eragon
I have always passionately hated Eragon. Why? Well, first of all, the title is one letter away from “Dragon”. Quite simply, it lacks originality, as this hilarious section of an article from oregonlive.com proves.
Here's the story of "Eragon," with citations:
An opening narration ("Lord of the Rings") says that a great sect of supernatural warriors has been wiped out by an evil king ("Star Wars").
A supernaturally beautiful elven princess (“Lord of the Rings”) flees this evil force ("Star Wars") accidentally leaves a supernatural artifact ("Lord of the Rings") in the care of a blond farm boy named Eragon, who lives with his uncle ("Star Wars") in a bucolic countryside estate ("Lord of the Rings").
The artifact reveals powers long thought extinct ("Lord of the Rings"): a baby dragon that hatches out of a bright-blue lozenge (“Harry Potter”). The evil king and his evil wizard sidekick ("Star Wars," "Lord of the Rings") send screeching warriors to hunt down the farm boy ("Lord of the Rings"), killing the boy's uncle in the process ("Star Wars"), which sends Eragon on a quest with an elderly warrior mentor ("Star Wars," "Lord of the Rings").
Aided by the geezer and a rogue sidekick, the farm boy tries to rescue the princess, find a hidden resistance and master long-forgotten magic ("Star Wars"). The climax features a battle with ogre-like warriors trying to take a fortress city ("Lord of the Rings"), intercut with an aerial dogfight in a canyon full of towers ("Star Wars").
Ugh.
To add misery to humiliation, the orcs are called “urgals” or “urkles” or something, which sounds more like a sound my stomach makes when it is hungry than the name of a fearsome monster.
Here's the story of "Eragon," with citations:
An opening narration ("Lord of the Rings") says that a great sect of supernatural warriors has been wiped out by an evil king ("Star Wars").
A supernaturally beautiful elven princess (“Lord of the Rings”) flees this evil force ("Star Wars") accidentally leaves a supernatural artifact ("Lord of the Rings") in the care of a blond farm boy named Eragon, who lives with his uncle ("Star Wars") in a bucolic countryside estate ("Lord of the Rings").
The artifact reveals powers long thought extinct ("Lord of the Rings"): a baby dragon that hatches out of a bright-blue lozenge (“Harry Potter”). The evil king and his evil wizard sidekick ("Star Wars," "Lord of the Rings") send screeching warriors to hunt down the farm boy ("Lord of the Rings"), killing the boy's uncle in the process ("Star Wars"), which sends Eragon on a quest with an elderly warrior mentor ("Star Wars," "Lord of the Rings").
Aided by the geezer and a rogue sidekick, the farm boy tries to rescue the princess, find a hidden resistance and master long-forgotten magic ("Star Wars"). The climax features a battle with ogre-like warriors trying to take a fortress city ("Lord of the Rings"), intercut with an aerial dogfight in a canyon full of towers ("Star Wars").
Ugh.
To add misery to humiliation, the orcs are called “urgals” or “urkles” or something, which sounds more like a sound my stomach makes when it is hungry than the name of a fearsome monster.