006 - Eridan : Be totally unaware of who you're really speaking to.

[misterwwizard]

(PHONE, FAILFILTERED FROM CONDESCE)

Okay, so I know you're all really fuckin' worried about me defectin' to her or whatever with regardin' my past history a' bein' a cowardly douchefish or whatever the fuck you're callin' me

Comments

Phone

[nolongeralpha]

Right, I just remembered I never got around to asking Kanaya or Terezi what your douchebag history is. [y'know, if he can bring himself to care long enough to find one of them]

[misterwwizard]

Long story short, I killed my friends an' destroyed the matriorb feelin' after declarin' I was gonna go join Jack Noir. I don't really like talkin' about it...

[nolongeralpha]

Wow you sure did a good job of talking about it though.

What's a matriorb, besides something that's better off undestroyed?

[misterwwizard]

That's not the point!

Well... it was somethin' that would be allowin' us to save our race. Somethin' that would a' been givin' us hope.

[nolongeralpha]

And you kicked it in the nutsack, nice going. Does this have to do with the whole buckets and grubs thing and how you guys can't just get pregnant like normal animals?

[misterwwizard]

Well, yeah. It would a' hatched another mother grub....

An' shut up. You wouldn't understand about our reproductive system. It's hard. An' no one understands!

[Quite possibly the worst thing you could say to someone who would take that out of context, Eridan.]

[nolongeralpha]

[Dave is so culturally sensitive]

Wow, sorry I asked, I did not need to hear about your stiff, inscrutable genitalia, in fact, the more inscrutable they remain, the better I will feel.

[misterwwizard]

Who said about anythin' bein' stiff! I'm no stiff! I've never been stiff!
[Bravo, Eridan.]

[nolongeralpha]

Never in your whole life? You poor, poor erectily-dysfunct bastard.

[misterwwizard]

Nope! Never been stiff! I'm loose an' flexible an' I just flow where the waters are takin' me.

[IT KEEPS HAPPENING.]

[nolongeralpha]

Wow man, getting a little more detailed than most people like to hear in public conversation. Don't really need to hear what you flow where, keep that on the fetish sites boy.