[Fic: RPF] Come Close, Listen to the Story (4/5), Part 2
Title/Chapter: This Is Not Your Song, 4/5 (part two)
Pairing: Demi Lovato/Selena Gomez
POV: Selena
Rating/Word Count: PG-13/11,471 (both 1 & 2)
Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own either Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, or Selena Gomez, and none of the portrayed events should be taken as fact. They are fiction and never actually happened. No matter how much I wish they did. Other disclaimers are at my journal. This is a RPF femslash story, meaning about real people and two girls in a romantic relationship context. If either or both of those things bother you, this is not the story for you. Rating for mentions of self-harm.
A/N: This is a reposting from my journal, where this was originally posted and from where I'm transferring all my fic. If we are friends, then you can still read it here. Please be honest about what you think, good or bad. The songs in this chapter are "Unraveling" by Tyler Kyte and/or Alexz Johnson (from "Instant Star" season 3) and "Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift (with a few tweaks here and there). There will be some grammatical mistakes, but usually to emphasize dialogue, particularly with Miley. This chapter is broken into two parts, since apparently LJ is stupid and the chapter is too big. The story title is from the first lyric of "True Love" by Phil Wickham, and chapter titles are from "About A Girl" by The Academy Is. Huge thank you to arkeis for helping beta this thing, letscall_l for the inspiration to get off my ass and get it done, xcinamonx for introducing me to Picnik (where I made the story graphics), and everyone over at demi_selena for your encouragement and support.
Summary: Miley and Taylor work with Demi to pull off a surprise concert for Selena's seventeenth birthday while also trying to push Demi and Selena toward each other.
I'm Not In Love, 1/5
This Is Not My Heart, 2/5
I'm Not Gonna Waste These Words, 3/5
part one
You wake the next morning in your favorite way: in her arms, while she’s still asleep. A rare thing, really, since she always gets up before you because she takes forever to get ready. You smile upon seeing your hands, intertwined with her guitar-calloused ones, before pulling yours free and slowly rolling over, her arms still around you. She stirs, but just tightens her hold. Her eyelashes flutter and you imagine her waking you with butterfly kisses, stomach twisting with longing at the thought, and you chance a glance at the clock. It’s already 7:30, and you promised Mom that you’d meet her for breakfast at nine. It’s going to be a busy birthday: breakfast with Mom, lunch with Taylor, and tonight some kind of fancy family dinner with Taylor, Demi, Miley, and their families. They’re acting kinda secretive about it, but you know to get ready by seven tonight.
You boldly kiss her nose before pulling her arms away, attempting to slide out unnoticed. “S’lena?” she mumbles sleepily. So much for that plan. “I gotta get up, Dem, I’m meeting Mom for breakfast, okay?” She nods and rolls over onto her stomach, pulling all the blankets in with her. You stand up laughing, then lean over to kiss her temple. “I’ll be back later, okay?” She mumbles something indistinct and burrows further into the blankets. You knock on the bathroom door before heading in, and find Miley already awake, brushing her teeth. She waves at you in the mirror as you shut the door separating the shower and toilet from the rest of the bathroom. “Sel?”
“Yeah, Miles?” you call through the door. “Take first shower, I’ve gotta get Taylor up and rollin’, ’kay?” You laugh because it’ll take Miley the entire time to rouse Taylor. Probably a promise of coffee and Cracker Barrel, too. “Thanks. If she’s not up by the time I’m out, let me know so I can help.”
After you finish getting ready, you check on Demi (still asleep, but not for long, from the way she’s stirring) and Taylor (not even close to awake). You find the train whistle Miley keeps in her desk drawer, a souvenir from the Grand Ole Opry, and blow it hard. The loud sound startles her awake. “Taylor Alison Swift, get your lazy butt outta bed now!”
You walk outside to the waiting car, ignoring the paparazzi circling the Cyrus home like vultures. You find a little breakfast cafe and order coffee and quiche, something light since you’ll eat again with Taylor in a few hours. You love hanging out with just your mom because it reminds you of the old days, when you only had each other. While you’d never go back to the uncertainty of living in little apartments barely getting by, sometimes you miss being with just her in the small studio loft, when you were just Sel, not Selena Gomez, Disney’s next “it” girl. You leave together and do a bit of shopping before she drops you off at the diner where you’re meeting Taylor.
Right at 12:30, Taylor walks in, still a bit sluggish, and you can’t help but laugh. She’s wearing jeans, two layered shirts, and knee-high leather boots with her big leather bag, the remains of another white mocha frappuccino in her hand, which only makes you laugh harder. When you order she finally comes to life and you eat and sit giggling for hours, fully enjoying the randomness.
Around three you both head back to Miley’s and immediately start picking outfits. Demi walks through the front door just in time to hear the discussion, and you all head upstairs to look through dresses. After everyone’s advice, you each split up to get ready. Four of you in one bathroom either signals disaster or insane fun, probably both. Taylor’s innate organization and Miley’s internal schedule help everyone along, though. Demi wears the black somewhat-assymetrical dress from the “Hannah Montana” premiere (on your insistence), you wear the black polka dot dress you wore to the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Party, Taylor wears her black strapless rhinestone dress from Kellie’s video and her black boots, and Miley finally decided on her sparkly short black dress with the belt across it from the VMAs. Only when you all get in the bathroom together do you realize that you’ve each chosen a little black dress. Miley and Demi both make some crack about what the gossip blogs will say and everyone laughs for a good five minutes. Miley and Demi leave early, stopping by Demi’s to pick up something Miley left, and Dallas picks you and Taylor up together, claiming the ride over will be a good time for her to catch up with both of you.
Upon arriving, you realize it’s a theatre, not a restaurant, and Dallas and Taylor quickly run ahead, mumbling something about your cake. You prepare to walk in alone, until Big Rob walks up to escort you through the throngs of press. You give him a big hug, pleasantly surprised. He opens the door, and the sight literally takes your breath away.
Inside, green and black streamers hang everywhere with balloons floating around randomly. The red carpet Big Rob walked you down outside is actually green, and he leads you to an empty front center table inside the actual theater. A Converse high-top sneaker sits in the middle of the table, holding flowers and ribbons and sparkly aluminum stars, making a perfect (if unconventional) centerpiece. Chinese lanterns hang low all over the theater, creating an even more intimate feel and the china, simple white plates trimmed in black, feature name cards. The guests slowly enter the theater and you look around you and smile at the familiar names: Demi to your right, Taylor to your left, and Miley between them. It’s a small table, and you see other tables that seat six to eight. Soon the lights dim, and everyone cheers loudly.
“Hey guys, for those of you that don’t know me,” a scruffy-haired blonde guy says, emerging onstage. Your smile grows wide, unable to believe he’s really here. “My name’s Jonathan, and I’m in a band called Forever the Sickest Kids.” He grins somewhat shyly before continuing. “I just want to welcome you guys to Tower Theater, and say thank you to all the awesome people that keep this place going for allowing us to party here tonight. We’re gonna hang out and have fun, all in honor of little sister, miss Selena Gomez!” At this everyone cheers, and you obey Jonathan’s gestures for you to stand, turning to wave at everyone behind you. You see the faces of about a hundred people closest to you, mainly friends and coworkers.
“Tonight y’all are in for a great time, because we’ve got a night full of dancing, food, and music! Sit back, or even better, get up and dance, to this next song, and wish little miss Selenita a happy seventeenth birthday! Take it away, girls!”
The old-fashioned stage curtains roll back to reveal your three closest friends, looking for all the world like the fiercest performers the 1980s could offer. Demi opens the song with the ever-familiar chords, much more electric than the original, and you laugh because this has Miley written all over it. You told her she was crazy for covering this song, but now you could smack yourself because of course “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” fits her perfectly. Taylor plays the baby grand with her usual intensity, and Miley prances around crazily on stage. But this time all three of them sing instead of just Miley, and they glow with an infectious joy. When the song ends, with three matching vocal hitches that easily rival Cyndi Lauper, you’re the first on your feet.
Miley and Demi sit down beside you, leaving Taylor alone onstage. She talks about how much she loves being your friend, and some of your silly rituals when one of you is sad or lonely. She plays “Fearless” while you sing along to every word, and you notice Miley and Demi doing the same. Demi catches your eye and smiles, her eyes dancing and when the song ends, she pulls you up into her arms. Taylor begins her next song, “I’m Only Me When I’m With You,” and you enjoy the feel of Demi spinning you while you dance together. When both sit down at the end of the song, you notice Miley once again join Taylor onstage. The familiar acoustic chords play and you’re taken back to a cool February night that feels like forever ago. “Fifteen” haunts you like always, and Miley nails it even better than at the Grammy’s. Fortunately Taylor’s tour has made her confront the emotions of this song, so she holds it together better than she did then. You love the last verse because you’ve hung out with Abigail (who’s probably even crazier than Miley), and you can’t imagine some boy breaking her heart. Taylor’s always there to clean up what others leave behind. You hope, with all your heart, that she’ll find someone that’s everything she’s dreamed of and written about, and you’ll never have to patch another Jonas-induced broken heart. For either of them.
