I Cannot Forget [Chapter 1, part 3]
I Cannot Forget
Pairing: Ninomiya KazunarixOCxAkanishi Jin
Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-13(?)
Disclaimer: To Kitagawa Johnny-san, please do not sue me. T__T
Summary: "The richness of life lies in the memories we have forgotten." --Cesare Pavese
A/N: I was inspired by the song "Wasurerarenai" of Arashi.
Previous chapters: Forewords, part 1 of Chapter 1, part 2 of Chapter 1
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[part 3]
“Huntington’s disease,” I said and took a deep breath. “It’s a neurodegenerative disease and its symptoms can appear at any age. The person with this disease can have general restlessness or exhibit uncompleted mentions and slowed saccadic eye movement .He or she may also have cognitive problems which ultimately lead to dementia. Specialists also said that therapies could somehow ease her condition but those therapies have their limits. By that, there is no cure for HD.” I continued, “The life expectancy of the patient suffering HD is 20 years after diagnosis. However, in Mizuki’s case, she died seventeen years earlier because of heart failure.”
After I explained the condition of Mizuki, silence almost filled the room completely and battled with the sound of life support machines. None of us dared to break it. We also barely breathe that moment as we focused our eyes only to the lady still staring above the ceiling.
We heard shoes clicking its way closer to the room. As expected, a woman in a white coat with a stethoscope hanging around her neck opened the door and made herself inside the room. Dr. Uemura Shizuna was what her nameplate says. There were still no signs of any movement from Mizuki. She wasn’t even blinking her eyes. Uemura-sensei, passing through me and Takichi, continued to walk toward Mizuki.
“Mizuki-chan,” she called out.
Mizuki turned her head left and right like she was searching for that voice in the dark. Sensei, the laptop beeped and that word was flashed on the screen.
“I am here, Mizuki,” the woman doctor held Mizuki and comforted her. She was quite unsure of the current condition of Mizuki. There is anomaly here, she thought.
‘Sensei...’
“What is it?”
Are the lights off, sensei?’
“What are you--” Uemura startled and her breathing rate became faster. “It can’t be,” she whispered but loud enough for Mizuki to hear.
‘Did my glaucoma take away now my eyesight completely?’
Uemura kept her mouth shut and let her tears flow from her eyes, making them fall on Mizuki’s hand.
“Glaucoma?” Hiroyuki asked. Takichi also turned to me with his eyes wanting for an answer. But before I could open my mouth, Kamiyama spoke out for me.
“It is a disease nicknamed as the ‘sneak thief of sight’ because it gradually takes the vision of the person with this and when they diagnosed it, it’s too late already.”
“Before you even met her, she was already aware of her having glaucoma,” I said to them. “She even underwent operation when she was in high school to slow down her loss of vision. It was inferred that she acquired this because she was reading too much even if she’s in the dark with only a flashlight with her.” I continued, “When you met her, her disease was starting to steal her vision again. Day by day, her field of vision was reducing. But she continued her life like that disease never existed. She already lost a quarter of her sight when I met her. She left the house with only small range of vision left and struggled to make her way here. She contacted me but I was out of reach. I knew that she needed me at that time however I couldn’t go because I was summoned by the head of the angels.”
“How come she needed you and not me...the three of us?” Hiroyuki said referring to himself, his older brother and his best friend.
“She didn’t want to bother and burden you. Besides it was only I who knew about her condition among us.”
“If you weren’t able to send her to the hospital, how did she manage to go here if she, as you said earlier, was already dying and had small range of vision left?” Takichi cocked his eyebrows at me.
His question was answered when Yuki entered the room. His deep black hair was retained but his blue eyes were changed into brown and he wore human clothes: a pair of dark blue jeans, black shoes, white stripped polo shirt with a loose tie and a brown coat. Yuki approached Uemura and rested his left hand on her right shoulder while she wept her tears with her hands.
“Like what I told you,” Yuki said to Uemura. “Medicine cannot stop her worsening condition. There is nothing left that you could do but to wait for her time.”
