Ookiku Furikabutte, "Physical Therapy, part iii," Abe/Mihashi, NC-17
Hey look it's part three! Finally. Unf.
I don't know why this section gave me such trouble. Maybe because it was my favorite section of the original story? I don't think so. I think it's Mihashi. He gives me fits. Not as badly as he did at the start of this, but. Still.
And he may or may not have killed my ability to write Abe. I plan to go write some Abe POV fiction next to make sure I haven't lost that completely.
After I go for a bike ride.
And bake some muffins.
Enjoy the fiction!
You can find the original story here: part i • part ii • part iii
And the Mihashi-POV sequel here: part i • part ii • part iii
Physical Therapy
part iii
by mistr3ss Quickly
Abe's gone longer than Mihashi's expecting, but he does come back, a jar of petroleum jelly in his hand and a glare on his face, but even that isn't all that scary because he tells Mihashi to relax first thing. Says it kind of softly, like he means it.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he says.
Which he doesn't need to say. Abe would never hurt anyone. Especially Mihashi.
But. Still.
"I'm going to lubricate my finger and check you for, ah-for signs of drug use," he says. "It might feel a little awkward, but it won't hurt. Try to relax. Tell me if anything hurts."
Mihashi's back kind of aches where he's been bent over the bed. Shoulders sore where his arms have been stretched back, holding his gown closed because his butt's bare and the gown would leave it bare for Abe to see if he didn't hold it closed. His neck feels a little stiff where he's got his head turned far enough for him to see his catcher.
But that's not what Abe meant when he said to tell him if anything hurt, so Mihashi keeps it to himself and nods to let his catcher know he understands. Keeps his butt covered, too, because letting it be uncovered would be like mooning Abe, and that's something he never wants to do. Never-ever-ever.
"Please open your gown and spread your legs," Abe says, once he's got the jar open and his fingers slick. They look bigger, wrapped in rubber and shiny with petroleum jelly. Stronger. Mihashi's body twitches. Inside. Which feels kind of weird. Kind of good. "Just a bit. Feet shoulder-width apart will be just fine."
Mihashi's cock is starting to stand up again. But that was okay last time, when Abe was looking right at it no less, so it should be okay this time, too. It's pressed against the edge of Abe's mattress anyway. Abe probably won't even notice it.
Maybe.
So Mihashi lets go of his gown, lets the cotton fall open around him. Reaches back and pulls himself open so that Abe won't have any trouble finding his hole. He didn't have any trouble when he tried it himself, but that's because it was his own body. And he was in the bath. Didn't mind getting conditioner on himself because he was going to wash it right off as soon as he was done. Abe probably won't want to make him messy because then he'll need to use the bath and that would be a bother. So it's better. To make sure it's easy. For Abe.
His body twitches inside again when he pulls himself open. Twitches on the outside, too. Probably. He can feel his hole moving, trying to pull in on itself. Which feels good, feels like it did when it tried to keep his finger out while he was trying to push his finger in.
Only he's not alone this time. Abe's with him. Probably watching him. Maybe thinking he's strange. Because he likes it. Doing what he's doing.
But Abe isn't strange and isn't mean, Abe wants to help him and wants to be a good doctor, so he doesn't say anything bad about what Mihashi's body is doing, he takes a deep breath and comes closer, close enough that Mihashi can feel the floor shifting under his weight.
"I'm going to start the exam now," he says. His voice sounds funny. Maybe because Mihashi's hearing it with only one ear, the other ear pressed into the bedspread. Because he's hearing it through the pounding rush of blood in his ears, his heart beating faster than it should, considering he's just lying there. Not pitching. Not moving. Not doing anything. Holding still. "Take a deep breath. Relax. Tell me if anything hurts. It shouldn't, so if it does, that means there's something wrong. Okay?"
Mihashi nods. His body's twitching a lot, now. Getting impatient like his hands do when he's on the mound and wants to pitch but has to wait for the batter to signal that he's ready for it. Wanting to move. Wanting to feel.
He tightens his fingers where they're holding him open like he tightens them on the ball before pitching. Swallows around the noise his throat wants to make in response.
Abe's finger touches him. Lightly. Just hard enough for him to feel the finger-tip pushing petroleum jelly and rubber against him, right in the middle of his hole. Where he's sensitive. Then harder, pushing through. Opening him. Making the muscles move. Working with them. Like he works on Mihashi's shoulder when Mihashi doesn't stretch enough.
