(no subject)
I found out today that my Grandpa died.
My mom woke me up because I fell asleep after my post work shower. She said:
"Pizza's here. (pause) Oh, and Grandpa just Died."
I don't know how I feel about that. Something inside just made me so infuriated. How can you lump the death of my Grandpa with my mundane dinner?This delivery has irritated me so much over the past few hours.
He was placed in a home back in January after a stroke made it so he became disoriented (I was Heidi, a dog he had 10-15 years ago, my sister was Karen, our cat). He was doing just fine for some time.
About a month and a half ago he suffered from a heart attack and landed in the hospital. He was okay, so they brought him back to the home after a short recovery period.
2 - 3 weeks ago he fell down & broke his hip...back into the hospital he went. They surgically placed it back in, but he squirmed a lot in bed & it popped back out, making recovery very difficult.
Last Sunday I saw him in the Hospital. I couldn't even recognize him. He was very bloated & generally unhealthy looking. He was awake for a little bit, but they gave him such heavy painkillers he would doze off mid sentence. He couldn't even see me at all now - I was keeping my distance because the whole experience made me really uncomfortable. I was surprised even at myself that I just could not handle seeing him like that. It made me sick to my stomach.
Now that he is gone, it's bittersweet. I could tell that his pain was worsening - not just from his hip too (he also has arthritis & Parkinson's along with dementia and a myriad of other complications). I felt terrible not seeing him as much as I should have, but most of the time he was in the home I was at school. I got to see him on Father's day & he seemed to be improving. He put up the good fight & in the end it was just all too much for him.
This will be the second relative in three months that passed away for me. My Aunt Suzie (my dad's only sister) just passed away a while ago. She just turned 50.
I still feel numb. The pain hasn't set in yet. I knew I was emotionally prepared for this to happen, but I don't think i was really this ready. I hope I can handle this weekend & return to work not completely broken up. Here's to hoping.
Grandpa, I'm gonna miss you. The real you. ...alot.
My mom woke me up because I fell asleep after my post work shower. She said:
"Pizza's here. (pause) Oh, and Grandpa just Died."
I don't know how I feel about that. Something inside just made me so infuriated. How can you lump the death of my Grandpa with my mundane dinner?This delivery has irritated me so much over the past few hours.
He was placed in a home back in January after a stroke made it so he became disoriented (I was Heidi, a dog he had 10-15 years ago, my sister was Karen, our cat). He was doing just fine for some time.
About a month and a half ago he suffered from a heart attack and landed in the hospital. He was okay, so they brought him back to the home after a short recovery period.
2 - 3 weeks ago he fell down & broke his hip...back into the hospital he went. They surgically placed it back in, but he squirmed a lot in bed & it popped back out, making recovery very difficult.
Last Sunday I saw him in the Hospital. I couldn't even recognize him. He was very bloated & generally unhealthy looking. He was awake for a little bit, but they gave him such heavy painkillers he would doze off mid sentence. He couldn't even see me at all now - I was keeping my distance because the whole experience made me really uncomfortable. I was surprised even at myself that I just could not handle seeing him like that. It made me sick to my stomach.
Now that he is gone, it's bittersweet. I could tell that his pain was worsening - not just from his hip too (he also has arthritis & Parkinson's along with dementia and a myriad of other complications). I felt terrible not seeing him as much as I should have, but most of the time he was in the home I was at school. I got to see him on Father's day & he seemed to be improving. He put up the good fight & in the end it was just all too much for him.
This will be the second relative in three months that passed away for me. My Aunt Suzie (my dad's only sister) just passed away a while ago. She just turned 50.
I still feel numb. The pain hasn't set in yet. I knew I was emotionally prepared for this to happen, but I don't think i was really this ready. I hope I can handle this weekend & return to work not completely broken up. Here's to hoping.
Grandpa, I'm gonna miss you. The real you. ...alot.