Her voice still catches when she sings Abi’s verse, and Miley’s eyes still shine slightly when she sings about realizing bigger dreams than marrying the boy. You love seeing them perform together, and how their unlikely bond is connected to the song that’s come to mean so much to so many, yourself included. Life changed forever for both you and Demi at fifteen, and anything normal disappeared somewhere between Dallas and LA. Unlike Taylor, and more recently Miley, you’re still fighting through it all. You jump up to intercept Taylor when she comes down and hold on for a few moments, whispering your gratitude in her ear. She yanks Demi up, and you all dance along to “7 Things.”
What used to be an awkward song is just another fun one, and you think of it the same way you think of Taylor’s songs: a snapshot in time of emotion and reflection. Really, that’s how it looked from Miley’s perspective, so no wonder she freaked out. It didn’t last longer than a week between you, but it blew up for months in the press, until the Teen Choice Awards. Miley gears up for “See U Again,” and she actually comes down to dance with the three of you. Suddenly the moment looks just like any other girlfriends at a club dancing together, and that realization gives you a peace that you’ve lacked for a while. She substitutes “Lena” for “Leslie” in the chorus, and you smile so widely that your face hurts. She dances a bit with each of you, then runs crazy around the stage (like always), all in a blur until she’s with you again at the end of the song. She gives you a side hug while grabbing Demi and yanking her along at breakneck speed.
Both of them stand onstage together, laughing and grinning madly, looking slightly crazed. It’s only now that you recognize that they both have the same mischievous smile. No wonder they became such fast friends; they’re so much alike. Miley picks up her Daisy Rock electric, while Demi takes center stage. She picks up her guitar, this time the red Gibson, and stands in her usual rocker pose, waiting for the band to kick in. You’ve never seen anything hotter in your life, and suddenly the theater feels like an August night back home in Texas with no air conditioning. Taylor takes in your flushed face and eyeballs you, mouthing, “You okay?” You nod numbly and turn back to the stage, and the drums kick up right when Demi strikes the first chord, which you instantly recognize as “Party.” Your jaw drops in shock. Sure, Demi plays guitar amazingly well, but she’s not able to do it on all her songs, all the way through just yet. You’ve never seen her sing and play this song live (for real, not just goofing around at Miley’s). It’s difficult at best, so you know she’s put a lot into it, and try hard to catch her eyes. When you finally do, there’s not a hint of nervousness there, only complete confidence and a slight cockiness. Now she’s just showing off for you at your party. Having Miley behind her and Miley’s drummer for the night (so Taylor informs you) probably helps a lot.
Her eyes lock on yours nearly the entire time, probably because she’s not used to seeing you front and center; you usually stay backstage at her shows. There’s a different feel to the air tonight, a different tension or energy or something you can’t quite place. At “one by one we’re stealing the stage,” her eyes cut quickly to Miley, and they both grin maniacally yet again. You finally start dancing and already Taylor’s completely let go, hair swaying wildly while you sing along and lose yourself in the song. Demi usually walks around a lot onstage, so it’s no surprise when she inches closer to the edge in front of you. When she sings “wave your hands in the air” not only do you move away from Taylor’s wild waving arms, you come so close to the stage you can almost touch it. Demi waves to indicate what she wants, and gives you no choice but to comply. She swings her guitar back a bit and extends her hand, which you take as she pulls you onstage. She brings her guitar back around and you lean into her right side, grab the mic stand and sing along, “all dolled up with nowhere to go, wanna get out and put on a show; there’s nothin’ wrong with stayin’ home as long as you’ve got your radio.”
It’s sweat and electricity and that tension again, stronger than ever before, onstage beside her. Your quarter-sleeved dress is suddenly the worst idea in the world, especially since she’s moving her hips in ways you never even knew possible. Her lips are slightly chapped but still pouty and full while she puts her all into this performance. You listen to the lyrics you’re both singing, realizing that they speak a little too much truth right now, and you only hope she’s not finding clues in anything tonight. She raises her hands for a moment to clap along while only the drums play, and then takes full control once more. Finally the song ends, and you both scream-sing, “let’s do it again!” simultaneously to thunderous applause. Taylor runs up onstage excitedly, practically squealing, and grabs the microphone.
“Well, I bet these three are worn out after that incredible performance, so I’ll make this announcement. There’s a big ole spread of food and such back toward the back of the theater, and right now we’re gonna have an intermission to let everyone breathe again,” she laughs, looking at us all. “There’s all kinds of stuff, plus we’ve got the return of the popcorn bar this year, with all the toppings, so go enjoy it, and we’ll get back to the fun in a little while. Hope you’re all having fun!”
You finally get your breathing under control, then grab Taylor and Demi and yank them alongside you to get to the popcorn bar. Pickle juice is practically calling your name right now. Anything to calm your nerves, and slow down the adrenaline from that last song. You look over to the candy table (wait, a whole table of candy?!) and see three very familiar little girls. Noah and Maddie stand there goofing around like normal, and really, mini-Demi and mini-Miley hyped out on that much candy? Heaven help Hollywood. But beside them, the little girl with dark blonde hair, turns and catches your eye. “Selena!”
“Joey! What’re you doing here?” You open your arms wide and she runs into them at full speed. You’ve missed her more than you’ve ever missed anyone besides Demi. Joey basically became your little sister in Canada, and you’ve missed the way she effortlessly brightens your day. But it’s late, where’s her family?
“Hayley’s in line for food,” she giggles, noticing how your eyes sweep the theater. “Gosh, Selena, you really think they’d let me come by myself?”
“No,” you laugh back, “I just wanted to make sure.” Joey’s eyes roll slightly, because this behavior is nothing new. You hate taking bodyguards anywhere you don’t have to, and in Puerto Rico there wasn’t much need, not like here in LA. Either way, you always took one when Joey went anywhere with you, even just to Starbucks; you watch over her like a hawk. She didn’t need to see some of the things you’ve seen in this business, not when she’s only nine, and so innocent still.
She looks up at you wide-eyed, and says, “I’ve never heard you sing like that before.” “That was so cool!” She gushes, face breaking into a large smile. “How come you never let me see you sing that one?”
You slide your arm around her and listen to her chatter, “oh, and the way you both looked at each other on the last line was so cool! Kinda like you always taught me, letting you feelings show while you act and perform. You look really pretty tonight, Selena.” She bats her little eyes and you’re absolutely speechless. Does she even know what she’s saying? Knowing her, probably.
“Th-thank you sweetie,” you stutter, knowing your face is probably really pale right now, “but what last part of the song did you mean?”
“The part where it goes, ‘the way you make me move.’ It looked so cool, you looking each other up and down and dancing and leaning into each other the whole time. I know you missed her a whole lot when we were in Canada, ’cause you were always so sad. But know what? I think she missed you, too.” She beams at you while you try to not fall apart. Really, what do you say, and where do you even start?
“Yeah, she did,” you whisper, almost to yourself. You shake yourself back to the moment, and the little girl looking up at you expectantly. “So,” you smirk deviously, “you ever seen a popcorn bar before?” She shakes her head, and you pull her further into your side. “Well, we need to change that. When we were little, me and Demi used to make something really special, and I’ll show you how when we get over there. But real food first, okay?” Joey rolls her eyes again, still smiling, and you find the food. There’s a little of everything, and you pile up a plate. Finally, you walk her to the popcorn bar and make bags for you both. The popcorn toppings line up along the bar, just like the sauce bottles and sprinkle shakers at an ice cream stand. There’s everything from butter to M&Ms to caramel, and finally, pickle juice. Joey’s face is priceless when she sees you apply tons of it. She sticks to caramel and turns her nose at your concoction.
You offer to let her sit with you, but she decides to go back to Hayley (and Noah and Maddie, sitting nearby). You go back to your own table, pleasantly surprised to see both Taylor and Miley already there. This might take a while, since Miley can eat nearly any teenage boy under the table and Taylor’s not too far behind her. Sure enough, between them there’s four heaping plates, and a massive bowl with nearly every type of candy. You just shake your head and laugh. You don’t see Demi anywhere, but she’s probably just doing something backstage. You look around and notice a few of the “Wizards” crew members are on the dance floor, goofing around to the music playing in the background. Everyone really seems to enjoy this, and you can’t believe they came up with this when all you told Demi was that some kind of concert would be fun. You’re starting in on the pickle juice popcorn when you feel Demi slide in next to you.