His other hand's touching, too. Holding Mihashi open. Keeping him open. So that it's okay when the other hand pushes. When his finger pushes inside. Deeper than Mihashi's fingers went. Only because they were attached to Mihashi's hand. Because Mihashi was being careful. Not to strain his wrist. To make it so he couldn't pitch.
He can hear Abe breathing, behind him. Breathing hard. Which is okay because he's breathing hard, too.
"That's as far as I'll need to go," Abe says, even though he's only got part of his finger inside. Not all of it like Mihashi was expecting. "Is it okay? Doesn't hurt?"
It doesn't. Feels like it's not enough, but that's just frustrating. Not painful.
Shaking his head doesn't feel weird. Pushing back against his catcher's hand, just to get a little bit more of that finger, a little bit more of that feeling, the tingle and stretch of being rubbed, doesn't feel weird, either.
"F-feels okay," he says. It's a lie. It feels amazing. But it's okay because he sucks at lying to Abe so Abe probably knows he really means that it feels good.
Which he must because he pushes in deeper like Mihashi wanted him to, pushes in until Mihashi can feel knuckles pressing against his bottom, can feel the pressure of his catcher's finger lodged up inside him, nice and deep and squirming, moving better than Mihashi's own finger moved. It touches something that makes everything tense up inside. In a good way. Good enough that Mihashi can't keep from making a noise. Kind of like when he's tickled. Only it's on his inside and it doesn't hurt like getting tickled usually does, doesn't make him want to get away. Makes him want to do other things. Things he shouldn't do in front of his catcher. Because that would be weird.
But Abe isn't stopping, isn't frowning at him (he's pretty sure) or telling him he's strange or gross or bad. Doesn't do more than what he's doing already, moving his finger in and out a little and wiggling it so that it tickles where Mihashi didn't know he was ticklish, before. Breathing hard through his mouth, his breath coming out warm where the hospital gown's slipped, baring Mihashi's shoulder to the chill of the room.
Mihashi's penis is wet. He can tell from how it rubs against the hospital gown. Almost kind of worries about making a mess of Abe's bed, but. It doesn't seem so important. Not right now.
Certainly not when Abe leans forward and says his name. Not when Abe's finger moves, pushing deep enough that his knuckles make the stretch feel the biggest it's felt. Not when Abe asks him a question, an important question.
"Is this okay?" he says. His voice still sounds funny. Makes Mihashi's entire body shudder. Makes his hole clench tight where Abe's trying his best to keep it open.
Question. Needs an answer. "Y-yes," Mihashi says. His voice cracks. Sounds strange, even to his ears. "I l-like it. A lot."
Likes it even better when Abe makes a sound in the back of his throat and moves, touching more. Pressing against Mihashi. With his cock. Which is hard. And warm. Pressed against the back of Mihashi's leg.
Oh god.
Abe leans forward and touches Mihashi with his other hand. Reaching around him. Pushing the hospital gown out of the way. Which would worry Mihashi because his penis is really sticky, making a mess, but Abe's smart enough to keep it from making too much of a mess, he puts his hand around Mihashi's cock and pulls. Smears around the mess Mihashi's made. Keeps it on his hand. On Mihashi's cock. Not on the bedspread.
Mihashi's mouth moves without input from his brain. It's easier that way. Means his words don't come out garbled or weird. He stutters a little, maybe, yes coming out y-yes, but that's just because he's distracted. Because his cock feels good in Abe's hand. Just as good as it does in his own hand. Better.
Because it's Abe.
Abe, whose other hand is keeping Mihashi spread open just fine. Who might get mad if Mihashi's cock makes his bedspread messy. So Mihashi lets go of the grip he's got on his own ass and grips the bed instead, keeps himself braced so his cock won't touch the bedspread, won't smear it with the precome Abe's hand is bringing to the tip with every stroke. He kind of sort of expects his catcher to fuss at him to be careful not to grip too hard because his fingers might get hurt if he does, but Abe doesn't say anything about it so Mihashi stops worrying and focuses on breathing because he's getting close. Feeling all woozy and hot and good. Pushing back against Abe's cock, still pressed tight against him. Forward into Abe's hand, wrapped tight around his cock.
He's not going to last long. Doesn't usually, anyway. Didn't when he experimented in the bath, curious what the rectal exam might feel like.
But.
He tries to warn his catcher. Doesn't get the words out very well.
