(no subject)
So, in less than a month...my car has had $1,000 worth of damage to it. Can I mention that I've only had it for a year and month? Getting really sick of this crap, really fast. And it's not like I'm even doing anything wrong while I'm driving. Other people have caused the damage. The only thing I can figure is that I'm creating tons of negative "karma." I just can't seem to learn my lesson that the universe is trying so brutally to teach me. Oh well. Maybe after I move I'll be able to listen better...or at all.
Work tomorrow. I hate doing this job. I literally cry if I think about it too much.
My mom said something stupid today about how "when her kids are on the verge of a breakdown she jumps in and does what she has to do." Of course this was in reference to something involving my brother. I was exceptionally mad because my response in my head was, "then why am I suicidal and no one knows about it?" She's always babied my brother more than me. And now he's off living a life much more interesting and fulfilling than I ever will know. I hate how she even supports his relationships. She'll say stuff about who he's dating and how great it is as though I've had normal relationships or a relationship at all. I just want to scream "FUCK YOU" at her and never speak to her again most times. Too bad I'm stuck living with her until I find a real job again. Could prove hazardous to both our healths. And even then I'm screwed because this time around I'll have student loans to pay on top of everything else. Which means moving out is that much more difficult than the last time. ...if it weren't for insanely and dishonestly high interest rates on credit I'd be in better shape financially. As it stands now I wouldn't be able to handle a single additional bill outside of rent, car, car insurance and utilities. Did you see student loans included in there? Nope. Me neither.
Well, I best get going for now...effin' stupid ass job...
Work tomorrow. I hate doing this job. I literally cry if I think about it too much.
My mom said something stupid today about how "when her kids are on the verge of a breakdown she jumps in and does what she has to do." Of course this was in reference to something involving my brother. I was exceptionally mad because my response in my head was, "then why am I suicidal and no one knows about it?" She's always babied my brother more than me. And now he's off living a life much more interesting and fulfilling than I ever will know. I hate how she even supports his relationships. She'll say stuff about who he's dating and how great it is as though I've had normal relationships or a relationship at all. I just want to scream "FUCK YOU" at her and never speak to her again most times. Too bad I'm stuck living with her until I find a real job again. Could prove hazardous to both our healths. And even then I'm screwed because this time around I'll have student loans to pay on top of everything else. Which means moving out is that much more difficult than the last time. ...if it weren't for insanely and dishonestly high interest rates on credit I'd be in better shape financially. As it stands now I wouldn't be able to handle a single additional bill outside of rent, car, car insurance and utilities. Did you see student loans included in there? Nope. Me neither.
Well, I best get going for now...effin' stupid ass job...