(no subject)
Long time no post... XD;;. My life is boring and quiet and majorly loved! No complaints.
So, I was on the bus today on my way to work with a dead battery in my ipod. I was forced to listen to the engines grind and other bus riders annoying discussions. Two women, with their hollering offspring, felt the need to go into explicit detail about how horrible birthing their children had been. I could literally feel everyone on the bus tense the hell up. I was eating cranberries and had to stop... I've seen most of my nieces be born. This is not big deal. Preggers talk. I'm like super fascinated by it. I'm the weirdo that likes watching babies be born on the Oxygen channell. Anyway, it was just the TONE these women had discussing it... It was morbid! Not YAY new baby!
The women reached the top of "Nearly died due to excessive bleeding..." and I felt my spirit fight to claw it's way out of my body. I have an INTENSELY strong fear of giving birth. My sisters all had hard pregnancies and I've had ovarian cysts... Shit like this makes me prickle with stress-hives to hear about... I know each woman is different... But damn, WHY? WHY were they talking about this on the BUS?! I mean, c'mon now! T_______________T;;;;. My job stresses me enough...
And their children were oblivious. Little kids too young to understand that hey, your mommy loves you, BUT you almost unintentionally caused their deaths. After they went into detail about pain medication and how it doesn't hurt in the vagina but in the ass (cause of the pressure I guess) I blanked out. And damn, my ipod was still dead. I checked... Huagh...
But my noise reduction ear buds still worked.
It was a blissfully silent 15 minutes of commutting. after that.
Oh, my computer died. On a new one. Doing art. So yeah, art coming soon!
I still have like, no control when it comes to laying my ass down to sleep at a decent hour. I'm majorly drowsy all day and miserable forcing myself out of bed. But I can't make myself lay down before 4am. Damn it. Damn it...
So, I was on the bus today on my way to work with a dead battery in my ipod. I was forced to listen to the engines grind and other bus riders annoying discussions. Two women, with their hollering offspring, felt the need to go into explicit detail about how horrible birthing their children had been. I could literally feel everyone on the bus tense the hell up. I was eating cranberries and had to stop... I've seen most of my nieces be born. This is not big deal. Preggers talk. I'm like super fascinated by it. I'm the weirdo that likes watching babies be born on the Oxygen channell. Anyway, it was just the TONE these women had discussing it... It was morbid! Not YAY new baby!
The women reached the top of "Nearly died due to excessive bleeding..." and I felt my spirit fight to claw it's way out of my body. I have an INTENSELY strong fear of giving birth. My sisters all had hard pregnancies and I've had ovarian cysts... Shit like this makes me prickle with stress-hives to hear about... I know each woman is different... But damn, WHY? WHY were they talking about this on the BUS?! I mean, c'mon now! T_______________T;;;;. My job stresses me enough...
And their children were oblivious. Little kids too young to understand that hey, your mommy loves you, BUT you almost unintentionally caused their deaths. After they went into detail about pain medication and how it doesn't hurt in the vagina but in the ass (cause of the pressure I guess) I blanked out. And damn, my ipod was still dead. I checked... Huagh...
But my noise reduction ear buds still worked.
It was a blissfully silent 15 minutes of commutting. after that.
Oh, my computer died. On a new one. Doing art. So yeah, art coming soon!
I still have like, no control when it comes to laying my ass down to sleep at a decent hour. I'm majorly drowsy all day and miserable forcing myself out of bed. But I can't make myself lay down before 4am. Damn it. Damn it...