banana's and cocunuts
Alrighty. Hello again. Rather soon to make a new entry I know, but I had something on my mind. My family isn't all that wealthy. I know it's selfish, but it's only human nature to want more. I am actually very Very VERY fortunate to have what I do. There are people much worse off as cliche as that sounds. I have a friend on myspace. I largely look up to him. Not just because he is a rather very awesome guy. Almost perfect even, but like, 29 now. xDD; He's way cool. He goes by the name Esca, and he is like the epitome of what I want in a guy if I ever find one. xD He's really geeky, but at the same time a gentleman and pretty darned gorgeous. His life growing up was dreadful. But he overcame it and is now living quite well off. *jealous*
So Anywho. As I was saying. Both my parents are unemployed due to disability. So we basically live off of welfare. My dad's health is very poor and I constantly worry that one of these days he's not going to wake up from his sleep. I'm not just afraid because I love him a lot but also because I don't know what we'd do without him. He's the one that runs our family's life. Taxes, bills, etc etc. No one but him knows how to do it.
I have a lot. I have a tv in my room that I got back when I moved here to Iowa. It was a birthday present. I have a keyboard that I got back in third or fourth grade because I wanted to get in to piano. I do right now as well still want to learn the piano again, but we simply don't have the money or the resources right now. I have a computer even. The computer my dad bought for me when we got our income taxes or tax refund, whatever you call that day you get your taxes repaid. My dad is even going to get me a laptop possibly. Granted, the laptop is 50$ a month for the next four years and in those four years i'm not getting any birthday or christmas presents of any kind, I'm still ecstatic. I have A LOT more than any girl in my financial situation should have. I'm doing detasseling this summer so hopefully I can get schoolclothes. You have no idea how much I want new schoolclothes. I mean...I am very very very grateful for what I have. But I go to a public school, and whenever I am truly proud of who I am and what I look like, I go there and it all falls apart. Everyone else has so much more than I do and when I see them I just feel dirt poor again. I hate it. I almost hate myself. My stupid life. Maybe if I were one of those underdogs in movies and stories. But I have nothing. I'm not only poor, but ugly. Every part of me is just unattractive. My natural tan isn't even right. I always look dirty and gross. I can never do anything with my hair and my skin is horrid. My body is disproportioned and thanks to stress, I even have belly flub. As much as I wish I looked different, I wouldn't pay for any surgery. I am hoping to go through life without needing surgery or as little as possible if I can. God made me the way I am and though i'm not completely pleased with my physical appearance, i'm pleased with my personality and interests and such.
I have friends...I love my friends. Well, i'm at least grateful for them. I have one friend that I do love, and you know who you are. Not to say I don't love my other friends but they have so many bad quirks to them. I'll name one Amelia. Amelia is a good friend. But she doesn't like sleepovers. WHO DOESN'T LIKE SLEEPOVERS?! D: She likes to flaunt things, which I don't overly mind but still. She can be obnoxious at times. She's very self conscious and I don't blame her, as you can see I am too. But she's always fishing for compliments, which I usually don't mind but at that quantity it's just...jlsdf. She's also rather selfish... I try not to let it get to me; we're all selfish to an extent. But I don't know... I have another friend; Betty. Betty is great and all, but she can also seem rather obnoxious. Betty I know can't help it, but at times does kind of smell... she doesn't take care for a lot of personal hygiene. Betty complains a lot and can be horrifically stubborn. She doesn't have a lot of similar interests as me except for a couple genres. Japanese music, japan, anime, book genre's, and country music. I truly believe that is it. She's friendly and very entertaining to be around...she's just not a best friend. Another friend, let me call her Helga. She is as entertaining as Betty is. In fact, Betty and Helga are like one entitiy. I have the same problems with Helga that I do Betty. Except that Helga is worse in how stubborn and simple minded she is. She hates any thought of religion so it's taboo to mention it around her without expecting a smart remark or an arguement. And Jose...Jose and his friends Jake and Beavis are almost the same for me. Jose can just be a little simple minded. Jose complains a lot...and doesn't share a lot of interests with me. Probably because he is a boy. Just an obnoxious boy. Jake is alright, i've been friends with him since maybe 5th grade. It was funny since Jakes little sister always used to come up to me and say " my brother likes you" I never believed her for a second, because for one how would she find out. But apparently it was true since in 6th grade his then girlfriend jokingly informed me about it and about how he didn't like me anymore. xD Jake can also be rather immature and sometimes annoying. He can be nice though. He's favored a little over Jose, but I just flat out dislike Beavis. He annoys me. He's obnoxious. He is immature. He is stupid. Did I mention he was annoying? He irritates me down to the bone. Like i've mentioned several times, i'll put up with him, I might pity him, but I will never like him in the least.
