de hormonies
suck.
I'm like lonely as soon as I'm by myself. If Nick's not here with me, I want my mom or someone else to come over as soon as possible. I don't want to be alone at all. I mean, yeah the baby's with me, but I just want another adult there. We don't even have to talk or be in the same room. If I go over to mom's she may be in the kitchen or outside, and I"m in with the boy watchin TV. That's fine, I know she there and it makes me feel better.
Today, I stayed at home all alone until almost 6:30pm. I tried to get mom to come over but she couldn't get away from the stuff at her house. Nick was volunteering for the V, and none of my friends ever come over. Finally, after trying forever to get Tony to stop screaming I went over to Mom's. She calmed him down somewhat, but he's still not a happy camper after yesterday's Dr visit.
I also have fun mood swings. I don't want to go anywhere, but I want out of the house. I want to show off the boy, but I'm afraid to take him places cuz he might get sick. I want to go over to my friend's house, but some still haven't even made an effort to see the baby in the month since he was born so I kinda feel like screw it. That make me a bad person? Then there are nights where I just want to take Tony over to Mom's and not be a mom for awhile, but as soon as I leave him I feel guilty, wonder if he's ok, and end up going back to get him pretty quick. Often skipping chores or stops at the grocery store I promised myself I was going to accomplish while I was kid free. I just want to hold him all the time and keep him right with me where I know he's safe.
I am happy to say his medicine does seem to be helping him. He slept almost 4 hours straight twice last night. Which meant I got sleep too. yay! Yet I'm still tired. heh. it will all work itself out soon... i hope. I love being a mommy, but let me tell you its waaaay different from anything I've ever done before. But I think I'm doing a pretty good job even if I am still learning.
I get angry over stupid things, and things I should be mad over I just don't have the energy to care. I'm ready for my hormones to be back to normal.
I'm like lonely as soon as I'm by myself. If Nick's not here with me, I want my mom or someone else to come over as soon as possible. I don't want to be alone at all. I mean, yeah the baby's with me, but I just want another adult there. We don't even have to talk or be in the same room. If I go over to mom's she may be in the kitchen or outside, and I"m in with the boy watchin TV. That's fine, I know she there and it makes me feel better.
Today, I stayed at home all alone until almost 6:30pm. I tried to get mom to come over but she couldn't get away from the stuff at her house. Nick was volunteering for the V, and none of my friends ever come over. Finally, after trying forever to get Tony to stop screaming I went over to Mom's. She calmed him down somewhat, but he's still not a happy camper after yesterday's Dr visit.
I also have fun mood swings. I don't want to go anywhere, but I want out of the house. I want to show off the boy, but I'm afraid to take him places cuz he might get sick. I want to go over to my friend's house, but some still haven't even made an effort to see the baby in the month since he was born so I kinda feel like screw it. That make me a bad person? Then there are nights where I just want to take Tony over to Mom's and not be a mom for awhile, but as soon as I leave him I feel guilty, wonder if he's ok, and end up going back to get him pretty quick. Often skipping chores or stops at the grocery store I promised myself I was going to accomplish while I was kid free. I just want to hold him all the time and keep him right with me where I know he's safe.
I am happy to say his medicine does seem to be helping him. He slept almost 4 hours straight twice last night. Which meant I got sleep too. yay! Yet I'm still tired. heh. it will all work itself out soon... i hope. I love being a mommy, but let me tell you its waaaay different from anything I've ever done before. But I think I'm doing a pretty good job even if I am still learning.
I get angry over stupid things, and things I should be mad over I just don't have the energy to care. I'm ready for my hormones to be back to normal.