Fifteen characters fleeing an author...
Ooh, looky my brane is only half-broke this week! Wanna play, too.
Ahem.
Yes, well. Meme snagged from all over. If you want to play, make your list of fifteen characters before you read the questions.
My list of characters (and their fandoms):
1-The Sorting Hat (HP)
2-Worm (Labyrinth)
3-Bayban the Butcher (B7)
4-Soolin (B7)
5-Emma Peel (Avengers)
6-Hiro Nakamura (Heroes)
7-Megan Reeves (N3)
8-Larry Fleinhardt (N3)
9-Horatio Caine (CSI: Miami)
10-Jack O'Neill (SG-1)
11-Dana Scully (X-Files)
12-Bob (Dresden Files)
13-Anya Jenkins (BtVS)
14-James Wilson (House)
15-Greg House (House)
1) 12 (Bob) and 7 (Megan) get married and move in together. What kind of home would they live in? Who will decorate the house and would either of them be tempted to have an affair with 1 (the Sorting Hat)?
::blink:: Well, Bob--being that he is a disembodied spirit trapped in a skull--doesn't have a lot of luggage, so Megan just takes him home and puts him on her night stand. The decor doesn't change much, except for his stack of lurid romance novels, which Megan hides when company comes. They're both just friends with the Sorting Hat, truly--although the Hat does get equally as tired of hearing Megan complain that Bob is only interested in her for her body as it does of hearing Bob complain that Megan only loves him for his mind. Particularly as it knows they're both right.
2) 1, 4, 8 & 13 (the Sorting Hat, Soolin, Larry, and Anya) fall through a dimensional portal leading to the Star Wars universe. What will they do until they get back home? Will they work as a team or will they try to kill each other?
They do pretty well, actually. Soolin handles protection, Anya handles finance and negotiation, Larry solves the puzzle of how to get home. The Sorting Hat helps by sorting friend from foe, helping Anya negotiate, and helping Larry access the most remote recesses of his intellect. None of them has any interest in the local politics, however, and they keep a low profile, returning home without more than a few oblique brushes with any of the more 'famous' rebels.
3) If 2 (Worm) and 7 (Megan) went out to dinner, where would they go, what would they eat, and what would they do afterwards?
They would eat someplace with outdoor seating, and where you pick up your own order; that way there'd be no chance of a waiter coming by and squishing Worm out of hand. They'd share a yummy dinner salad (Megan would arrange a selection of veggies on a saucer for Worm), with a grilled chicken breast for Megan. (Definitely no fish!) Worm would tell Megan all about life in the Labyrinth, his family and friends, and all the trouble Jareth causes. Afterwards Megan would take him home (carrying a nice doggie bag for the Missus), where Megan would make a point of confronting Jareth and telling him that if he can't stop bullying people on his own, she can give him the names of several competent therapists. Jareth would be so stunned he'd actually take the business cards she offers him; Worm would be hiding nearby to watch, and he'd probably grin in admiration for the next week or so. Then Megan would go home and call Larry, to tell him all about this crazy daydream she'd had.
4) What kind of a pet would 9 (Horatio Caine) have?
An iguana named Max and a cockatoo named Miguel Octavius Gorbachev. Don't ask.
5) How might 6 (Hiro) manage to badly offend 2 (Worm), and what would 2 (Worm) do about it?
Well, you know Hiro: when he's on a Very Important Hero Mission, he doesn't have much time for anyone else's concerns. So when he has to get a critical piece of information from Worm, he brushes off Worm's very polite invitation to tea. The rudeness is unintentional, but real, and it starts off an argument about the importance of tea, which peaks when Hiro says in frustration, "What does a worm know about tea, anyway?" This, of course, makes Worm very angry, and he refuses to give Hiro the needed information until Hiro promises to come back for tea after he's completed his mission.
By the time Hiro returns, he's thought better of his behaviour and apologizes. Worm forgives him, and demonstrates, much to Hiro's surprise, that he can make not only proper English tea, but proper Japanese tea, as well. "After all," Worm says, "who knows more about leaves than a worm?" Mrs. Worm wisely slips some sake into their tea, and Worm and Hiro part the best of friends.
6) Due to some plot device, 8 & 11 (Larry and Scully) end up in charge of a baby they're supposed to be jointly responsible for. How do they manage?