“Hey Miles, you gonna save some for the rest of us?” She snickers while Miley sneers. Demi didn’t bring any food over, so you hand her your popcorn. She takes a couple handfuls before sliding it back to you, laughing the whole time. “Having fun, Lena?” You nod and lean into the shoulder and arm that’s found its way to the back of your chair.
“Yeah, I am,” you shift slightly to meet her eyes, “thank you. Actually,” you tilt back to look at Miley and Taylor, “I want to thank all of you, for doing all this. I just...you guys are my best friends, and it means a lot to me that you’d go to all this trouble for me, put your lives on hold to put this together. Really, just, thank you.” You bury your face into Demi’s shoulder, trying to hide the tears. Her hand runs through your hair for a moment before pulling away and facing you. “So, what’s up next?” You ask, smile back in place.
Demi looks quickly to Miley and Taylor, then back to you. “Well, there’s a bit of a change to the setlist, but you’ll have to wait to find out.” She grins deviously again, and you smile back. Miley, on the other hand, has her typical raised eyebrow, folded arms look of death. Taylor doesn’t look too excited, either. What’s going on here?
“Guys,” Demi huffs, annoyance emanating from her voice, “it’s just an addition; I didn’t take anything out. They’re going first after intermission, then back to the original setlist. Stop freaking out.” They seem to visibly relax, but Miley’s eyes remain skeptical. Really, though, that’s nothing new. Throughout the rest of the intermission various people stop by to give their own birthday wishes, including Jen Stone, Alyson Stoner, and Demi’s friend Jac Vanek. The best, however, is when the Hayley Williams comes by for a few minutes to wish you a happy birthday. She explains that Paramore had a concert tonight in LA, but Miley told her that you were a big fan and so Hayley wanted to come see you. When Hayley leaves, you see Miley and Demi high-five behind you, with wide smiles. Suddenly you hear microphone static, and everyone faces the stage.
“Hey everyone.” On stage stands a young guy with shaggy brown hair, a red plaid shirt that doesn’t quite cover his tattoos, a sideways trucker hat, baggy jeans, and skater shoes. He’s always fun to have around, and you laugh not knowing what they’re planning at all. “My name’s Jonas, and I’m the drummer for Selena’s band (when she lets me be).” Everyone laughs as your face flushes, but your smile only grows wider, if possible. “We’re here because we wanna say ‘happy birthday’ to our lead singer-” the clapping interrupts him for a moment, then he continues. “So we also wanted to give you your birthday gift. We got a call from the label today, and talked to Demi backstage earlier, who agreed that it’d be more fun to tell you in person.” He pauses for a moment and Demi reaches for your hand, calming you while you anxiously await Jonah’s news.
Jonas smiles larger than you’ve ever seen, and turns to look at the rest of the band behind him for a moment before facing the crowd and finding your eyes. “Gomez, they green-lighted ‘Unraveling’ for the first single.”
You jump up screaming before you even realize it, and Demi releases your hand. Taylor hugs you, jumping around the same way, followed by Miley (a bit calmer, but still grinning). Demi captures you in her arms and holds you there, whispering, “I’m so proud of you.” She pushes you toward the stage, and you hug all the guys once you get there. Only when you’re standing next to Jonas do you realize he’s got more up his sleeve.
“So we got an idea and we asked and got it approved, and we’re totally not gonna make you,” he rambles into the mic, scratching his neck nervously, “but we wondered if you’d like to show off a little tonight. You know, since you already sang once...”
You stare at him in shock, emotions threatening to take over. You want to, so much, but you’re afraid to let everyone see you so vulnerable. But you know they want to hear it, because you’ve been so secretive with this song in particular. Nobody’s heard the whole thing; even Demi only heard the last bridge. You gradually become aware of everyone chanting your name. Mind made up, you reach for the mic to thunderous applause.
“Alright then, let’s do this.” Your giggle bounces off the theater walls, eyes scanning the crowd. “But first, I want to say thank you all for coming out tonight, and enjoying my seventeenth birthday with me. It’s been the best birthday in a long time, and I also want to give a huge thank you to Taylor, Miley, and Demi for putting it all together.” Everyone applauds and cheers loudly again, and you join them for a moment. “Thanks guys, for being there when I need someone to laugh with, cry with, or plot revenge schemes with.” You meet three vastly different sets of eyes while everyone else laughs.
“So this song’s now officially the first single off the album, which comes out in September. Behind me’s Jonas (who you already met), Micah on bass, Liam on electric, and Jude on keyboards,” you suck in a deep breath before continuing, “and my name’s Selena. The song’s called ‘Unraveling’ and it’s the one I fought the hardest for, and basically the one that means the most to me. I wrote it during filming for the “Wizards” movie, and everything I’d felt for over a year just poured out. I fought for it to make the album, and it was so worth it. This is for my friends, and anyone else that’s ever watched their whole world shatter at their feet. This is ‘Unraveling’.”
You hear Liam’s opening chords and suddenly a calm washes over you, just like Demi promised. You stare into her eyes a few seconds too long before closing yours to focus your courage. Too low for anyone else to hear, you murmur, “this is for you.”
“I’ve been walking through the ruins
Of my life and times
Seems like everything is sinking right in front of my eyes
I’ve been asking all the questions,”
Your eyes snap open when Micah slams in right on cue, bringing your song to life.
“But nothing’s coming back
Now I’m trying to keep myself from slipping through the cracks
Where is my faith?
How did I get this far?
Who do I blame when it all falls apart?”
You slide the microphone out and swing the stand backward behind you, the music building inside, into a crushing force that wants, no, needs, to break free.
“Maybe the moon’s just a hole in the sky
One day at a time, my world is shattering
Maybe the answer’s to never ask why
As I watch my life unraveling
Unraveling
I don’t know who to turn to
And I wonder who’s a friend,”
You let go of the mic stand and run your now-free hand through your curly hair (Demi’s favorite way to fix it) before pulling it down and balling it into a fist, the only visible sign of the desperation you lived with daily.
“Out of everyone I trusted to be there till the end
I’m running out of reasons for putting up a fight,”
Your eyes drift to Taylor and Miley, because it’s their song nearly as much as it is Demi’s. Especially your next words.
“Trying to drag another lost soul back into the light
How can I heal so many broken hearts?
And who’s there for me when it all falls apart?”
Okay, so the girls are there for you, Taylor more so lately because you can’t talk to Demi about love issues. You just can’t. Miley would be, too, if you let her. Sometimes she is anyway, whether you want her there or not. But lately, you’ve never felt more alone.
“Maybe the moon’s just a hole in the sky
One day at a time, my world is shattering
Maybe the answer’s to never ask why
As I watch my life unraveling
Unraveling
We were so strong when we started
Something went wrong
And all the things that mattered somehow got away
Away”
You wonder if, somewhere between the move from Dallas and the various rumors, you lost the beautiful little dreamers you once were, if you lost yourselves. You scan the faces of everyone in the theater, wondering, almost asking, if you’ll ever get that back.
“Maybe the moon’s just a hole in the sky
One day at a time, my world is shattering
Maybe the answer’s to never ask why
As I watch my life unraveling
As I watch my life unraveling,”
You let go of the mic and grab drumsticks to play right by Jonas on the most fun part.
“Unraveling
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time.”
Your eyes flutter shut for just a second, enough to calm down and slide on the smile. Loud screams and applause greet your ears, and a standing ovation greets your eyes when you open them. The smile stays forgotten in favor of shock. “Thank you,” you whisper into Jonas’ microphone, and walk offstage into your friends’ waiting arms.
They all congratulate you, but you notice Demi doesn’t quite meet your eyes. She pulls away quickly, something about needing to go. Taylor takes you by the arm, leading back to the table with Miley trailing behind. You get settled again when a noise onstage draws your attention, and you catch a breathtaking sight: Demi sitting at the piano, flawlessly beautiful. She adjusts the microphone and turns to face the crowd, to face you.
“Several of you know that I’ve like, written more songs than I can even count,” she giggles, and even now you remember her messy bedroom covered in scraps of songs and drawings all over the floor. “But neither of the songs I’m singing tonight are mine. Well, the first one is, but I mean like...it’s not one that I wrote. But it should be. Even though I did this song for a movie, it like, describes my life so perfectly. I always worked so hard to go after my dreams, but all my insecurities held me back. I like, never really thought I’d make it, that we’d make it, but we did. Thanks to you,” she turns her eyes slightly to find yours, and holds them there, dropping any pretense of talking to anyone but you.
