, I think it's really funny when infomercials state that if you're not 100% satisfied with your purchase, you can return it within thirty days for a full refund, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I think I could manage to return those Sauna Pants in a condition that would provoke at least one question.