Re: i hate manipulation (I apologize for any future cliches)mitchy22April 20 2006, 00:22:58 UTC
I tell myself to try to let certain things not bother me, brush off what other people say, tell myself that I'm doing everything my way and that's the right way. You just have to be yourself and never compromise or let other people tell you what's good for you.
See it's strange. I go through phases. Like I'm in some state of flux between being completely confident and feeling almost worthless. It's not a one day to the next thing, it's more of a cumulative experiences thing. If things keep happening that are shitty, I get down on myself.
If I get on a good roll, I feel like I can do almost anything. I'd love to find a middle slightly high ground where I'm mostly positive almost all of the time than the large variance and long periods of either up or down.
As for the invisible pressure, it's true, it is only there as much as I let it be, but it has a history, and it is frustrating when you have to deal with err...frustrating people. I just wish my parents could share my point of view for one day so they could maybe see life how I see it, it's difficult dealing with people that have such a different outlook on things. Even when I share, it's like talking to a wall. My words either fall upon deaf ears, or they only hold for a day or so and it's like the important conversations never really happened.
But at the end of the day, that type of pressure is self-imposed to a degree. To steal a line from Fight Club
You had to give it to him: he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
Not sure if that's the exact quote or not, but it's close enough.
All of that aside. :) Thanks for the kind words and taking good care of Elissa, and from what I can tell in the "molecule of time" (I thought that was great) I've 'known' you, that you definitely give me a run for my money in awesome-ness.
Thumbs Up back at ya!
Maybe I am NOT a human being dealing with human beings, that's always another possibility as well. :), Mitch
See it's strange. I go through phases. Like I'm in some state of flux between being completely confident and feeling almost worthless. It's not a one day to the next thing, it's more of a cumulative experiences thing. If things keep happening that are shitty, I get down on myself.
If I get on a good roll, I feel like I can do almost anything.
I'd love to find a middle slightly high ground where I'm mostly positive almost all of the time than the large variance and long periods of either up or down.
As for the invisible pressure, it's true, it is only there as much as I let it be, but it has a history, and it is frustrating when you have to deal with err...frustrating people. I just wish my parents could share my point of view for one day so they could maybe see life how I see it, it's difficult dealing with people that have such a different outlook on things. Even when I share, it's like talking to a wall. My words either fall upon deaf ears, or they only hold for a day or so and it's like the important conversations never really happened.
But at the end of the day, that type of pressure is self-imposed to a degree. To steal a line from Fight Club
You had to give it to him: he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
Not sure if that's the exact quote or not, but it's close enough.
All of that aside. :) Thanks for the kind words and taking good care of Elissa, and from what I can tell in the "molecule of time" (I thought that was great) I've 'known' you, that you definitely give me a run for my money in awesome-ness.
Thumbs Up back at ya!
Maybe I am NOT a human being dealing with human beings, that's always another possibility as well.
:),
Mitch
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