So confused
Ok, I am so confused. I don't get what's going on with my life. Like, I dunno, me and Diana are still broken up, fine, I accept that, but she says she wants to be friends... Then when I wanna hang out, she like blows me off to hang out w/ other ppl or whatever. Now, fine, she's got other friends too, but she makes like a HUGE deal about making sure she sees them, even when we were dating, she always said, "I gotta make sure I see Dana this weekend" or stuff like that. Well, now that I'm a "friend" of hers, somehow the same standard doesn't apply to me... When I wanna hang out, she acts like I'm making her, and she doesn't want to, and it's weird of me to think we'd hang out... Now, if she doesn't wanna stay good friends, fine, that's ok with me, I mean, I don't want that, but I keep telling her I'd rather she TELL ME if that's the case, not keep claiming I'm so important and still matter and then not acting like it. Plus like, I'll call her, and rather than answer and say she's busy, she'll ignore my calls, and messages, for hours and hours on end. Like, I don't mean busy like she's out even, I mean, like she'll be watchin TV or reading or something, and yet ignore calls and messages for the entire day/night. Like, not even an answer or reply msg saying, "Hey I'm busy, I'll talk to you later" Just straight up ignores me. I just feel like if someone really is still important, and you really do wanna keep in touch and keep close with them, that's not the way to do it?
Plus, like, every time I wanna hang out she is like, "Nah, I'd rather just stay in tonight" or some such, and so I stay in w/ her, and she likes that. But then when I confront her about never makin time for me, she like throws it in my face that "all we ever do is stay in" when that was the decision SHE made. I mean, she also like uses it against me that I get upset by getting ignored or her acting like spending time with me is a chore. I'd walk away from this, just not bug her, no callin, don't try to hang out, whatever, if she says that what she wants. But she always INSISTS she wants to be my friend. So what the hell, why does she treat me like I'm an annoying chore? I mean, this breakup shit is fuckin terrible, but this is like a constant torture afterward, I wa nna keep her as a friend, but she makes it impossible. If I try to be a friend, she says it's too much, if I don't try and just assume we'll talk/hangout eventually, she gets mad that I'm makin no effort and says stuff is just dyin out, and if I say I'm just givin up on tryin and not gonna bother bein her friend, she gets mad and says it's cuz I don't care, but she really wants to be friends... WTF, what is the right call here then? I can't try, that's bad. I can't just let shit flow, that's bad. And I can't get out, that's bad. How the hell can I win? I feel like she's just trying to make this as hard as possible
Plus, like, every time I wanna hang out she is like, "Nah, I'd rather just stay in tonight" or some such, and so I stay in w/ her, and she likes that. But then when I confront her about never makin time for me, she like throws it in my face that "all we ever do is stay in" when that was the decision SHE made. I mean, she also like uses it against me that I get upset by getting ignored or her acting like spending time with me is a chore. I'd walk away from this, just not bug her, no callin, don't try to hang out, whatever, if she says that what she wants. But she always INSISTS she wants to be my friend. So what the hell, why does she treat me like I'm an annoying chore? I mean, this breakup shit is fuckin terrible, but this is like a constant torture afterward, I wa nna keep her as a friend, but she makes it impossible. If I try to be a friend, she says it's too much, if I don't try and just assume we'll talk/hangout eventually, she gets mad that I'm makin no effort and says stuff is just dyin out, and if I say I'm just givin up on tryin and not gonna bother bein her friend, she gets mad and says it's cuz I don't care, but she really wants to be friends... WTF, what is the right call here then? I can't try, that's bad. I can't just let shit flow, that's bad. And I can't get out, that's bad. How the hell can I win? I feel like she's just trying to make this as hard as possible