Larry thinks that babies are thought-provoking and awe-inspiring beings in the abstract, but a bit frightening when close up. Scully, being more practical, and not about to assume all the responsibility herself, insists that Larry try some hands-on learning, now. Larry adjusts after a day or so, and from then on they manage perfectly well. Mind you, if they keep the baby, they're going to have some high expectations for it, poor thing.
7) It's up to 13 & 15 (Anya and House) to save the universe! How doomed are we?
How doomed do you think we are? Yeah, that. Seriously, they would be so busy snarking at each other that the universe could disintegrate around them and they wouldn't even notice. And the most WTF part is, it would be an aphrodisiac for both of them. Of course, now I want somebody to write this.
8) 1 (the Sorting Hat) asks for 3's (Bayban's) hand in marriage. How does 3 (Bayban) react? And what possessed 1 (the Sorting Hat), anyway?
Bayban is outraged at the Hat's impertinence. He turns his blaster on it, but the beam is reflected back at him and he disappears in a flash of light, whereupon the Sorting Hat reveals that it was all a spell laid on him before Dumbledore's death, to enable the Hat to get rid of hostile extra-dimensional entities such as Bayban.
9) 3 (Bayban), 5 (Emma Peel), and 10 (Jack O'Neill) get into a physical fight for a silly reason. What was the reason?
They are all volunteering at a charity fair to benefit wayward boys (Bayban not quite grasping the fact that the purpose is to keep them from being wayward). Jack is the reluctant chair of the event, Emma is running a pie booth, and Bayban is declaiming Shakespeare from the open-air stage next to the pie booth. Bayban finds the Shakespeare a bit boring, as does his audience. He starts telling his own stories, which drives the audience away even faster. In desperation, Jack grabs a cream pie and throws it in Bayban's face. Bayban roars and dives at Jack, smashing him into the pie booth and getting both Jack and Emma covered with pie in the process. Mayhem ensues, but the crowd stays to watch, and sales of popcorn and soda to the spectators make the fair a great success.
10) What kind of a nut is 7 (Megan)?
A lightly toasted and salted cashew, golden and creamy.
11) 2, 10, 12 and 15 (Worm, O'Neill, Bob, and House) are in a car (or other small vehicle) together. Who drives, who is in which seat, and where are they going?
O'Neill drives, for obvious reasons (i.e., he's the only one who can). House insists on riding shotgun, for equally obvious reasons (i.e., he's not above using his bad leg to get what he wants). Bob objects to being relegated to the back seat just because he doesn't have a body, but it doesn't do him any good. The three of them engage in a snarkfest of major proportions, while Worm crouches wide-eyed on the rear dash, trying to remain unnoticed.
As for where they're going, O'Neill can't tell you because then he'd have to kill you, House won't tell you because he isn't in the mood to discuss philosophy, Bob is so happy to get out of the apartment that he doesn't care where they're going, and Worm is afraid to ask.
12) 1 and 5 (the Sorting Hat and Emma Peel) are getting into politics together. How might they achieve their goals?
Well, it's really a top-secret joint mission to save the nation, of course, and thus neither of them is above doing a little sneaking in a good cause. The Sorting Hat disguises itself with a glamour, and Emma substitutes it for the headwear of their opponents. Once the Hat has a chance to do some reconnaissance, they undo the switch and set out to plan their campaign strategy. Emma is the face of the ticket, the Hat always her partner, perched on her head looking like an elegant pillbox.
13) 3, 7, 8 and 11 (Bayban, Megan, Larry, and Scully) are stranded on a hospitable but uninhabited planet. What is their situation a year later?
Aiyee. Talk about a recipe for disaster! Megan is seven months into a difficult pregnancy with twins (I know, I know, she and Larry are both too sensible to risk a pregnancy under these circumstances, but honestly, it was one moment of weakness ["It was more than just a moment, I'll have you know," says Larry in my ear]), and on complete bed rest at Scully's orders. Larry is a nervous wreck, what with worrying about Megan and the upcoming delivery. Bayban is locked in a makeshift cage that has no exits; it has to be continually reinforced, as he spends all his time trying to destroy it. Scully has a constant headache from trying to hold them all together.