My social standing at school is fine. I'd rather it was a bit higher, but i'm on good grounds with almost everyone there. I can't currently think of anyone I formally dislike, or anyone that currently dislikes me.
I don't need a significant other to be happy. I"ve well discerned that. As long as I have good friends for the rest of my life i'll be content. I made sure to believe that a while ago. Hopefully I can live by that because I probably wont get one any time soon for reasons already mentioned.
When I grow up I want to be some sort of IT...or a historian. I'm computer savvy if I do say so myself, and History fascinates me. I'm proud of my personality. I really am. I have some bad quirks like we all do, but for the most part. My humor, my music tastes, my fashion tastes, my tastes in culture and such i'm proud of.
Japan...it's a place I'm interested in. Lots of things about the culture are very interesting. Amusing and entertaining even. A given, anime and manga are entertaining. Japanese music and music from everywhere else i've listened to it is neat. I love music. The fads in Japan are also interesting, and everything about the culture. But as many pros to Japan that there are, there are just as many cons. The Japanese are a very odd bunch...whether it's the ridiculous fads like self mutilation, suicide, ganguro...the polytheism.... I don't know. As much as I love it, it confuses me. I also want to visit the Ukraine, not just for Chernobyl but for it's music and movies and culture and things. Same with Russia, France, and Great Britain. If I ever get married, I hope I will, but if I ever do, I hope I can be like Sarah Lane-Moran (I can't just call her Sarah Moran it feels weird. ) and Brendan, and travel the world. There are so many interesting places to see...I'd like to visit if I easily could; Canada, Great Britain, France, Italy, Greece, Ukraine, Czech Republic, Ukraine, Russia, South Korea, Japan, China, Australia, Egypt, Tanzania, Nigeria, Colombia, lots of different places. I remember when I was little and we learned about different cultures in Kindergarten, Asian places like China and Japan fascinated me, as well as Africa. I don't know why but there was something very alluring about their history's and cultures. If I ever have children I also want to have a boy and a girl. Get that experience. xD
That's all i'm going to write about I suppose...I can't think of anything else i'd like to elaborate on.
You Are 16% Capitalist, 84% Socialist
You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.
As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.
You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.
Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?
So Anywho. As I was saying. Both my parents are unemployed due to disability. So we basically live off of welfare. My dad's health is very poor and I constantly worry that one of these days he's not going to wake up from his sleep. I'm not just afraid because I love him a lot but also because I don't know what we'd do without him. He's the one that runs our family's life. Taxes, bills, etc etc. No one but him knows how to do it.
I have a lot. I have a tv in my room that I got back when I moved here to Iowa. It was a birthday present. I have a keyboard that I got back in third or fourth grade because I wanted to get in to piano. I do right now as well still want to learn the piano again, but we simply don't have the money or the resources right now. I have a computer even. The computer my dad bought for me when we got our income taxes or tax refund, whatever you call that day you get your taxes repaid. My dad is even going to get me a laptop possibly. Granted, the laptop is 50$ a month for the next four years and in those four years i'm not getting any birthday or christmas presents of any kind, I'm still ecstatic. I have A LOT more than any girl in my financial situation should have. I'm doing detasseling this summer so hopefully I can get schoolclothes. You have no idea how much I want new schoolclothes. I mean...I am very very very grateful for what I have. But I go to a public school, and whenever I am truly proud of who I am and what I look like, I go there and it all falls apart. Everyone else has so much more than I do and when I see them I just feel dirt poor again. I hate it. I almost hate myself. My stupid life. Maybe if I were one of those underdogs in movies and stories. But I have nothing. I'm not only poor, but ugly. Every part of me is just unattractive. My natural tan isn't even right. I always look dirty and gross. I can never do anything with my hair and my skin is horrid. My body is disproportioned and thanks to stress, I even have belly flub. As much as I wish I looked different, I wouldn't pay for any surgery. I am hoping to go through life without needing surgery or as little as possible if I can. God made me the way I am and though i'm not completely pleased with my physical appearance, i'm pleased with my personality and interests and such.
