You're so gay, you probably think this song is about you
fauxappletree came out tonight. His parents aren't sure they believe him. My effort at consolation goes horribly awry....
Indi: Don't worry, sweetie, I'll always believe you're gayer than a drunk leprechaun.
Drew: Thankee.
Indi: As gay as a costume shop...
Indi: As gay as Paris, even.
Drew: So gay I can't even sit on the furniture.
Drew: So gay I can sit on a lollipop and tell you its flavor.
Indi: So gay you outsparkle the Hope Diamond?
Drew: So gay I broke the rainbow.
Indi: So gay you ejaculate rainbows.
Indi: So gay your boxers are made of lace and satin?
Indi: As gay as liederhosen?
Drew: So gay that the musical theater people don't even have a role I can fill.
Indi: So gay you could be Nathan Lane's understudy.
Indi: For LIFE!
Drew: So gay that a size 14 8-inch heel bitch boot rejects my foot.
Indi: So gay you look better in a dress than I do.
Drew: So gay that Richard Simmons is crying.
Indi: So gay that you glow instead of sweat.
Drew: So gay that the Surprise! spotlights come down on me during Celebration.
Indi: So gay that even when you trip on something it looks like a dance.
Drew: So gay that I had raw dough implanted in my wrist.
Indi: So gay that Andrew Lloyd Webber weeps at your chutzpah?
Drew: So gay that the guys I date could come from my sister's reject bin because they're looking for someone more feimine.
Indi: So gay that, when going out for the evening, you have an entourage.
Drew: So gay that by simply opening your mouth to speak, you know that your entire chorus is going hate you because you MUST have an excellent singing voice.
Indi: So gay that you call hair stuff product.
Drew: So gay that when you do that trip and fall that looks like a dance, somebody NAMES it.
Indi: So gay that you and your entourage could be mistaken for an impromptu Pride Parade.
Drew: So gay that your jeans are tighter than the arm cuff of the blood pressure checker in the grocery store.
Indi: So gay that your phone rings to the tune of "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me."
Drew: So gay that the Pointer Sisters want to make you an honorary Pointer...
Drew: And you accept.
Indi: So gay that you could teach Aretha a thing or two about R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Drew: So gay that when you open a Bible, it immediately opens to the story of Sodom and Gommorah, because God is a-mockin' you.
Indi: So gay that you kind of wish you could go visit Sodom.
Drew: So gay that you own land in Sodom.
Drew: So gay that the obligatory penis statue in Sodom stands even MORE erect when you show up on vacation.
Indi: So gay that Elton John envies your wardrobe
Drew: So gay that Elton John envies your personality.
Indi: So gay that Elton John envies your boyfriends.
Drew: So gay that your funeral is not a funeral. It is, in fact, a Bette Midler revue.
Indi: So gay that you know them as Bah-bra and Liza.
Drew: So gay that when Michael Brandon walks by, you turn your ass out.
Indi: So gay that you bawl hysterically at Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Steel Magnolias.
Drew: So gay that when Richard Simmons walks by, you practice turning your ass out and in, but you best make sure it's IN when he walks by you.
Indi: So gay, your gaydar is illegal in 13 states.
Drew: So gay that you'd swear you were a Supreme in your previous life.
Indi: So gay that you still get all misty when someone mentions Princess Diana.
Drew: So gay that the other 37 states are in litigation with your gaydar's representatives. (Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather)
Indi: So gay that you associate the word 'queen' with glitter and spangles, not England or Freddie Mercury.
Drew: So gay that a faggot is not a bundle of sticks, nor a cigarette.
Indi: So gay that "that's so gay" is a constructive compliment.
Drew: So gay that diva is a SERIOUS understatement.
Indi: So gay that when your best friend has kids, you're going to be their fairy godmother.
Indi: Don't worry, sweetie, I'll always believe you're gayer than a drunk leprechaun.
Drew: Thankee.
Indi: As gay as a costume shop...
Indi: As gay as Paris, even.
Drew: So gay I can't even sit on the furniture.
Drew: So gay I can sit on a lollipop and tell you its flavor.
Indi: So gay you outsparkle the Hope Diamond?
Drew: So gay I broke the rainbow.
Indi: So gay you ejaculate rainbows.
Indi: So gay your boxers are made of lace and satin?
Indi: As gay as liederhosen?
Drew: So gay that the musical theater people don't even have a role I can fill.
Indi: So gay you could be Nathan Lane's understudy.
Indi: For LIFE!
Drew: So gay that a size 14 8-inch heel bitch boot rejects my foot.
Indi: So gay you look better in a dress than I do.
Drew: So gay that Richard Simmons is crying.
Indi: So gay that you glow instead of sweat.
Drew: So gay that the Surprise! spotlights come down on me during Celebration.
Indi: So gay that even when you trip on something it looks like a dance.
Drew: So gay that I had raw dough implanted in my wrist.
Indi: So gay that Andrew Lloyd Webber weeps at your chutzpah?
Drew: So gay that the guys I date could come from my sister's reject bin because they're looking for someone more feimine.
Indi: So gay that, when going out for the evening, you have an entourage.
Drew: So gay that by simply opening your mouth to speak, you know that your entire chorus is going hate you because you MUST have an excellent singing voice.
Indi: So gay that you call hair stuff product.
Drew: So gay that when you do that trip and fall that looks like a dance, somebody NAMES it.
Indi: So gay that you and your entourage could be mistaken for an impromptu Pride Parade.
Drew: So gay that your jeans are tighter than the arm cuff of the blood pressure checker in the grocery store.
Indi: So gay that your phone rings to the tune of "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me."
Drew: So gay that the Pointer Sisters want to make you an honorary Pointer...
Drew: And you accept.
Indi: So gay that you could teach Aretha a thing or two about R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Drew: So gay that when you open a Bible, it immediately opens to the story of Sodom and Gommorah, because God is a-mockin' you.
Indi: So gay that you kind of wish you could go visit Sodom.
Drew: So gay that you own land in Sodom.
Drew: So gay that the obligatory penis statue in Sodom stands even MORE erect when you show up on vacation.
Indi: So gay that Elton John envies your wardrobe
Drew: So gay that Elton John envies your personality.
Indi: So gay that Elton John envies your boyfriends.
Drew: So gay that your funeral is not a funeral. It is, in fact, a Bette Midler revue.
Indi: So gay that you know them as Bah-bra and Liza.
Drew: So gay that when Michael Brandon walks by, you turn your ass out.
Indi: So gay that you bawl hysterically at Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Steel Magnolias.
Drew: So gay that when Richard Simmons walks by, you practice turning your ass out and in, but you best make sure it's IN when he walks by you.
Indi: So gay, your gaydar is illegal in 13 states.
Drew: So gay that you'd swear you were a Supreme in your previous life.
Indi: So gay that you still get all misty when someone mentions Princess Diana.
Drew: So gay that the other 37 states are in litigation with your gaydar's representatives. (Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather)
Indi: So gay that you associate the word 'queen' with glitter and spangles, not England or Freddie Mercury.
Drew: So gay that a faggot is not a bundle of sticks, nor a cigarette.
Indi: So gay that "that's so gay" is a constructive compliment.
Drew: So gay that diva is a SERIOUS understatement.
Indi: So gay that when your best friend has kids, you're going to be their fairy godmother.