Rain Dance
Dreams flutter over, and sleep finds me mid afternoon.
There is a force that ties us all together, soft and sweet, keeps us awake with the soft keening of selves seeking purchase in one another's being.
It's not so bad. I marvel at the act of suicide, the decision to not be here.
What a lesson, friends, in forgiveness, in love, in sadness and in seeking out answers.
It will take awhile, I know. But it is so damn beautiful, this cursed earth.
I'm designing gardens, and swimming in my own sense of how to occupy space. I've dirt beneath my fingernails, and a lot of unanswered phone calls to return.
I've got apologies to make, myself. We all do.
Outside the rain falls, and it is gentle on the earth. My fingers in the soil are delighted to find it warm, so that it feels like digging into the entrails of a large beast, a still-beating thing. I love that.
I'm going to make things grow, and find ways to make myself smile until I forget why I was frowning. I'm going to find new ways to love everyone in my life, new ways of remembering everything before it is too late.
We have to keep living for our fallen brothers and sisters. It is our gift to the earth.
There is a force that ties us all together, soft and sweet, keeps us awake with the soft keening of selves seeking purchase in one another's being.
It's not so bad. I marvel at the act of suicide, the decision to not be here.
What a lesson, friends, in forgiveness, in love, in sadness and in seeking out answers.
It will take awhile, I know. But it is so damn beautiful, this cursed earth.
I'm designing gardens, and swimming in my own sense of how to occupy space. I've dirt beneath my fingernails, and a lot of unanswered phone calls to return.
I've got apologies to make, myself. We all do.
Outside the rain falls, and it is gentle on the earth. My fingers in the soil are delighted to find it warm, so that it feels like digging into the entrails of a large beast, a still-beating thing. I love that.
I'm going to make things grow, and find ways to make myself smile until I forget why I was frowning. I'm going to find new ways to love everyone in my life, new ways of remembering everything before it is too late.
We have to keep living for our fallen brothers and sisters. It is our gift to the earth.