Long Time Coming (out)
Both this entry and the subject of this entry -
Christmas was great. It was short and sweet. Short because I had no vacation time from work. Sweet because it was just kind of all what christmas with the family should be.
The biggest news: after 10 years of being out to all my friends, co-workers, etc. (read: everyone but my parents and one brother) I came out to my parents over Christmas dinner.
That's right, I totally pulled a "I'm gay, pass the mashed potatoes."
No, it wasn't QUITE like that, but it was totally smack in the middle of the meal. Here's why:
Knowing both that I'm turing thirty in the coming year and also that I've been out to litereally everyone I know excluding a few family members, I decided it was really time to man up and do the damn thing. It's been a concern of mine for years, but I enver found the guts to just start the conversation. Of course, when do I choose to? CHRISTMAS FUCKING DINNER!! However, it was just my parents and I so it's not like it was some family-gathering-ruining revelation. I, however, was a fucking wreck. I'd stressed myself out about it the whole time I was home - so that when it came time to sit down and eat, I was shaking and thought I might vomit. The REALLY ludicrous part is that I had no reason to feel this way. I never once in all my years thought that my parents would react negatively to the news. True to form, they took it like champs. In fact, (as suspected) they said they'd always wondered, but respected me enough not to poke around in my business. They're really amazing folks and I'm pretty fucking lucky to have them. The funny part is this: I was crying like a titty-baby and they were totally chill. I could NOT get it together - just a cryin' into my dinner napkin.
I'm 100% glad it finally happened. I immediately felt SO MUCH relief. and the really odd part is that it opened up HUGE lines of communication between my parents and I. We ended up talking about all KINDS of shit that was a part of our family history that I may never have known. talk about a catharsis and a revelation.
That was my big christmas present to myself.
Oh, and I bought myself a cello.