“Shuji-san,” she addressed him coldly as she took off the hand of Yuki from her shoulder. She breathed deeply for hospital-scented air. She wept her teary bloodshot eyes but still could not refrain herself from crying. “You have nothing to do with my job. Indeed that I could not stop her condition from worsening but I am trying to ease her pain and lengthen her life span at least.”
“If that’s the case, Uemura-sensei, you’re not lessening the pain that she’s experiencing now. By making her live more than she is supposed to live, you are even worsening the pain, the pain beyond the limits of medicine.”
And with that, the young doctor walked away and slammed the door behind her. Her tears flew from her eyes and reached the other angel’s cheek. It was warm in contrast with the cold feeling of his skin. He felt electrified the moment he touched his cheek. He withdrew his fingers but they revisited that comforting spot, the spot that makes him feel like a human. And without noticing it, he was also in tears.
It can’t be, he whispered to himself while she tried to wipe the salty droplets of water. He was in great confusion now. A part of him was telling him to go after Uemura but the other was scolding him not to do so. He could not decide if he would go for what he thinks is right while others think otherwise or have the courage to do what he thinks is wrong but the others think is the righteous thing. He decided to follow the one that is morally right. His deliberating mind was distracted when the laptop which was connected to the head of Mizuki via transmitter beeped all of the sudden.
‘Yuki-kun,’ Mizuki’s thoughts were flashed on the screen of the laptop. ‘You shouldn’t say that to Shizu-chan. It’s a bit rude and you kind of hurt her feelings.’
“I only said to her one of the realities of life,” he touched the pale face of Mizuki. She had that dead-like color from the moment she stepped herself inside the hospital. “I know that she’s your friend and she will do anything to save you but she must accept what is already planned.”
‘Why can’t we, humans, change what will happen to us next? Isn’t it our future is the consequences of what we had done in the past?’ She was getting irritated as shown in the furrowing of her eyebrows. ‘And with that, isn’t the present is the time for us to compensate for our mistakes and make everything right?’
“No matter how one tries to change things and correct one’s mistakes, the end will still be the same. Do you understand that, Ito Mizuki?”
‘’No...I will never understand what you said.’ She felt defeated. ‘But there is no choice for me but to accept it.’
“At least, you know the right thing to do,” Yuki smiled and let go off her face. He sat down on the sofa near the window which was on the side where Kamiyama was.
Kamiyama looked back at Yuki and stared at him confusingly. He then asked me, “Why Mizuki called Shuji-kun by the name of Yuki?”
I sat down beside Yuki and answered Kamiyama. “Yuki is his real name and ‘Shuji’ is just his pseudonym like how I use the name ‘Hayato’ in your world.”
“Do you mean that Shuji-kun, or Yuki-kun, is also like you, an angel?” Takichi clarified.
“Yes,” I affirmed. “I actually sent him here in my replacement since, as I said earlier, I was summoned by the head of the angels. I know that I could entrust Mizuki to him since he is also aware of her sickness and she knew of his being an angel.”
The laptop beeped again, causing us to jerk our heads to the direction of Mizuki. ‘Is Kashi with you?’
“Kashi is not with me and he sent me to take his place.”
‘Is that so?’ She sighed. ‘Where is he then?’
“His father, the head of the angels, convened him in the courtroom of the heavens.”
‘I am greatly sorry...’
“You don’t need to feel sorry. It’s not your fault,” Yuki comforted her. “Kashi actually want to pass a message to you.”
‘What is it?’
“Winter is just starting.”
Everything became still again except from the working life-support machines and our breathing. Yuki opened the curtains to let the rays of the sun enter the room I looked down at the people walking the hospital grounds through the window. Takichi approached my side and looked far outside, staring at the horizon. Both Kamiyama and Hiroyuki also stared at the horizon but stayed in their places.
I finally looked also to the horizon. All of us fixed our eyes to the mountain in front of us. The scenery was priceless. Nothing could be compared to the beauty of Fuji-san while the sun illuminates it from behind. Unfortunately, Mizuki missed to capture the wonder of the picturesque appearance of her favorite landscape with her film camera.
She closed her eyes into sleep.
The snow started to fall.
