I Know That I Might Seem A Little Aimless
Click to view:: My Fair Lady ::
:: The Bird And The Bee::
I started my day today with comfort food, in anticipation of a bad day. I know it's altogether a terrible way to live and an entirely defeatist attitude. But as I was finishing my takeaway packet of fan choy and siew mai, I think I might have figured how I have arrived at where I am.
It starts with the absence of a certain sense of cheerfulness.
Which soon descends into pessimism and/or whatever product of negativity that has filled the void.
It demands soothing. And hence comfort foods.
Comfort foods are, in general, not your usual carrot cubes and celery sticks.
Hence you get heavier.
And fatter.
And when all that happens, you decide to fuck your looks altogether.
And you allow the balding to continue.
And you prod and poke your face without caring what might remain.
Soon you become hideous.
And you sulk.
And in every aspect of your life, this sense of doom permeates and propagates.
Thus completing but just one vicious cycle of misery.
I can't wish to look like what I was again.
I can't wish to spontaneously be happy again.
But I guess I can just remind myself to be not feel empty.
So that even if I haven't got joy, I won't be letting anything else in.
I will create my own happiness.
But let it be done in small steps first.
:)