I have friends...I love my friends. Well, i'm at least grateful for them. I have one friend that I do love, and you know who you are. Not to say I don't love my other friends but they have so many bad quirks to them. I'll name one Amelia. Amelia is a good friend. But she doesn't like sleepovers. WHO DOESN'T LIKE SLEEPOVERS?! D: She likes to flaunt things, which I don't overly mind but still. She can be obnoxious at times. She's very self conscious and I don't blame her, as you can see I am too. But she's always fishing for compliments, which I usually don't mind but at that quantity it's just...jlsdf. She's also rather selfish... I try not to let it get to me; we're all selfish to an extent. But I don't know... I have another friend; Betty. Betty is great and all, but she can also seem rather obnoxious. Betty I know can't help it, but at times does kind of smell... she doesn't take care for a lot of personal hygiene. Betty complains a lot and can be horrifically stubborn. She doesn't have a lot of similar interests as me except for a couple genres. Japanese music, japan, anime, book genre's, and country music. I truly believe that is it. She's friendly and very entertaining to be around...she's just not a best friend. Another friend, let me call her Helga. She is as entertaining as Betty is. In fact, Betty and Helga are like one entitiy. I have the same problems with Helga that I do Betty. Except that Helga is worse in how stubborn and simple minded she is. She hates any thought of religion so it's taboo to mention it around her without expecting a smart remark or an arguement. And Jose...Jose and his friends Jake and Beavis are almost the same for me. Jose can just be a little simple minded. Jose complains a lot...and doesn't share a lot of interests with me. Probably because he is a boy. Just an obnoxious boy. Jake is alright, i've been friends with him since maybe 5th grade. It was funny since Jakes little sister always used to come up to me and say " my brother likes you" I never believed her for a second, because for one how would she find out. But apparently it was true since in 6th grade his then girlfriend jokingly informed me about it and about how he didn't like me anymore. xD Jake can also be rather immature and sometimes annoying. He can be nice though. He's favored a little over Jose, but I just flat out dislike Beavis. He annoys me. He's obnoxious. He is immature. He is stupid. Did I mention he was annoying? He irritates me down to the bone. Like i've mentioned several times, i'll put up with him, I might pity him, but I will never like him in the least.
My social standing at school is fine. I'd rather it was a bit higher, but i'm on good grounds with almost everyone there. I can't currently think of anyone I formally dislike, or anyone that currently dislikes me.
I don't need a significant other to be happy. I"ve well discerned that. As long as I have good friends for the rest of my life i'll be content. I made sure to believe that a while ago. Hopefully I can live by that because I probably wont get one any time soon for reasons already mentioned.
When I grow up I want to be some sort of IT...or a historian. I'm computer savvy if I do say so myself, and History fascinates me. I'm proud of my personality. I really am. I have some bad quirks like we all do, but for the most part. My humor, my music tastes, my fashion tastes, my tastes in culture and such i'm proud of.
Japan...it's a place I'm interested in. Lots of things about the culture are very interesting. Amusing and entertaining even. A given, anime and manga are entertaining. Japanese music and music from everywhere else i've listened to it is neat. I love music. The fads in Japan are also interesting, and everything about the culture. But as many pros to Japan that there are, there are just as many cons. The Japanese are a very odd bunch...whether it's the ridiculous fads like self mutilation, suicide, ganguro...the polytheism.... I don't know. As much as I love it, it confuses me. I also want to visit the Ukraine, not just for Chernobyl but for it's music and movies and culture and things. Same with Russia, France, and Great Britain. If I ever get married, I hope I will, but if I ever do, I hope I can be like Sarah Lane-Moran (I can't just call her Sarah Moran it feels weird. ) and Brendan, and travel the world. There are so many interesting places to see...I'd like to visit if I easily could; Canada, Great Britain, France, Italy, Greece, Ukraine, Czech Republic, Ukraine, Russia, South Korea, Japan, China, Australia, Egypt, Tanzania, Nigeria, Colombia, lots of different places. I remember when I was little and we learned about different cultures in Kindergarten, Asian places like China and Japan fascinated me, as well as Africa. I don't know why but there was something very alluring about their history's and cultures. If I ever have children I also want to have a boy and a girl. Get that experience. xD
That's all i'm going to write about I suppose...I can't think of anything else i'd like to elaborate on.
You Are 16% Capitalist, 84% Socialist
You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.
As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.
You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.
Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?