004 - Forevver Alone.

[misterwwizard]

Phone, unfiltered.[Eridan's been pretty confident about this whole new leaf he's been turning. He's got a moirail, a potential matesprit... Everything. Hell, he's even sure about this whole human homecoming dance thing...Doesn't care about filters for this because hey, he wants the whole world to hear his declarations

Comments

[dreambubbly]

[If this had been before her conversation with Kanaya? She would have said yes. But she knows now and her voice is strained from all the crying she's done, is still doing if her sniffles and all are any indicator.]

...when were you going to tell me, Eridan?

[misterwwizard]

[Oh... he knows exactly what she's talking about. He sighs...his heart sinking at her tears.]

Well Fef... I was gonna be tellin' you, wanted to wait until I proved I was changed an' things weren't just startin' up, to avoid hurtin' both a' us...wanted you to hear it when you knew I wouldn't be pullin' such a stunt again.

[dreambubbly]

In other words, you were going to wait till after I'd committed to this thing and put my aquatic bladder out there for you to take and you'd done it, and then go "Oh by the way, I killed you and then went and destroyed the Matriorb so there is no way that our species has a future, but I'm not going to do it again!"

[And she breaks down crying again.]

[misterwwizard]

That... That's not what I was meanin'... I swear...

[He's starting to cry too.]

I'm sorry...I couldn't bear to be seein' your face all ruined when you were so happy with how things were goin'...

[dreambubbly]

...but isn't it more important to base this kind of thing on honesty?

Jegus, Eridan, I - I should hate you for it but I just feel sad. Reely sad.

I was happy. I was reely glubbing happy. And I meant it when I said I believed in what you were trying to do, but now I feel like I can't tell what's a lie and what's true, and that's the part that hurts the worst...

[misterwwizard]

Fef...

[his voice sounds sullen, defeated, even. He's sobbing, too... He was trying so hard, after all, and that one little mistake fucked it all up].

If you're wantin' to be hatin' me right now... go ahead. I feel like a real douchefish for keepin' that from you I just didn't know how to go about tellin' you. Especially where I'm from on the timeline You were hatin' me an' here... you weren't... I fully expected you to. I guess I got too wrapped up in takin' that for granted. Was mullin' over it several times an'...

I'm just...It's not like I didn't get away with what I did, either. I got killed. An since I don't have my recouperacoonEverythin' I did keeps replayin' in my nightmares night in an' night out, me feelin' every bit a' pain I dealt and was dealt...

[dreambubbly]

You're not glubbing it, Eridan! [A statement that's said through her tears.]

I can't find it in my aquatic bladder to just suddenly swim from one side of the quadrants to the other. I feel like a dead fish just floating around uselessly, waiting for some other seabeast to make it its lunch.

I know you die after I do, back home. But Jegus, I...

I'd been trying to make the best of things here because I thought there was still some glubbing hope back there. And I - maybe I'm the moron here for thinking that sea change of yours was because you maybe knew there was something to hope for, too...

[misterwwizard]

I...

[He just.. doesn't really know what to do anymore. He's upset her before, yes, but never like this.]

I'm really tryin' to make a new start here, Fef... I'm still tryin' to find hope. Even if when we all go back an' nothin ends up changin'... I want to be makin' a second chance...I want this to go right. Wanted this to go right especially after seein' how happy you an' I were for that short while.

I know you can't be forgivin' what I've done an' all... but...

this changin' thing is harder than it looks you fuckin' said it yourself. I'm hopin' you've still got some faith in me...

[dreambubbly]

...yeah. I did say that. And I...I think there's a little still there because...there was that little bit of time when...

...but right now what I need more than anything else is time. I've got a lot of thoughts swimming around in my thinkpan and I need to sort all of it out.

[misterwwizard]

[he sighs...]

If it's time you're wantin'...I'll be givin' it to you.

If you need me...well... you know.