But it's okay because Abe's smart so he figures it out, and he's Abe so he doesn't get angry, doesn't tell Mihashi he's bad for getting so messy. He moves his hand faster, which feels. So good. Tells Mihashi it's okay. Tells him he knows already. That Mihashi's close. Going to come.
Which means it's okay. Means it's okay.
More than okay when it hits. Much more than okay.
Because it's Abe who's bringing him off, Abe touching him. Abe's finger moving inside of him, Abe's hand working his cock. Abe's cock rubbing against the back of his leg. Harder when Mihashi bucks, pushing into his hand. Panting hard. Leaning against Mihashi like Mihashi's leaned on him countless times before, only this time it's different because it's Abe, Abe touching him, Abe wanting him, Abe hard and breathless and-
His throat's raw after he comes. His feet are numb, toes scrabbling at the floor, trying to hold him up. He's tired, slipping into the muzzy afterglow that comes only with a really good orgasm. But he fights it, fights it like he fights the fatigue he feels sometimes towards the end of a game. Because Abe's still hard, still touching him. Rubbing at his hole with the finger that was inside him, before. Making him messy with his other hand, holding him still even though he's got Mihashi's semen on his glove.
He's making a lot of noise. Well. A lot of quiet noise. Holding onto Mihashi's hips like men hold onto women when they have sex with them. With men, too, in the manga Mihashi maybe kind of bought after Haruna told him that Abe maybe kind of liked men better than women. Only he's not rubbing his cock against (inside) Mihashi's ass like the boys in the manga did. He's rubbing against Mihashi's leg. Shaking all over. Whimpering.
Mihashi's hole twitches. His insides feel funny again. Like he maybe wants to touch himself. Even though he just came.
It gets worse (better?) when Abe starts to come. When he makes a noise, high up in his throat, like he can't quite breathe. When he starts moving faster, like he's having sex with Mihashi's leg. Fingers digging into Mihashi's hips. Forehead warm where it rests on Mihashi's shoulder. A little sweaty. Tickling where Abe's hair brushes Mihashi's skin.
Better than masturbating. Better than any fantasy or dirty magazine. Better than anything. Because he's not alone. Because it's real.
Because it's Abe.
Abe, looking at him funny when it's over. Not really frowning but not kissing him or touching him or any of the things Mihashi thinks about sometimes when he's gotten off and trying to imagine what might come afterwards, were he with someone instead of alone and mopping up the mess he's made. Abe blushing. His face red. Redder than it should be, just from working hard to make Mihashi feel good. Not quite meeting Mihashi's eyes when Mihashi turns to look at him. Glaring at the floor instead.
"I'm sorry," he says straight away when Mihashi turns all the way around. Even though he doesn't have anything to be sorry for. "That's not-I shouldn't have done that to you. Your doctor won't do that. It's illegal, it's wrong. I'm-I'm sorry."
Even though he still doesn't have anything to be sorry for. But. Saying that would be weird. Because maybe he is sorry. Maybe he didn't want to do what he did. Not with Mihashi.
"I d-don't mind," Mihashi says, just to be sure. "Because it's Abe-kun."
He'd say more, if he weren't distracted. If Abe weren't peeling off the gloves. Exposing his hands. Those hands. So strong and careful, good hands. Doctor-hands. Doctor-hands Mihashi trusts. So much.
"You can clean up first, if you want," Abe says when Mihashi doesn't manage anything but a mute stare, his attention split between his catcher's hands and the front of his catcher's scrubs, the cotton wet with semen, with Abe's semen. Where Abe came. For him. "The bathroom's across the hall. I'll get you a towel."
Which means it's over. Means Abe doesn't want to do more. Mihashi nods, trying to ignore the twinge of regret in his stomach. He pulls at his hospital gown, gets it righted so nothing's showing. Gathers his clothes. Crosses the hall.
The towel Abe gives him smells nice. Like the shirt Abe loaned him once when he forgot his own at home and couldn't wear his practice jersey to class because it was sweaty and streaked with dirt. Smells familiar. Comforting.
He cleans himself up at the sink, doesn't bother with the shower. Washes his own semen off his hip, scrubbing until his skin's pink because the petroleum jelly mixed with his semen doesn't come off as easily as he's expecting it to. Cleans his penis. The smears of petroleum jelly on his balls. Reaches behind himself to clean the jelly smeared around his asshole. Startles a little when he discovers that he's still really sensitive back there. Really sensitive. Feels kind of stretched. Warmer than usual. Softer under his fingertips.