“I’ve finally found myself...this person you always knew I could be,” her voice rasps slightly, exhaustion and emotion beginning to overwhelm her, “even when I was a broken mess just trying to keep from falling apart. Even when I couldn’t believe in myself, you believed in me. Your voice is the one I hear in my head, the one that pushes back the darkness and the pain. You’re the reason I’m sitting on this stage, that I have this life, and you’ve always been the reason that I sing. God, you’re like, everything to me, Selena, and you’re the reason that, finally, this is me.”
With that her fingers gracefully move across the keys, like God created them for that reason alone. She sings the now-familiar song in the haunting acoustic style that you always loved best, because this song was never meant to be a duet. The tears stream down your face, but you don’t bother to wipe them away; it won’t make them stop. Miley reaches for your hand, and her smile’s slightly watery, too. When the song ends, you jump to your feet to give her the standing ovation she deserves, and you notice Taylor now standing with Demi onstage. Two stools now grace center stage with their guitars next to them, and Taylor is almost physically supporting Demi as they walk toward them. Your eyes catch Miley’s, asking her the silent question plaguing your mind. She answers with a shake of her head, “don’t worry, just watch,” while she moves to Taylor’s seat next to you.
Taylor and Demi both start strumming acoustic guitars in perfect rhythm, humming along to the beat loud enough for the microphones to pick it up. This song sounds familiar, but you can’t place it. But when Demi starts to sing, there’s no denying Taylor’s work.
“Hey Lena, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you
As we walked we were talking and I didn’t say half the things I wanted to
Of all the ones tossing rocks at your window
I’ll be the one waiting there even when it’s cold
Hey Lena, girl you might have me believing I don’t always have to be alone,”
You feel yourself slowly getting into the rhythm and the drumbeat behind them, finally remembering this song. Taylor wrote it about one of the guys in Love and Theft, the band that opened on her last tour, about a year ago, maybe? You’re not sure, but you remember her huge crush on Stephen back then, and--oh my gosh. No...surely not...
“Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself,”
She didn’t even bother to change the lyric about kissing in the rain. But that doesn’t mean she meant it like that, does it? It can’t. Her eyes find yours and even from this distance, you can see love and pain and fear in them before finally looking away.
“Hey Lena, I’ve been holding back this feeling
So I’ve got some things to say to you
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen nobody shine the way you do
The way you walk the way you talk the way you say my name,”
Your heart drops during that lyric, because she uses her full vocal range for the first time. When she sings “say my name,” her voice soars, easily reaching the rafters.
“It’s beautiful, wonderful don’t you ever change
Hey Lena, why are people always leaving I think you and I should stay the same,”
Naturally. Everything and everyone else can change except you. You can’t help but wonder if she’s thinking about you always leaving for different movie shoots. You don’t like leaving her any more than she does, but it’s necessary. You both know that.
“Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself
They’re dimming the street lights, you’re perfect for me
Why aren’t you here tonight?
I’m waiting alone now so come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine,”
At this your heart finally snaps in half. She seems broken in a way she hasn’t in a while, and the resurgence of that need to hold her, comfort her, love her scares you more than anything. Maybe that’s exactly what she wants, exactly what you both need.
“Hey Lena, I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
All those other ones, well they’re beautiful but would they write a song for you,”
Instantly you’re laughing again, because you know she’s written at least one song for you. You’re beginning to suspect, however, that there’s a few more you’ve never heard. You know several didn’t make either your album or hers for that very reason.
“I can’t help it if you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself
If you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself
Myself, can’t help myself
I can’t help myself.”
You applaud with everyone else, but your mind isn’t really here anymore. It’s wandering through its own minefields, wondering what Demi might mean by this. The only possibility that you don’t seriously consider is the one you want most, for her to return what you feel. That’d make so many dreams come true, but crush so many others. Dreams your parents hold for you, ones you always held for yourself. You can’t let them down. You can’t let Demi down, and kill her dreams, too. Her voice is too beautiful, her soul such a beautiful mess, and the creativity can’t stay trapped inside. It’ll kill her. Suddenly a hand makes its way onto your shoulder, and you jump from the fright.
“Oh gosh, Taylor, you scared me to death,” you offer a slight smile, the best you can muster up. Taylor’s eyes search yours, and you can’t identify the swirling emotions in those all-knowing blue eyes. You look up and Miley and Demi are nowhere to be seen, a frightening thought. You hear music again and look up at Jonathan beginning to play “She’s a Lady.” Tonight’s not going to be a duet, you’re just not up for it. You get into it a little more, and notice Taylor looking up with a large smile while Jonathan looks toward your table. You give him a wink and turn to Taylor, whose attention now is back on you.
“So you gonna talk about it, or do I have to play 20 Questions with you?” she asks bluntly. She’s spending too much time around Miley. “Talk about what?” At least you can hang onto the denial a little bit longer..or not. Her eyes narrow dangerously, and you can almost hear the wheels turning in her mind, even under the cover of the music.
“C’mon, Lena, you’ve gotta talk about it at some point,” she pleads, instantly returning to the Taylor you know. “I saw it in your eyes, the way you watched her while we were onstage. Do you know how much I’ve always wanted someone to sing me a love song?” You vaguely register Forever the Sickest Kids beginning their “Love Story” remix.
“H-How m-much do you know, Tay?” you stutter, suddenly afraid of the answer from your best friend. “Did Demi say anything to you about this?”
Taylor’s eyes fill with tears, shining an even brighter blue. “I know that she loves you almost as much as you love her, Selena.” Your jaw drops slightly and you can’t help the small sob that escapes. Her arms pull you close, and it all starts spilling out. “I can’t do this, Taylor, not to everyone we know, not to our families, not to Demi, I just can’t.”
She strokes your hair softly, murmuring reassurances while the sobs slowly subside. “I’m so glad you barred the press,” you mumble, and she laughs lightly. “I missed the boys’ performances.”
“It’s okay. Backstage Jonathan told me to tell you that he loves you no matter what, okay?” You nod a little, head still on her shoulder. “No, look at me Selena,” her hand tilts your chin, just enough to meet her eyes. “He said that he loves you no matter what. No matter what you do,” her eyes close for a second, then stare into yours with an intensity that you rarely see. “No matter who you love. I love you no matter who you love, no matter who you are. Selena, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Both you and Demi, and it’s obvious that you’re only really happy with each other.” She reaches for your hand. “C’mon, let’s go catch Metro Station.” Her wink gives you hope, even as you roll your eyes at the mention of Trace, and you follow her out onto the dance floor.
The guys kick in and you let go, dancing your heart out to “Shake It.” Taylor moves next to you, and from the corner of your eye you see Demi and Dallas dancing. You ache to dance with Demi, her hands on your hips guiding you to the beat, holding you close to the rhythm of your pounding hearts. You fall more in love with every movement, which you never thought possible. You also grow hotter by the minute, since she’s rather famous for her swivel hip mic stand dances. Demi left the crowd practically drooling at Bamboozle a few months back (yourself included, once the video posted online).
The beat changes slightly, the song shifting along with it. “Seventeen Forever,” for your seventeenth birthday. Surprisingly, a female voice starts the song. Your eyes snap to the stage, only to see Miley standing next to the big brother she idolizes, singing his song.
You keep dancing, all while focusing on the words. You are young and scared, and you know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that you’re one mistake away from devastating Demi forever. Miley’s blue-gray eyes find yours, and for once all mischief is gone. “You won’t be seventeen forever,” Miley sings, trying to persuade and remind you both.
The music winds down, and Miley announces to the crowd, “Alright, that’s it for us tonight! I wanna say thanks to everybody that came out tonight, to the folks here at Tower Theater for lettin’ us use this beautiful place, everyone that performed and helped put this whole thing together, and finally, Selena Gomez, for givin’ us the honor of knowin’ you and sharin’ your seventeenth birthday. Everybody have a safe trip home, and God bless!” Metro Station plays the song out while everyone shuffles their way out.
A hand appears on your arm, bringing you face to face with the smiling eyes of Miley Cyrus. Only, they’re not smiling now. They’re rapidly growing frustrated. “Hey Mile-”
“Nuh-uh,” she interrupts briskly, “You, me, car, now.” She drags you to the exits, stopping only for her purse. You walk down the green carpet again, flashbulbs in your eyes as they snap the opportunity to get you and Miley together. No doubt dozens of internet rumors will begin tonight, never a good thing. Especially because you know that when you get in that car, everything will change.