14) 4 (Soolin) challenges 14 (Wilson) to a duel. Why, and what happens?
Well, you see... Wilson got tired of always having to tell people they were dying, so he switched to fertility medicine. Soolin and Vila, permanently stranded in 21st-century New Jersey, are having some trouble starting a family. They consult Wilson, whose tendency to be more soft-hearted than he is ethical has followed him from his old field to his new one. When he discovers that the fault lies with Vila, he doesn't want to disappoint them; he wrestles with the idea of substituting his own DNA.
Of course, nothing attracts a circling House like the scent of a conflicted Wilson. House pokes and prods at Wilson until he finds out what's going on, then pokes and prods some more until he's argued Wilson out of the deception (based mostly on the point that Wilson couldn't keep the guilty secret for long). Then he substitutes his own DNA for Vila's, and Soolin winds up carrying baby House.
Now, this would be the end of the story, except that it all comes out shortly after the baby is born. Vila is crushed, and Soolin is coldly furious. She challenges House to a duel, but he does his "Hello, cripple here," routine, and she hands the other gun to Wilson instead. He stands there blinking and stammering while Soolin paces away and turns to aim.
Soolin isn't planning to kill anyone; she just wants to give Wilson, and particularly House, a really bad scare. Unfortunately, it's working all too well. House, afraid Wilson is about to die for something House did, interferes in the duel. But he's not fast enough or selfless enough to throw himself in front of a bullet; he strikes at Soolin's gun arm with his cane. The gun goes off, and Wilson is killed. At last, House can angst about something that's actually his fault. Angst, House, Angst! Thbbbbbbbbbbbbt!!! (Yes, I have issues with the season finale. Why do you ask?)
15) 3 & 4 (Bayban and Soolin) and 7 & 9 (Megan and Horatio) team up to compete against each other. What would the game / sport / challenge be, which team would win, and why?
It's a tug of war! Bayban and Soolin are winning, until Soolin realizes that Bayban is cheating. She doesn't mind pushing the limits when lives are at stake, but cheating at a game is just bad form. She lets go of the rope and he's pulled into the mud pit that marks the center of the struggle. He draws his gun, but it's clogged with mud. Soolin's isn't.
16) 1 (the Sorting Hat) has decided to run for president / prime minister / leader / whatever, with 3 (Bayban) as their running mate. Opposing them is 13 (Anya) with 6 (Hiro) as their running mate. Who wins, and why - and what happens after they take power?
Bayban steals the election, but Anya makes Hiro take them back to fix it. Whereupon Bayban of course steals it again, but let's face it: an erratic madman is no match for the implacability of a former vengeance demon.
17) 1, 4, 7, 12, 15 (the Sorting Hat, Soolin, Megan, Bob, and House) are playing poker. Who cheats, who wins, and who is a bad loser? What other antics ensue?
Are you kidding? Megan is the only one that doesn't cheat. The others are so busy cheating each other that they fail to notice that she's winning. After she decides it's a good time to leave with her money, Bob and House wind up arguing all night, then go out to a bar and argue some more, while the Sorting Hat makes some--ahem--personal suggestions to Soolin, and they wind up going home together, as it's the best offer she's had in a while.
18) 5, 9, 10 (Mrs. Peel, Horatio, and O'Neill) get somehow stuck in a subway / underground train. What happens?
O'Neill starts making sarcastic remarks about public transportation and how everywhere he goes, something bad happens; Horatio suggests that it isn't a good time to panic; and Mrs. Peel rolls her eyes at them both and quietly pushes the button that opens the door.
19) Either 5 (Mrs. Peel) or 7 (Megan)are going to become the next prez / PM / leader. You get to choose. Who and Why?
No, the question is wrong; they wouldn't be up for the same office. Mrs. Peel is going to be the next PM, and Megan is going to be the next President. U.S.-U.K. relations will never have been so good for both countries.
20) Finally, of all fifteen, whom would you pick to babysit?
Wilson (temporarily subbing for the hospital daycare). Because House would turn up demanding Wilson's attention, and the children would drive House crazy, while Wilson would go crazy trying to deal with House and mitigate the damage House was doing to the children's little psyches. ::evil grin::
You see why my characters won't talk to me any more? Yeah, that.