Which explains why it felt good when Abe touched him there, even after he'd come. When Abe rubbed him. Why it made him feel like he might want to come again, even though he's never been able to come more than once that quickly. Not even when he tried. Not even when he used Tajima's magazines to help him.
Tajima's magazines never had anything like this in them. Neither did the manga he bought. He tried. Once. Before his mom found it and replaced with a baseball magazine, even though he'd hidden it really well, someplace he didn't think she'd find it. Which he knows she did, even though she never said anything about it.
Mihashi's stomach twists. It occurs to him that maybe his mom didn't say anything to him about it because it's bad. Because it isn't something he should like. Maybe Haruna-san told him that Abe liked it as a prank. On Abe. Because they don't get along well. Because he knew it would be bad if Mihashi knew.
Which means Abe might be mad at him because he knows Mihashi knows. Because he knows Mihashi likes it. Getting touched. With Abe's finger. There.
Because he knows Mihashi knows that Abe maybe (probably) likes getting touched there, too.
His hands are shaking when he reaches for his clothes and pulls them on. Still shaking when he reaches for the bathroom door-handle.
Abe's waiting for him in his room. Not frowning as much as Mihashi'd expected. Says he's sorry straight away. Even though he doesn't have anything to be sorry for.
"I s-should go," Mihashi says when it occurs to him that maybe his catcher's sorry for wanting him to leave. He gives back the hospital gown. Thinks, as Abe takes it from him, that maybe he should've taken it home. Washed it. Because he made it messy.
Too late now.
"Thank you," he says. "For helping me."
Abe nods. He looks upset. Like he'd probably like to be left alone.
"Yeah," is all he says. "I'll, uh. See you tomorrow."
~*~*~*~
Mihashi lies to his mom when she comes home, that evening. Tells her that studying with Abe went fine. Tells her that he found out Abe wants to be a doctor, too, which isn't a lie but doesn't really make up for lying about their study session going well. Makes him feel kind of bad when she says she thinks that's really neat. That he's lucky to have such a nice friend who has such nice goals.
Which he maybe doesn't, anymore. Even though he really wants to. Have Abe as a friend. Maybe as more.
He touches his pillow with his hand after he goes to bed, that night. Cups the corner of it. Rubs his thumb over the pillowcase. Kisses it. Like he thinks he might want to kiss Abe. Because that's what people do before they do other stuff. Together. Usually. He's pretty sure. Even though he didn't get to do it at all. Not even after he and Abe did stuff. Maybe won't get to ever. Probably.
Unless ...
He stops kissing his pillow. Rolls onto his back. Shifts when he lands on a baseball. Pulls it out from under his side. Rubs his fingers over the stitches.
Abe wanted him to get a physical. Wants him to get a physical. Which is why he invited him over in the first place. To help him get over his fears. To get him to promise he'd get a physical done. So he could pitch at Koushien.
Because Abe wants to catch for him at Koushien. Wants to win at Koushien. Might, if he and Mihashi work out a strategy together. Like they did for all the other games. The ones that they won already. In order to get to Koushien.
If Abe finds out that Mihashi's going for a physical ...
Mihashi tightens his grip around the ball in his hand. Sinking pitch. If he tensed his arm just right. He moves his fingers. Slider. Again. Fastball. Shift in stance. Ball. Just-just-outside the strike-zone. Where the batter would probably swing at it. Wouldn't hit it.
He smiles in the darkness.
If Abe knows Mihashi's going for a physical, he'll be happy. He'll want to talk about strategy with him again. Study with him to keep his grades from being bad. Which means they'll be together. Without the others. Alone. Without anyone else. Just them.
And then, maybe. Maybe Abe will kiss him. Or maybe he won't get mad if Mihashi kisses him.
Maybe.
I'll tell him tomorrow, Mihashi thinks. At practice. First thing.
And then I'll kiss him.
Right there.
On the field.
Except he won't. Not that last part. He's pretty sure.
It puts a smile on his face anyway. Makes his tummy feel warm inside. Tomorrow, he'll do it. He'll tell Abe. Thank Abe. Right there in front of everybody.
Then everything will be All Right. Better than all right.
He grins into the darkness, the grin slowly melting into a smile that stays on his lips, long after the rest of him has relaxed and drifted to sleep. The ball in his hand slips from his fingers when they go lax around it. Rests on the mattress beside him.