Pairing: Demi Lovato/Selena Gomez
POV: Selena
Rating/Word Count: PG-13/11,471 (both 1 & 2)
Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own either Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, or Selena Gomez, and none of the portrayed events should be taken as fact. They are fiction and never actually happened. No matter how much I wish they did. Other disclaimers are at my journal. This is a RPF femslash story, meaning about real people and two girls in a romantic relationship context. If either or both of those things bother you, this is not the story for you. Rating for mentions of self-harm.
A/N: This is a reposting from my journal, where this was originally posted and from where I'm transferring all my fic. If we are friends, then you can still read it here. Please be honest about what you think, good or bad. The songs in this chapter are "Unraveling" by Tyler Kyte and/or Alexz Johnson (from "Instant Star" season 3) and "Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift (with a few tweaks here and there). There will be some grammatical mistakes, but usually to emphasize dialogue, particularly with Miley. This chapter is broken into two parts, since apparently LJ is stupid and the chapter is too big. The story title is from the first lyric of "True Love" by Phil Wickham, and chapter titles are from "About A Girl" by The Academy Is. Huge thank you to arkeis for helping beta this thing, letscall_l for the inspiration to get off my ass and get it done, xcinamonx for introducing me to Picnik (where I made the story graphics), and everyone over at demi_selena for your encouragement and support.
Summary: Miley and Taylor work with Demi to pull off a surprise concert for Selena's seventeenth birthday while also trying to push Demi and Selena toward each other.
I'm Not In Love, 1/5
This Is Not My Heart, 2/5
I'm Not Gonna Waste These Words, 3/5
part one
You wake the next morning in your favorite way: in her arms, while she’s still asleep. A rare thing, really, since she always gets up before you because she takes forever to get ready. You smile upon seeing your hands, intertwined with her guitar-calloused ones, before pulling yours free and slowly rolling over, her arms still around you. She stirs, but just tightens her hold. Her eyelashes flutter and you imagine her waking you with butterfly kisses, stomach twisting with longing at the thought, and you chance a glance at the clock. It’s already 7:30, and you promised Mom that you’d meet her for breakfast at nine. It’s going to be a busy birthday: breakfast with Mom, lunch with Taylor, and tonight some kind of fancy family dinner with Taylor, Demi, Miley, and their families. They’re acting kinda secretive about it, but you know to get ready by seven tonight.
You boldly kiss her nose before pulling her arms away, attempting to slide out unnoticed. “S’lena?” she mumbles sleepily. So much for that plan. “I gotta get up, Dem, I’m meeting Mom for breakfast, okay?” She nods and rolls over onto her stomach, pulling all the blankets in with her. You stand up laughing, then lean over to kiss her temple. “I’ll be back later, okay?” She mumbles something indistinct and burrows further into the blankets. You knock on the bathroom door before heading in, and find Miley already awake, brushing her teeth. She waves at you in the mirror as you shut the door separating the shower and toilet from the rest of the bathroom. “Sel?”
“Yeah, Miles?” you call through the door. “Take first shower, I’ve gotta get Taylor up and rollin’, ’kay?” You laugh because it’ll take Miley the entire time to rouse Taylor. Probably a promise of coffee and Cracker Barrel, too. “Thanks. If she’s not up by the time I’m out, let me know so I can help.”
After you finish getting ready, you check on Demi (still asleep, but not for long, from the way she’s stirring) and Taylor (not even close to awake). You find the train whistle Miley keeps in her desk drawer, a souvenir from the Grand Ole Opry, and blow it hard. The loud sound startles her awake. “Taylor Alison Swift, get your lazy butt outta bed now!”
You walk outside to the waiting car, ignoring the paparazzi circling the Cyrus home like vultures. You find a little breakfast cafe and order coffee and quiche, something light since you’ll eat again with Taylor in a few hours. You love hanging out with just your mom because it reminds you of the old days, when you only had each other. While you’d never go back to the uncertainty of living in little apartments barely getting by, sometimes you miss being with just her in the small studio loft, when you were just Sel, not Selena Gomez, Disney’s next “it” girl. You leave together and do a bit of shopping before she drops you off at the diner where you’re meeting Taylor.
Right at 12:30, Taylor walks in, still a bit sluggish, and you can’t help but laugh. She’s wearing jeans, two layered shirts, and knee-high leather boots with her big leather bag, the remains of another white mocha frappuccino in her hand, which only makes you laugh harder. When you order she finally comes to life and you eat and sit giggling for hours, fully enjoying the randomness.
Around three you both head back to Miley’s and immediately start picking outfits. Demi walks through the front door just in time to hear the discussion, and you all head upstairs to look through dresses. After everyone’s advice, you each split up to get ready. Four of you in one bathroom either signals disaster or insane fun, probably both. Taylor’s innate organization and Miley’s internal schedule help everyone along, though. Demi wears the black somewhat-assymetrical dress from the “Hannah Montana” premiere (on your insistence), you wear the black polka dot dress you wore to the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Party, Taylor wears her black strapless rhinestone dress from Kellie’s video and her black boots, and Miley finally decided on her sparkly short black dress with the belt across it from the VMAs. Only when you all get in the bathroom together do you realize that you’ve each chosen a little black dress. Miley and Demi both make some crack about what the gossip blogs will say and everyone laughs for a good five minutes. Miley and Demi leave early, stopping by Demi’s to pick up something Miley left, and Dallas picks you and Taylor up together, claiming the ride over will be a good time for her to catch up with both of you.
Upon arriving, you realize it’s a theatre, not a restaurant, and Dallas and Taylor quickly run ahead, mumbling something about your cake. You prepare to walk in alone, until Big Rob walks up to escort you through the throngs of press. You give him a big hug, pleasantly surprised. He opens the door, and the sight literally takes your breath away.
Inside, green and black streamers hang everywhere with balloons floating around randomly. The red carpet Big Rob walked you down outside is actually green, and he leads you to an empty front center table inside the actual theater. A Converse high-top sneaker sits in the middle of the table, holding flowers and ribbons and sparkly aluminum stars, making a perfect (if unconventional) centerpiece. Chinese lanterns hang low all over the theater, creating an even more intimate feel and the china, simple white plates trimmed in black, feature name cards. The guests slowly enter the theater and you look around you and smile at the familiar names: Demi to your right, Taylor to your left, and Miley between them. It’s a small table, and you see other tables that seat six to eight. Soon the lights dim, and everyone cheers loudly.
“Hey guys, for those of you that don’t know me,” a scruffy-haired blonde guy says, emerging onstage. Your smile grows wide, unable to believe he’s really here. “My name’s Jonathan, and I’m in a band called Forever the Sickest Kids.” He grins somewhat shyly before continuing. “I just want to welcome you guys to Tower Theater, and say thank you to all the awesome people that keep this place going for allowing us to party here tonight. We’re gonna hang out and have fun, all in honor of little sister, miss Selena Gomez!” At this everyone cheers, and you obey Jonathan’s gestures for you to stand, turning to wave at everyone behind you. You see the faces of about a hundred people closest to you, mainly friends and coworkers.
“Tonight y’all are in for a great time, because we’ve got a night full of dancing, food, and music! Sit back, or even better, get up and dance, to this next song, and wish little miss Selenita a happy seventeenth birthday! Take it away, girls!”
The old-fashioned stage curtains roll back to reveal your three closest friends, looking for all the world like the fiercest performers the 1980s could offer. Demi opens the song with the ever-familiar chords, much more electric than the original, and you laugh because this has Miley written all over it. You told her she was crazy for covering this song, but now you could smack yourself because of course “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” fits her perfectly. Taylor plays the baby grand with her usual intensity, and Miley prances around crazily on stage. But this time all three of them sing instead of just Miley, and they glow with an infectious joy. When the song ends, with three matching vocal hitches that easily rival Cyndi Lauper, you’re the first on your feet.
Miley and Demi sit down beside you, leaving Taylor alone onstage. She talks about how much she loves being your friend, and some of your silly rituals when one of you is sad or lonely. She plays “Fearless” while you sing along to every word, and you notice Miley and Demi doing the same. Demi catches your eye and smiles, her eyes dancing and when the song ends, she pulls you up into her arms. Taylor begins her next song, “I’m Only Me When I’m With You,” and you enjoy the feel of Demi spinning you while you dance together. When both sit down at the end of the song, you notice Miley once again join Taylor onstage. The familiar acoustic chords play and you’re taken back to a cool February night that feels like forever ago. “Fifteen” haunts you like always, and Miley nails it even better than at the Grammy’s. Fortunately Taylor’s tour has made her confront the emotions of this song, so she holds it together better than she did then. You love the last verse because you’ve hung out with Abigail (who’s probably even crazier than Miley), and you can’t imagine some boy breaking her heart. Taylor’s always there to clean up what others leave behind. You hope, with all your heart, that she’ll find someone that’s everything she’s dreamed of and written about, and you’ll never have to patch another Jonas-induced broken heart. For either of them.
