(no subject)
I am so alone right now. I had a few drinks with everyone at the BG, and I dunno, listening to everyone talk, it made me really upset. I am so alone. I miss Rachel so much, and I'll never have her back.
I don't really have anyone anymore. I can remember lying on my back in bed, and looking over at her, in her little cocoon sleeping, and she looked so wonderful and peaceful. Now she is gone. I can't go back there. I couldn't stop that from going away. How is it that I felt closer to her in 6 months than I have to Miguel in 10 years? How is it that while I still talk to Miggy I don't feel like he is a vital part of my life anymore. I don't understand him. I love him, I love all of my friends as if they were family, and I don't understand him that much anymore. And yet- I don't know. I am too upset to write right now.
I don't really have anyone anymore. I can remember lying on my back in bed, and looking over at her, in her little cocoon sleeping, and she looked so wonderful and peaceful. Now she is gone. I can't go back there. I couldn't stop that from going away. How is it that I felt closer to her in 6 months than I have to Miguel in 10 years? How is it that while I still talk to Miggy I don't feel like he is a vital part of my life anymore. I don't understand him. I love him, I love all of my friends as if they were family, and I don't understand him that much anymore. And yet- I don't know. I am too upset to write right now.