Tomorrow, he thinks, even in his dreams.
Tomorrow.
<< part ii
the end!
I don't know why this section gave me such trouble. Maybe because it was my favorite section of the original story? I don't think so. I think it's Mihashi. He gives me fits. Not as badly as he did at the start of this, but. Still.
And he may or may not have killed my ability to write Abe. I plan to go write some Abe POV fiction next to make sure I haven't lost that completely.
After I go for a bike ride.
And bake some muffins.
Enjoy the fiction!
You can find the original story here: part i • part ii • part iii
And the Mihashi-POV sequel here: part i • part ii • part iii
Physical Therapy
part iii
by mistr3ss Quickly
Abe's gone longer than Mihashi's expecting, but he does come back, a jar of petroleum jelly in his hand and a glare on his face, but even that isn't all that scary because he tells Mihashi to relax first thing. Says it kind of softly, like he means it.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he says.
Which he doesn't need to say. Abe would never hurt anyone. Especially Mihashi.
But. Still.
"I'm going to lubricate my finger and check you for, ah-for signs of drug use," he says. "It might feel a little awkward, but it won't hurt. Try to relax. Tell me if anything hurts."
Mihashi's back kind of aches where he's been bent over the bed. Shoulders sore where his arms have been stretched back, holding his gown closed because his butt's bare and the gown would leave it bare for Abe to see if he didn't hold it closed. His neck feels a little stiff where he's got his head turned far enough for him to see his catcher.
But that's not what Abe meant when he said to tell him if anything hurt, so Mihashi keeps it to himself and nods to let his catcher know he understands. Keeps his butt covered, too, because letting it be uncovered would be like mooning Abe, and that's something he never wants to do. Never-ever-ever.
"Please open your gown and spread your legs," Abe says, once he's got the jar open and his fingers slick. They look bigger, wrapped in rubber and shiny with petroleum jelly. Stronger. Mihashi's body twitches. Inside. Which feels kind of weird. Kind of good. "Just a bit. Feet shoulder-width apart will be just fine."
Mihashi's cock is starting to stand up again. But that was okay last time, when Abe was looking right at it no less, so it should be okay this time, too. It's pressed against the edge of Abe's mattress anyway. Abe probably won't even notice it.
Maybe.
So Mihashi lets go of his gown, lets the cotton fall open around him. Reaches back and pulls himself open so that Abe won't have any trouble finding his hole. He didn't have any trouble when he tried it himself, but that's because it was his own body. And he was in the bath. Didn't mind getting conditioner on himself because he was going to wash it right off as soon as he was done. Abe probably won't want to make him messy because then he'll need to use the bath and that would be a bother. So it's better. To make sure it's easy. For Abe.
His body twitches inside again when he pulls himself open. Twitches on the outside, too. Probably. He can feel his hole moving, trying to pull in on itself. Which feels good, feels like it did when it tried to keep his finger out while he was trying to push his finger in.
Only he's not alone this time. Abe's with him. Probably watching him. Maybe thinking he's strange. Because he likes it. Doing what he's doing.
But Abe isn't strange and isn't mean, Abe wants to help him and wants to be a good doctor, so he doesn't say anything bad about what Mihashi's body is doing, he takes a deep breath and comes closer, close enough that Mihashi can feel the floor shifting under his weight.
"I'm going to start the exam now," he says. His voice sounds funny. Maybe because Mihashi's hearing it with only one ear, the other ear pressed into the bedspread. Because he's hearing it through the pounding rush of blood in his ears, his heart beating faster than it should, considering he's just lying there. Not pitching. Not moving. Not doing anything. Holding still. "Take a deep breath. Relax. Tell me if anything hurts. It shouldn't, so if it does, that means there's something wrong. Okay?"
Mihashi nods. His body's twitching a lot, now. Getting impatient like his hands do when he's on the mound and wants to pitch but has to wait for the batter to signal that he's ready for it. Wanting to move. Wanting to feel.
He tightens his fingers where they're holding him open like he tightens them on the ball before pitching. Swallows around the noise his throat wants to make in response.
Abe's finger touches him. Lightly. Just hard enough for him to feel the finger-tip pushing petroleum jelly and rubber against him, right in the middle of his hole. Where he's sensitive. Then harder, pushing through. Opening him. Making the muscles move. Working with them. Like he works on Mihashi's shoulder when Mihashi doesn't stretch enough.