Her voice still catches when she sings Abi’s verse, and Miley’s eyes still shine slightly when she sings about realizing bigger dreams than marrying the boy. You love seeing them perform together, and how their unlikely bond is connected to the song that’s come to mean so much to so many, yourself included. Life changed forever for both you and Demi at fifteen, and anything normal disappeared somewhere between Dallas and LA. Unlike Taylor, and more recently Miley, you’re still fighting through it all. You jump up to intercept Taylor when she comes down and hold on for a few moments, whispering your gratitude in her ear. She yanks Demi up, and you all dance along to “7 Things.”
What used to be an awkward song is just another fun one, and you think of it the same way you think of Taylor’s songs: a snapshot in time of emotion and reflection. Really, that’s how it looked from Miley’s perspective, so no wonder she freaked out. It didn’t last longer than a week between you, but it blew up for months in the press, until the Teen Choice Awards. Miley gears up for “See U Again,” and she actually comes down to dance with the three of you. Suddenly the moment looks just like any other girlfriends at a club dancing together, and that realization gives you a peace that you’ve lacked for a while. She substitutes “Lena” for “Leslie” in the chorus, and you smile so widely that your face hurts. She dances a bit with each of you, then runs crazy around the stage (like always), all in a blur until she’s with you again at the end of the song. She gives you a side hug while grabbing Demi and yanking her along at breakneck speed.
Both of them stand onstage together, laughing and grinning madly, looking slightly crazed. It’s only now that you recognize that they both have the same mischievous smile. No wonder they became such fast friends; they’re so much alike. Miley picks up her Daisy Rock electric, while Demi takes center stage. She picks up her guitar, this time the red Gibson, and stands in her usual rocker pose, waiting for the band to kick in. You’ve never seen anything hotter in your life, and suddenly the theater feels like an August night back home in Texas with no air conditioning. Taylor takes in your flushed face and eyeballs you, mouthing, “You okay?” You nod numbly and turn back to the stage, and the drums kick up right when Demi strikes the first chord, which you instantly recognize as “Party.” Your jaw drops in shock. Sure, Demi plays guitar amazingly well, but she’s not able to do it on all her songs, all the way through just yet. You’ve never seen her sing and play this song live (for real, not just goofing around at Miley’s). It’s difficult at best, so you know she’s put a lot into it, and try hard to catch her eyes. When you finally do, there’s not a hint of nervousness there, only complete confidence and a slight cockiness. Now she’s just showing off for you at your party. Having Miley behind her and Miley’s drummer for the night (so Taylor informs you) probably helps a lot.
Her eyes lock on yours nearly the entire time, probably because she’s not used to seeing you front and center; you usually stay backstage at her shows. There’s a different feel to the air tonight, a different tension or energy or something you can’t quite place. At “one by one we’re stealing the stage,” her eyes cut quickly to Miley, and they both grin maniacally yet again. You finally start dancing and already Taylor’s completely let go, hair swaying wildly while you sing along and lose yourself in the song. Demi usually walks around a lot onstage, so it’s no surprise when she inches closer to the edge in front of you. When she sings “wave your hands in the air” not only do you move away from Taylor’s wild waving arms, you come so close to the stage you can almost touch it. Demi waves to indicate what she wants, and gives you no choice but to comply. She swings her guitar back a bit and extends her hand, which you take as she pulls you onstage. She brings her guitar back around and you lean into her right side, grab the mic stand and sing along, “all dolled up with nowhere to go, wanna get out and put on a show; there’s nothin’ wrong with stayin’ home as long as you’ve got your radio.”
It’s sweat and electricity and that tension again, stronger than ever before, onstage beside her. Your quarter-sleeved dress is suddenly the worst idea in the world, especially since she’s moving her hips in ways you never even knew possible. Her lips are slightly chapped but still pouty and full while she puts her all into this performance. You listen to the lyrics you’re both singing, realizing that they speak a little too much truth right now, and you only hope she’s not finding clues in anything tonight. She raises her hands for a moment to clap along while only the drums play, and then takes full control once more. Finally the song ends, and you both scream-sing, “let’s do it again!” simultaneously to thunderous applause. Taylor runs up onstage excitedly, practically squealing, and grabs the microphone.
“Well, I bet these three are worn out after that incredible performance, so I’ll make this announcement. There’s a big ole spread of food and such back toward the back of the theater, and right now we’re gonna have an intermission to let everyone breathe again,” she laughs, looking at us all. “There’s all kinds of stuff, plus we’ve got the return of the popcorn bar this year, with all the toppings, so go enjoy it, and we’ll get back to the fun in a little while. Hope you’re all having fun!”
You finally get your breathing under control, then grab Taylor and Demi and yank them alongside you to get to the popcorn bar. Pickle juice is practically calling your name right now. Anything to calm your nerves, and slow down the adrenaline from that last song. You look over to the candy table (wait, a whole table of candy?!) and see three very familiar little girls. Noah and Maddie stand there goofing around like normal, and really, mini-Demi and mini-Miley hyped out on that much candy? Heaven help Hollywood. But beside them, the little girl with dark blonde hair, turns and catches your eye. “Selena!”
“Joey! What’re you doing here?” You open your arms wide and she runs into them at full speed. You’ve missed her more than you’ve ever missed anyone besides Demi. Joey basically became your little sister in Canada, and you’ve missed the way she effortlessly brightens your day. But it’s late, where’s her family?
“Hayley’s in line for food,” she giggles, noticing how your eyes sweep the theater. “Gosh, Selena, you really think they’d let me come by myself?”
“No,” you laugh back, “I just wanted to make sure.” Joey’s eyes roll slightly, because this behavior is nothing new. You hate taking bodyguards anywhere you don’t have to, and in Puerto Rico there wasn’t much need, not like here in LA. Either way, you always took one when Joey went anywhere with you, even just to Starbucks; you watch over her like a hawk. She didn’t need to see some of the things you’ve seen in this business, not when she’s only nine, and so innocent still.
She looks up at you wide-eyed, and says, “I’ve never heard you sing like that before.” “That was so cool!” She gushes, face breaking into a large smile. “How come you never let me see you sing that one?”
You slide your arm around her and listen to her chatter, “oh, and the way you both looked at each other on the last line was so cool! Kinda like you always taught me, letting you feelings show while you act and perform. You look really pretty tonight, Selena.” She bats her little eyes and you’re absolutely speechless. Does she even know what she’s saying? Knowing her, probably.
“Th-thank you sweetie,” you stutter, knowing your face is probably really pale right now, “but what last part of the song did you mean?”
“The part where it goes, ‘the way you make me move.’ It looked so cool, you looking each other up and down and dancing and leaning into each other the whole time. I know you missed her a whole lot when we were in Canada, ’cause you were always so sad. But know what? I think she missed you, too.” She beams at you while you try to not fall apart. Really, what do you say, and where do you even start?
“Yeah, she did,” you whisper, almost to yourself. You shake yourself back to the moment, and the little girl looking up at you expectantly. “So,” you smirk deviously, “you ever seen a popcorn bar before?” She shakes her head, and you pull her further into your side. “Well, we need to change that. When we were little, me and Demi used to make something really special, and I’ll show you how when we get over there. But real food first, okay?” Joey rolls her eyes again, still smiling, and you find the food. There’s a little of everything, and you pile up a plate. Finally, you walk her to the popcorn bar and make bags for you both. The popcorn toppings line up along the bar, just like the sauce bottles and sprinkle shakers at an ice cream stand. There’s everything from butter to M&Ms to caramel, and finally, pickle juice. Joey’s face is priceless when she sees you apply tons of it. She sticks to caramel and turns her nose at your concoction.
You offer to let her sit with you, but she decides to go back to Hayley (and Noah and Maddie, sitting nearby). You go back to your own table, pleasantly surprised to see both Taylor and Miley already there. This might take a while, since Miley can eat nearly any teenage boy under the table and Taylor’s not too far behind her. Sure enough, between them there’s four heaping plates, and a massive bowl with nearly every type of candy. You just shake your head and laugh. You don’t see Demi anywhere, but she’s probably just doing something backstage. You look around and notice a few of the “Wizards” crew members are on the dance floor, goofing around to the music playing in the background. Everyone really seems to enjoy this, and you can’t believe they came up with this when all you told Demi was that some kind of concert would be fun. You’re starting in on the pickle juice popcorn when you feel Demi slide in next to you.
