Unintentionally humorous SF
"Sudenly, all the eyes in the room rose from their fixed positions on the floor to stare at him."
"Mona was on the liquilounge, her dark eyes pouring over him like warm jello."
"Ashala's head felt like vermicelli slowly slipping off the platter of her sholders."
"Onion oil! I couldn't imagine anyting worse than a daily bath in onion oil."
Yes, you read those correctly. Do you want more? Are you sure?
From cranky_editors comes this link to True excerpts from stories submitted to Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine. Warning for occasional 'adult' subject matter.