His other hand's touching, too. Holding Mihashi open. Keeping him open. So that it's okay when the other hand pushes. When his finger pushes inside. Deeper than Mihashi's fingers went. Only because they were attached to Mihashi's hand. Because Mihashi was being careful. Not to strain his wrist. To make it so he couldn't pitch.
He can hear Abe breathing, behind him. Breathing hard. Which is okay because he's breathing hard, too.
"That's as far as I'll need to go," Abe says, even though he's only got part of his finger inside. Not all of it like Mihashi was expecting. "Is it okay? Doesn't hurt?"
It doesn't. Feels like it's not enough, but that's just frustrating. Not painful.
Shaking his head doesn't feel weird. Pushing back against his catcher's hand, just to get a little bit more of that finger, a little bit more of that feeling, the tingle and stretch of being rubbed, doesn't feel weird, either.
"F-feels okay," he says. It's a lie. It feels amazing. But it's okay because he sucks at lying to Abe so Abe probably knows he really means that it feels good.
Which he must because he pushes in deeper like Mihashi wanted him to, pushes in until Mihashi can feel knuckles pressing against his bottom, can feel the pressure of his catcher's finger lodged up inside him, nice and deep and squirming, moving better than Mihashi's own finger moved. It touches something that makes everything tense up inside. In a good way. Good enough that Mihashi can't keep from making a noise. Kind of like when he's tickled. Only it's on his inside and it doesn't hurt like getting tickled usually does, doesn't make him want to get away. Makes him want to do other things. Things he shouldn't do in front of his catcher. Because that would be weird.
But Abe isn't stopping, isn't frowning at him (he's pretty sure) or telling him he's strange or gross or bad. Doesn't do more than what he's doing already, moving his finger in and out a little and wiggling it so that it tickles where Mihashi didn't know he was ticklish, before. Breathing hard through his mouth, his breath coming out warm where the hospital gown's slipped, baring Mihashi's shoulder to the chill of the room.
Mihashi's penis is wet. He can tell from how it rubs against the hospital gown. Almost kind of worries about making a mess of Abe's bed, but. It doesn't seem so important. Not right now.
Certainly not when Abe leans forward and says his name. Not when Abe's finger moves, pushing deep enough that his knuckles make the stretch feel the biggest it's felt. Not when Abe asks him a question, an important question.
"Is this okay?" he says. His voice still sounds funny. Makes Mihashi's entire body shudder. Makes his hole clench tight where Abe's trying his best to keep it open.
Question. Needs an answer. "Y-yes," Mihashi says. His voice cracks. Sounds strange, even to his ears. "I l-like it. A lot."
Likes it even better when Abe makes a sound in the back of his throat and moves, touching more. Pressing against Mihashi. With his cock. Which is hard. And warm. Pressed against the back of Mihashi's leg.
Oh god.
Abe leans forward and touches Mihashi with his other hand. Reaching around him. Pushing the hospital gown out of the way. Which would worry Mihashi because his penis is really sticky, making a mess, but Abe's smart enough to keep it from making too much of a mess, he puts his hand around Mihashi's cock and pulls. Smears around the mess Mihashi's made. Keeps it on his hand. On Mihashi's cock. Not on the bedspread.
Mihashi's mouth moves without input from his brain. It's easier that way. Means his words don't come out garbled or weird. He stutters a little, maybe, yes coming out y-yes, but that's just because he's distracted. Because his cock feels good in Abe's hand. Just as good as it does in his own hand. Better.
Because it's Abe.
Abe, whose other hand is keeping Mihashi spread open just fine. Who might get mad if Mihashi's cock makes his bedspread messy. So Mihashi lets go of the grip he's got on his own ass and grips the bed instead, keeps himself braced so his cock won't touch the bedspread, won't smear it with the precome Abe's hand is bringing to the tip with every stroke. He kind of sort of expects his catcher to fuss at him to be careful not to grip too hard because his fingers might get hurt if he does, but Abe doesn't say anything about it so Mihashi stops worrying and focuses on breathing because he's getting close. Feeling all woozy and hot and good. Pushing back against Abe's cock, still pressed tight against him. Forward into Abe's hand, wrapped tight around his cock.
He's not going to last long. Doesn't usually, anyway. Didn't when he experimented in the bath, curious what the rectal exam might feel like.
But.
He tries to warn his catcher. Doesn't get the words out very well.