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A/N: YAY! XD At last, the fist chapter is done!!!! Please comment
Pairing: Ninomiya KazunarixOCxAkanishi Jin
Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-13(?)
Disclaimer: To Kitagawa Johnny-san, please do not sue me. T__T
Summary: "The richness of life lies in the memories we have forgotten." --Cesare Pavese
A/N: I was inspired by the song "Wasurerarenai" of Arashi.
Previous chapters: Forewords, part 1 of Chapter 1, part 2 of Chapter 1
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[part 3]
“Huntington’s disease,” I said and took a deep breath. “It’s a neurodegenerative disease and its symptoms can appear at any age. The person with this disease can have general restlessness or exhibit uncompleted mentions and slowed saccadic eye movement .He or she may also have cognitive problems which ultimately lead to dementia. Specialists also said that therapies could somehow ease her condition but those therapies have their limits. By that, there is no cure for HD.” I continued, “The life expectancy of the patient suffering HD is 20 years after diagnosis. However, in Mizuki’s case, she died seventeen years earlier because of heart failure.”
After I explained the condition of Mizuki, silence almost filled the room completely and battled with the sound of life support machines. None of us dared to break it. We also barely breathe that moment as we focused our eyes only to the lady still staring above the ceiling.
We heard shoes clicking its way closer to the room. As expected, a woman in a white coat with a stethoscope hanging around her neck opened the door and made herself inside the room. Dr. Uemura Shizuna was what her nameplate says. There were still no signs of any movement from Mizuki. She wasn’t even blinking her eyes. Uemura-sensei, passing through me and Takichi, continued to walk toward Mizuki.
“Mizuki-chan,” she called out.
Mizuki turned her head left and right like she was searching for that voice in the dark. Sensei, the laptop beeped and that word was flashed on the screen.
“I am here, Mizuki,” the woman doctor held Mizuki and comforted her. She was quite unsure of the current condition of Mizuki. There is anomaly here, she thought.
‘Sensei...’
“What is it?”
Are the lights off, sensei?’
“What are you--” Uemura startled and her breathing rate became faster. “It can’t be,” she whispered but loud enough for Mizuki to hear.
‘Did my glaucoma take away now my eyesight completely?’
Uemura kept her mouth shut and let her tears flow from her eyes, making them fall on Mizuki’s hand.
“Glaucoma?” Hiroyuki asked. Takichi also turned to me with his eyes wanting for an answer. But before I could open my mouth, Kamiyama spoke out for me.
“It is a disease nicknamed as the ‘sneak thief of sight’ because it gradually takes the vision of the person with this and when they diagnosed it, it’s too late already.”
“Before you even met her, she was already aware of her having glaucoma,” I said to them. “She even underwent operation when she was in high school to slow down her loss of vision. It was inferred that she acquired this because she was reading too much even if she’s in the dark with only a flashlight with her.” I continued, “When you met her, her disease was starting to steal her vision again. Day by day, her field of vision was reducing. But she continued her life like that disease never existed. She already lost a quarter of her sight when I met her. She left the house with only small range of vision left and struggled to make her way here. She contacted me but I was out of reach. I knew that she needed me at that time however I couldn’t go because I was summoned by the head of the angels.”
“How come she needed you and not me...the three of us?” Hiroyuki said referring to himself, his older brother and his best friend.
“She didn’t want to bother and burden you. Besides it was only I who knew about her condition among us.”
“If you weren’t able to send her to the hospital, how did she manage to go here if she, as you said earlier, was already dying and had small range of vision left?” Takichi cocked his eyebrows at me.
His question was answered when Yuki entered the room. His deep black hair was retained but his blue eyes were changed into brown and he wore human clothes: a pair of dark blue jeans, black shoes, white stripped polo shirt with a loose tie and a brown coat. Yuki approached Uemura and rested his left hand on her right shoulder while she wept her tears with her hands.
“Like what I told you,” Yuki said to Uemura. “Medicine cannot stop her worsening condition. There is nothing left that you could do but to wait for her time.”