“Hey Miles, you gonna save some for the rest of us?” She snickers while Miley sneers. Demi didn’t bring any food over, so you hand her your popcorn. She takes a couple handfuls before sliding it back to you, laughing the whole time. “Having fun, Lena?” You nod and lean into the shoulder and arm that’s found its way to the back of your chair.
“Yeah, I am,” you shift slightly to meet her eyes, “thank you. Actually,” you tilt back to look at Miley and Taylor, “I want to thank all of you, for doing all this. I just...you guys are my best friends, and it means a lot to me that you’d go to all this trouble for me, put your lives on hold to put this together. Really, just, thank you.” You bury your face into Demi’s shoulder, trying to hide the tears. Her hand runs through your hair for a moment before pulling away and facing you. “So, what’s up next?” You ask, smile back in place.
Demi looks quickly to Miley and Taylor, then back to you. “Well, there’s a bit of a change to the setlist, but you’ll have to wait to find out.” She grins deviously again, and you smile back. Miley, on the other hand, has her typical raised eyebrow, folded arms look of death. Taylor doesn’t look too excited, either. What’s going on here?
“Guys,” Demi huffs, annoyance emanating from her voice, “it’s just an addition; I didn’t take anything out. They’re going first after intermission, then back to the original setlist. Stop freaking out.” They seem to visibly relax, but Miley’s eyes remain skeptical. Really, though, that’s nothing new. Throughout the rest of the intermission various people stop by to give their own birthday wishes, including Jen Stone, Alyson Stoner, and Demi’s friend Jac Vanek. The best, however, is when the Hayley Williams comes by for a few minutes to wish you a happy birthday. She explains that Paramore had a concert tonight in LA, but Miley told her that you were a big fan and so Hayley wanted to come see you. When Hayley leaves, you see Miley and Demi high-five behind you, with wide smiles. Suddenly you hear microphone static, and everyone faces the stage.
“Hey everyone.” On stage stands a young guy with shaggy brown hair, a red plaid shirt that doesn’t quite cover his tattoos, a sideways trucker hat, baggy jeans, and skater shoes. He’s always fun to have around, and you laugh not knowing what they’re planning at all. “My name’s Jonas, and I’m the drummer for Selena’s band (when she lets me be).” Everyone laughs as your face flushes, but your smile only grows wider, if possible. “We’re here because we wanna say ‘happy birthday’ to our lead singer-” the clapping interrupts him for a moment, then he continues. “So we also wanted to give you your birthday gift. We got a call from the label today, and talked to Demi backstage earlier, who agreed that it’d be more fun to tell you in person.” He pauses for a moment and Demi reaches for your hand, calming you while you anxiously await Jonah’s news.
Jonas smiles larger than you’ve ever seen, and turns to look at the rest of the band behind him for a moment before facing the crowd and finding your eyes. “Gomez, they green-lighted ‘Unraveling’ for the first single.”
You jump up screaming before you even realize it, and Demi releases your hand. Taylor hugs you, jumping around the same way, followed by Miley (a bit calmer, but still grinning). Demi captures you in her arms and holds you there, whispering, “I’m so proud of you.” She pushes you toward the stage, and you hug all the guys once you get there. Only when you’re standing next to Jonas do you realize he’s got more up his sleeve.
“So we got an idea and we asked and got it approved, and we’re totally not gonna make you,” he rambles into the mic, scratching his neck nervously, “but we wondered if you’d like to show off a little tonight. You know, since you already sang once...”
You stare at him in shock, emotions threatening to take over. You want to, so much, but you’re afraid to let everyone see you so vulnerable. But you know they want to hear it, because you’ve been so secretive with this song in particular. Nobody’s heard the whole thing; even Demi only heard the last bridge. You gradually become aware of everyone chanting your name. Mind made up, you reach for the mic to thunderous applause.
“Alright then, let’s do this.” Your giggle bounces off the theater walls, eyes scanning the crowd. “But first, I want to say thank you all for coming out tonight, and enjoying my seventeenth birthday with me. It’s been the best birthday in a long time, and I also want to give a huge thank you to Taylor, Miley, and Demi for putting it all together.” Everyone applauds and cheers loudly again, and you join them for a moment. “Thanks guys, for being there when I need someone to laugh with, cry with, or plot revenge schemes with.” You meet three vastly different sets of eyes while everyone else laughs.
“So this song’s now officially the first single off the album, which comes out in September. Behind me’s Jonas (who you already met), Micah on bass, Liam on electric, and Jude on keyboards,” you suck in a deep breath before continuing, “and my name’s Selena. The song’s called ‘Unraveling’ and it’s the one I fought the hardest for, and basically the one that means the most to me. I wrote it during filming for the “Wizards” movie, and everything I’d felt for over a year just poured out. I fought for it to make the album, and it was so worth it. This is for my friends, and anyone else that’s ever watched their whole world shatter at their feet. This is ‘Unraveling’.”
You hear Liam’s opening chords and suddenly a calm washes over you, just like Demi promised. You stare into her eyes a few seconds too long before closing yours to focus your courage. Too low for anyone else to hear, you murmur, “this is for you.”
“I’ve been walking through the ruins
Of my life and times
Seems like everything is sinking right in front of my eyes
I’ve been asking all the questions,”
Your eyes snap open when Micah slams in right on cue, bringing your song to life.
“But nothing’s coming back
Now I’m trying to keep myself from slipping through the cracks
Where is my faith?
How did I get this far?
Who do I blame when it all falls apart?”
You slide the microphone out and swing the stand backward behind you, the music building inside, into a crushing force that wants, no, needs, to break free.
“Maybe the moon’s just a hole in the sky
One day at a time, my world is shattering
Maybe the answer’s to never ask why
As I watch my life unraveling
Unraveling
I don’t know who to turn to
And I wonder who’s a friend,”
You let go of the mic stand and run your now-free hand through your curly hair (Demi’s favorite way to fix it) before pulling it down and balling it into a fist, the only visible sign of the desperation you lived with daily.
“Out of everyone I trusted to be there till the end
I’m running out of reasons for putting up a fight,”
Your eyes drift to Taylor and Miley, because it’s their song nearly as much as it is Demi’s. Especially your next words.
“Trying to drag another lost soul back into the light
How can I heal so many broken hearts?
And who’s there for me when it all falls apart?”
Okay, so the girls are there for you, Taylor more so lately because you can’t talk to Demi about love issues. You just can’t. Miley would be, too, if you let her. Sometimes she is anyway, whether you want her there or not. But lately, you’ve never felt more alone.
“Maybe the moon’s just a hole in the sky
One day at a time, my world is shattering
Maybe the answer’s to never ask why
As I watch my life unraveling
Unraveling
We were so strong when we started
Something went wrong
And all the things that mattered somehow got away
Away”
You wonder if, somewhere between the move from Dallas and the various rumors, you lost the beautiful little dreamers you once were, if you lost yourselves. You scan the faces of everyone in the theater, wondering, almost asking, if you’ll ever get that back.
“Maybe the moon’s just a hole in the sky
One day at a time, my world is shattering
Maybe the answer’s to never ask why
As I watch my life unraveling
As I watch my life unraveling,”
You let go of the mic and grab drumsticks to play right by Jonas on the most fun part.
“Unraveling
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time
Gonna watch it unwind
One day at a time.”
Your eyes flutter shut for just a second, enough to calm down and slide on the smile. Loud screams and applause greet your ears, and a standing ovation greets your eyes when you open them. The smile stays forgotten in favor of shock. “Thank you,” you whisper into Jonas’ microphone, and walk offstage into your friends’ waiting arms.
They all congratulate you, but you notice Demi doesn’t quite meet your eyes. She pulls away quickly, something about needing to go. Taylor takes you by the arm, leading back to the table with Miley trailing behind. You get settled again when a noise onstage draws your attention, and you catch a breathtaking sight: Demi sitting at the piano, flawlessly beautiful. She adjusts the microphone and turns to face the crowd, to face you.
“Several of you know that I’ve like, written more songs than I can even count,” she giggles, and even now you remember her messy bedroom covered in scraps of songs and drawings all over the floor. “But neither of the songs I’m singing tonight are mine. Well, the first one is, but I mean like...it’s not one that I wrote. But it should be. Even though I did this song for a movie, it like, describes my life so perfectly. I always worked so hard to go after my dreams, but all my insecurities held me back. I like, never really thought I’d make it, that we’d make it, but we did. Thanks to you,” she turns her eyes slightly to find yours, and holds them there, dropping any pretense of talking to anyone but you.