But it's okay because Abe's smart so he figures it out, and he's Abe so he doesn't get angry, doesn't tell Mihashi he's bad for getting so messy. He moves his hand faster, which feels. So good. Tells Mihashi it's okay. Tells him he knows already. That Mihashi's close. Going to come.
Which means it's okay. Means it's okay.
More than okay when it hits. Much more than okay.
Because it's Abe who's bringing him off, Abe touching him. Abe's finger moving inside of him, Abe's hand working his cock. Abe's cock rubbing against the back of his leg. Harder when Mihashi bucks, pushing into his hand. Panting hard. Leaning against Mihashi like Mihashi's leaned on him countless times before, only this time it's different because it's Abe, Abe touching him, Abe wanting him, Abe hard and breathless and-
His throat's raw after he comes. His feet are numb, toes scrabbling at the floor, trying to hold him up. He's tired, slipping into the muzzy afterglow that comes only with a really good orgasm. But he fights it, fights it like he fights the fatigue he feels sometimes towards the end of a game. Because Abe's still hard, still touching him. Rubbing at his hole with the finger that was inside him, before. Making him messy with his other hand, holding him still even though he's got Mihashi's semen on his glove.
He's making a lot of noise. Well. A lot of quiet noise. Holding onto Mihashi's hips like men hold onto women when they have sex with them. With men, too, in the manga Mihashi maybe kind of bought after Haruna told him that Abe maybe kind of liked men better than women. Only he's not rubbing his cock against (inside) Mihashi's ass like the boys in the manga did. He's rubbing against Mihashi's leg. Shaking all over. Whimpering.
Mihashi's hole twitches. His insides feel funny again. Like he maybe wants to touch himself. Even though he just came.
It gets worse (better?) when Abe starts to come. When he makes a noise, high up in his throat, like he can't quite breathe. When he starts moving faster, like he's having sex with Mihashi's leg. Fingers digging into Mihashi's hips. Forehead warm where it rests on Mihashi's shoulder. A little sweaty. Tickling where Abe's hair brushes Mihashi's skin.
Better than masturbating. Better than any fantasy or dirty magazine. Better than anything. Because he's not alone. Because it's real.
Because it's Abe.
Abe, looking at him funny when it's over. Not really frowning but not kissing him or touching him or any of the things Mihashi thinks about sometimes when he's gotten off and trying to imagine what might come afterwards, were he with someone instead of alone and mopping up the mess he's made. Abe blushing. His face red. Redder than it should be, just from working hard to make Mihashi feel good. Not quite meeting Mihashi's eyes when Mihashi turns to look at him. Glaring at the floor instead.
"I'm sorry," he says straight away when Mihashi turns all the way around. Even though he doesn't have anything to be sorry for. "That's not-I shouldn't have done that to you. Your doctor won't do that. It's illegal, it's wrong. I'm-I'm sorry."
Even though he still doesn't have anything to be sorry for. But. Saying that would be weird. Because maybe he is sorry. Maybe he didn't want to do what he did. Not with Mihashi.
"I d-don't mind," Mihashi says, just to be sure. "Because it's Abe-kun."
He'd say more, if he weren't distracted. If Abe weren't peeling off the gloves. Exposing his hands. Those hands. So strong and careful, good hands. Doctor-hands. Doctor-hands Mihashi trusts. So much.
"You can clean up first, if you want," Abe says when Mihashi doesn't manage anything but a mute stare, his attention split between his catcher's hands and the front of his catcher's scrubs, the cotton wet with semen, with Abe's semen. Where Abe came. For him. "The bathroom's across the hall. I'll get you a towel."
Which means it's over. Means Abe doesn't want to do more. Mihashi nods, trying to ignore the twinge of regret in his stomach. He pulls at his hospital gown, gets it righted so nothing's showing. Gathers his clothes. Crosses the hall.
The towel Abe gives him smells nice. Like the shirt Abe loaned him once when he forgot his own at home and couldn't wear his practice jersey to class because it was sweaty and streaked with dirt. Smells familiar. Comforting.
He cleans himself up at the sink, doesn't bother with the shower. Washes his own semen off his hip, scrubbing until his skin's pink because the petroleum jelly mixed with his semen doesn't come off as easily as he's expecting it to. Cleans his penis. The smears of petroleum jelly on his balls. Reaches behind himself to clean the jelly smeared around his asshole. Startles a little when he discovers that he's still really sensitive back there. Really sensitive. Feels kind of stretched. Warmer than usual. Softer under his fingertips.