“Shuji-san,” she addressed him coldly as she took off the hand of Yuki from her shoulder. She breathed deeply for hospital-scented air. She wept her teary bloodshot eyes but still could not refrain herself from crying. “You have nothing to do with my job. Indeed that I could not stop her condition from worsening but I am trying to ease her pain and lengthen her life span at least.”
“If that’s the case, Uemura-sensei, you’re not lessening the pain that she’s experiencing now. By making her live more than she is supposed to live, you are even worsening the pain, the pain beyond the limits of medicine.”
And with that, the young doctor walked away and slammed the door behind her. Her tears flew from her eyes and reached the other angel’s cheek. It was warm in contrast with the cold feeling of his skin. He felt electrified the moment he touched his cheek. He withdrew his fingers but they revisited that comforting spot, the spot that makes him feel like a human. And without noticing it, he was also in tears.
It can’t be, he whispered to himself while she tried to wipe the salty droplets of water. He was in great confusion now. A part of him was telling him to go after Uemura but the other was scolding him not to do so. He could not decide if he would go for what he thinks is right while others think otherwise or have the courage to do what he thinks is wrong but the others think is the righteous thing. He decided to follow the one that is morally right. His deliberating mind was distracted when the laptop which was connected to the head of Mizuki via transmitter beeped all of the sudden.
‘Yuki-kun,’ Mizuki’s thoughts were flashed on the screen of the laptop. ‘You shouldn’t say that to Shizu-chan. It’s a bit rude and you kind of hurt her feelings.’
“I only said to her one of the realities of life,” he touched the pale face of Mizuki. She had that dead-like color from the moment she stepped herself inside the hospital. “I know that she’s your friend and she will do anything to save you but she must accept what is already planned.”
‘Why can’t we, humans, change what will happen to us next? Isn’t it our future is the consequences of what we had done in the past?’ She was getting irritated as shown in the furrowing of her eyebrows. ‘And with that, isn’t the present is the time for us to compensate for our mistakes and make everything right?’
“No matter how one tries to change things and correct one’s mistakes, the end will still be the same. Do you understand that, Ito Mizuki?”
‘’No...I will never understand what you said.’ She felt defeated. ‘But there is no choice for me but to accept it.’
“At least, you know the right thing to do,” Yuki smiled and let go off her face. He sat down on the sofa near the window which was on the side where Kamiyama was.
Kamiyama looked back at Yuki and stared at him confusingly. He then asked me, “Why Mizuki called Shuji-kun by the name of Yuki?”
I sat down beside Yuki and answered Kamiyama. “Yuki is his real name and ‘Shuji’ is just his pseudonym like how I use the name ‘Hayato’ in your world.”
“Do you mean that Shuji-kun, or Yuki-kun, is also like you, an angel?” Takichi clarified.
“Yes,” I affirmed. “I actually sent him here in my replacement since, as I said earlier, I was summoned by the head of the angels. I know that I could entrust Mizuki to him since he is also aware of her sickness and she knew of his being an angel.”
The laptop beeped again, causing us to jerk our heads to the direction of Mizuki. ‘Is Kashi with you?’
“Kashi is not with me and he sent me to take his place.”
‘Is that so?’ She sighed. ‘Where is he then?’
“His father, the head of the angels, convened him in the courtroom of the heavens.”
‘I am greatly sorry...’
“You don’t need to feel sorry. It’s not your fault,” Yuki comforted her. “Kashi actually want to pass a message to you.”
‘What is it?’
“Winter is just starting.”
Everything became still again except from the working life-support machines and our breathing. Yuki opened the curtains to let the rays of the sun enter the room I looked down at the people walking the hospital grounds through the window. Takichi approached my side and looked far outside, staring at the horizon. Both Kamiyama and Hiroyuki also stared at the horizon but stayed in their places.
I finally looked also to the horizon. All of us fixed our eyes to the mountain in front of us. The scenery was priceless. Nothing could be compared to the beauty of Fuji-san while the sun illuminates it from behind. Unfortunately, Mizuki missed to capture the wonder of the picturesque appearance of her favorite landscape with her film camera.
She closed her eyes into sleep.
The snow started to fall.
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A/N: YAY! XD At last, the fist chapter is done!!!! Please comment