“I’ve finally found myself...this person you always knew I could be,” her voice rasps slightly, exhaustion and emotion beginning to overwhelm her, “even when I was a broken mess just trying to keep from falling apart. Even when I couldn’t believe in myself, you believed in me. Your voice is the one I hear in my head, the one that pushes back the darkness and the pain. You’re the reason I’m sitting on this stage, that I have this life, and you’ve always been the reason that I sing. God, you’re like, everything to me, Selena, and you’re the reason that, finally, this is me.”
With that her fingers gracefully move across the keys, like God created them for that reason alone. She sings the now-familiar song in the haunting acoustic style that you always loved best, because this song was never meant to be a duet. The tears stream down your face, but you don’t bother to wipe them away; it won’t make them stop. Miley reaches for your hand, and her smile’s slightly watery, too. When the song ends, you jump to your feet to give her the standing ovation she deserves, and you notice Taylor now standing with Demi onstage. Two stools now grace center stage with their guitars next to them, and Taylor is almost physically supporting Demi as they walk toward them. Your eyes catch Miley’s, asking her the silent question plaguing your mind. She answers with a shake of her head, “don’t worry, just watch,” while she moves to Taylor’s seat next to you.
Taylor and Demi both start strumming acoustic guitars in perfect rhythm, humming along to the beat loud enough for the microphones to pick it up. This song sounds familiar, but you can’t place it. But when Demi starts to sing, there’s no denying Taylor’s work.
“Hey Lena, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you
As we walked we were talking and I didn’t say half the things I wanted to
Of all the ones tossing rocks at your window
I’ll be the one waiting there even when it’s cold
Hey Lena, girl you might have me believing I don’t always have to be alone,”
You feel yourself slowly getting into the rhythm and the drumbeat behind them, finally remembering this song. Taylor wrote it about one of the guys in Love and Theft, the band that opened on her last tour, about a year ago, maybe? You’re not sure, but you remember her huge crush on Stephen back then, and--oh my gosh. No...surely not...
“Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself,”
She didn’t even bother to change the lyric about kissing in the rain. But that doesn’t mean she meant it like that, does it? It can’t. Her eyes find yours and even from this distance, you can see love and pain and fear in them before finally looking away.
“Hey Lena, I’ve been holding back this feeling
So I’ve got some things to say to you
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen nobody shine the way you do
The way you walk the way you talk the way you say my name,”
Your heart drops during that lyric, because she uses her full vocal range for the first time. When she sings “say my name,” her voice soars, easily reaching the rafters.
“It’s beautiful, wonderful don’t you ever change
Hey Lena, why are people always leaving I think you and I should stay the same,”
Naturally. Everything and everyone else can change except you. You can’t help but wonder if she’s thinking about you always leaving for different movie shoots. You don’t like leaving her any more than she does, but it’s necessary. You both know that.
“Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself
They’re dimming the street lights, you’re perfect for me
Why aren’t you here tonight?
I’m waiting alone now so come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine,”
At this your heart finally snaps in half. She seems broken in a way she hasn’t in a while, and the resurgence of that need to hold her, comfort her, love her scares you more than anything. Maybe that’s exactly what she wants, exactly what you both need.
“Hey Lena, I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
All those other ones, well they’re beautiful but would they write a song for you,”
Instantly you’re laughing again, because you know she’s written at least one song for you. You’re beginning to suspect, however, that there’s a few more you’ve never heard. You know several didn’t make either your album or hers for that very reason.
“I can’t help it if you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself
If you look like an angel
Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you
Can’t help it if there’s no one else
I can’t help myself
Myself, can’t help myself
I can’t help myself.”
You applaud with everyone else, but your mind isn’t really here anymore. It’s wandering through its own minefields, wondering what Demi might mean by this. The only possibility that you don’t seriously consider is the one you want most, for her to return what you feel. That’d make so many dreams come true, but crush so many others. Dreams your parents hold for you, ones you always held for yourself. You can’t let them down. You can’t let Demi down, and kill her dreams, too. Her voice is too beautiful, her soul such a beautiful mess, and the creativity can’t stay trapped inside. It’ll kill her. Suddenly a hand makes its way onto your shoulder, and you jump from the fright.
“Oh gosh, Taylor, you scared me to death,” you offer a slight smile, the best you can muster up. Taylor’s eyes search yours, and you can’t identify the swirling emotions in those all-knowing blue eyes. You look up and Miley and Demi are nowhere to be seen, a frightening thought. You hear music again and look up at Jonathan beginning to play “She’s a Lady.” Tonight’s not going to be a duet, you’re just not up for it. You get into it a little more, and notice Taylor looking up with a large smile while Jonathan looks toward your table. You give him a wink and turn to Taylor, whose attention now is back on you.
“So you gonna talk about it, or do I have to play 20 Questions with you?” she asks bluntly. She’s spending too much time around Miley. “Talk about what?” At least you can hang onto the denial a little bit longer..or not. Her eyes narrow dangerously, and you can almost hear the wheels turning in her mind, even under the cover of the music.
“C’mon, Lena, you’ve gotta talk about it at some point,” she pleads, instantly returning to the Taylor you know. “I saw it in your eyes, the way you watched her while we were onstage. Do you know how much I’ve always wanted someone to sing me a love song?” You vaguely register Forever the Sickest Kids beginning their “Love Story” remix.
“H-How m-much do you know, Tay?” you stutter, suddenly afraid of the answer from your best friend. “Did Demi say anything to you about this?”
Taylor’s eyes fill with tears, shining an even brighter blue. “I know that she loves you almost as much as you love her, Selena.” Your jaw drops slightly and you can’t help the small sob that escapes. Her arms pull you close, and it all starts spilling out. “I can’t do this, Taylor, not to everyone we know, not to our families, not to Demi, I just can’t.”
She strokes your hair softly, murmuring reassurances while the sobs slowly subside. “I’m so glad you barred the press,” you mumble, and she laughs lightly. “I missed the boys’ performances.”
“It’s okay. Backstage Jonathan told me to tell you that he loves you no matter what, okay?” You nod a little, head still on her shoulder. “No, look at me Selena,” her hand tilts your chin, just enough to meet her eyes. “He said that he loves you no matter what. No matter what you do,” her eyes close for a second, then stare into yours with an intensity that you rarely see. “No matter who you love. I love you no matter who you love, no matter who you are. Selena, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Both you and Demi, and it’s obvious that you’re only really happy with each other.” She reaches for your hand. “C’mon, let’s go catch Metro Station.” Her wink gives you hope, even as you roll your eyes at the mention of Trace, and you follow her out onto the dance floor.
The guys kick in and you let go, dancing your heart out to “Shake It.” Taylor moves next to you, and from the corner of your eye you see Demi and Dallas dancing. You ache to dance with Demi, her hands on your hips guiding you to the beat, holding you close to the rhythm of your pounding hearts. You fall more in love with every movement, which you never thought possible. You also grow hotter by the minute, since she’s rather famous for her swivel hip mic stand dances. Demi left the crowd practically drooling at Bamboozle a few months back (yourself included, once the video posted online).
The beat changes slightly, the song shifting along with it. “Seventeen Forever,” for your seventeenth birthday. Surprisingly, a female voice starts the song. Your eyes snap to the stage, only to see Miley standing next to the big brother she idolizes, singing his song.
You keep dancing, all while focusing on the words. You are young and scared, and you know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that you’re one mistake away from devastating Demi forever. Miley’s blue-gray eyes find yours, and for once all mischief is gone. “You won’t be seventeen forever,” Miley sings, trying to persuade and remind you both.
The music winds down, and Miley announces to the crowd, “Alright, that’s it for us tonight! I wanna say thanks to everybody that came out tonight, to the folks here at Tower Theater for lettin’ us use this beautiful place, everyone that performed and helped put this whole thing together, and finally, Selena Gomez, for givin’ us the honor of knowin’ you and sharin’ your seventeenth birthday. Everybody have a safe trip home, and God bless!” Metro Station plays the song out while everyone shuffles their way out.
A hand appears on your arm, bringing you face to face with the smiling eyes of Miley Cyrus. Only, they’re not smiling now. They’re rapidly growing frustrated. “Hey Mile-”
“Nuh-uh,” she interrupts briskly, “You, me, car, now.” She drags you to the exits, stopping only for her purse. You walk down the green carpet again, flashbulbs in your eyes as they snap the opportunity to get you and Miley together. No doubt dozens of internet rumors will begin tonight, never a good thing. Especially because you know that when you get in that car, everything will change.