Which explains why it felt good when Abe touched him there, even after he'd come. When Abe rubbed him. Why it made him feel like he might want to come again, even though he's never been able to come more than once that quickly. Not even when he tried. Not even when he used Tajima's magazines to help him.
Tajima's magazines never had anything like this in them. Neither did the manga he bought. He tried. Once. Before his mom found it and replaced with a baseball magazine, even though he'd hidden it really well, someplace he didn't think she'd find it. Which he knows she did, even though she never said anything about it.
Mihashi's stomach twists. It occurs to him that maybe his mom didn't say anything to him about it because it's bad. Because it isn't something he should like. Maybe Haruna-san told him that Abe liked it as a prank. On Abe. Because they don't get along well. Because he knew it would be bad if Mihashi knew.
Which means Abe might be mad at him because he knows Mihashi knows. Because he knows Mihashi likes it. Getting touched. With Abe's finger. There.
Because he knows Mihashi knows that Abe maybe (probably) likes getting touched there, too.
His hands are shaking when he reaches for his clothes and pulls them on. Still shaking when he reaches for the bathroom door-handle.
Abe's waiting for him in his room. Not frowning as much as Mihashi'd expected. Says he's sorry straight away. Even though he doesn't have anything to be sorry for.
"I s-should go," Mihashi says when it occurs to him that maybe his catcher's sorry for wanting him to leave. He gives back the hospital gown. Thinks, as Abe takes it from him, that maybe he should've taken it home. Washed it. Because he made it messy.
Too late now.
"Thank you," he says. "For helping me."
Abe nods. He looks upset. Like he'd probably like to be left alone.
"Yeah," is all he says. "I'll, uh. See you tomorrow."
~*~*~*~
Mihashi lies to his mom when she comes home, that evening. Tells her that studying with Abe went fine. Tells her that he found out Abe wants to be a doctor, too, which isn't a lie but doesn't really make up for lying about their study session going well. Makes him feel kind of bad when she says she thinks that's really neat. That he's lucky to have such a nice friend who has such nice goals.
Which he maybe doesn't, anymore. Even though he really wants to. Have Abe as a friend. Maybe as more.
He touches his pillow with his hand after he goes to bed, that night. Cups the corner of it. Rubs his thumb over the pillowcase. Kisses it. Like he thinks he might want to kiss Abe. Because that's what people do before they do other stuff. Together. Usually. He's pretty sure. Even though he didn't get to do it at all. Not even after he and Abe did stuff. Maybe won't get to ever. Probably.
Unless ...
He stops kissing his pillow. Rolls onto his back. Shifts when he lands on a baseball. Pulls it out from under his side. Rubs his fingers over the stitches.
Abe wanted him to get a physical. Wants him to get a physical. Which is why he invited him over in the first place. To help him get over his fears. To get him to promise he'd get a physical done. So he could pitch at Koushien.
Because Abe wants to catch for him at Koushien. Wants to win at Koushien. Might, if he and Mihashi work out a strategy together. Like they did for all the other games. The ones that they won already. In order to get to Koushien.
If Abe finds out that Mihashi's going for a physical ...
Mihashi tightens his grip around the ball in his hand. Sinking pitch. If he tensed his arm just right. He moves his fingers. Slider. Again. Fastball. Shift in stance. Ball. Just-just-outside the strike-zone. Where the batter would probably swing at it. Wouldn't hit it.
He smiles in the darkness.
If Abe knows Mihashi's going for a physical, he'll be happy. He'll want to talk about strategy with him again. Study with him to keep his grades from being bad. Which means they'll be together. Without the others. Alone. Without anyone else. Just them.
And then, maybe. Maybe Abe will kiss him. Or maybe he won't get mad if Mihashi kisses him.
Maybe.
I'll tell him tomorrow, Mihashi thinks. At practice. First thing.
And then I'll kiss him.
Right there.
On the field.
Except he won't. Not that last part. He's pretty sure.
It puts a smile on his face anyway. Makes his tummy feel warm inside. Tomorrow, he'll do it. He'll tell Abe. Thank Abe. Right there in front of everybody.
Then everything will be All Right. Better than all right.
He grins into the darkness, the grin slowly melting into a smile that stays on his lips, long after the rest of him has relaxed and drifted to sleep. The ball in his hand slips from his fingers when they go lax around it. Rests on the mattress beside him.
Tomorrow, he thinks, even in his dreams.
Tomorrow.
<< part ii
the end!