Fic: A Not So Quiet Christmas
I wrote the story for the Secret Santa over at doctor_donna. I figure it's safe to share now that all the authors have been revealed.
Title: A Not So Quiet Christmas
Characters: The Doctor, Donna
Prompt: Doctor & Donna friendship or more, trademark humorous banter would be wonderful. Something with a hint of fluff that makes me go "Awwww!" would also be hugely appreciated. Christmas Dinner/Christmas Day with just the two of them in the TARDIS would just about make my year :D
Words: 1347
Author's Note: What started off as a nice, sweet fic for shining_moment took on a cracktastic life of it's own. Much like an average day in the Doctor's life, I suppose.
"Impossible!" the Doctor exclaimed, grabbing Donna's hand as they dashed down the street.
"Seriously, it's always like this for you, isn't it?" she demanded. She skirted around a wooden cart as people behind them screamed. "Oh, we'll just pop out for some quiet Christmas shopping, Donna," she said, mimicking his earlier words. "It'll be lovely. You'll see." The sound of breaking wood filled the air. "Really, this is as bad as shopping at Marks and Spencer on Christmas Eve," she complained as they both instinctively ducked to avoid the shards of wood flying over their heads.
"Really, I can't be blamed for this," the Doctor protested, dragging Donna behind him as he darted around a corner and into a doorway. Releasing her hand, he began rummaging through his pockets. "It's Earth in the 19th century, how could I possibly know something like this would happen?"
"That's no excuse," she said, battling at his hands with her own so she could reach into his inside pocket. "You should've known that Father Christmas was a robot." Without pausing, she pulled out his sonic screwdriver and slapped it into the palm of his hand. "Santa is always a robot!"
The Doctor gave her a wide grin as he trained the screwdriver on the door lock.
"Fantastic, isn't it?" he asked. Donna couldn't help but grin back at him.
"Brilliant, actually." A nearby crash caused her to jump in alarm.
"Best be on our way," the Doctor decided, pushing the door open and darting into the dark building, Donna close behind. She slammed the door shut just as the robotic Father Christmas lumbered around the corner.
"We can't just leave robot Santa to terrorize Victorian London," Donna protested as the Doctor shoved the sonic screwdriver into her hands. He patted his pockets, as if he was searching for something.
"Of course not," he said, his face scrunching up in confusion. "Why would we do that?" He began emptying his pockets on to a wooden table. Donna rolled her eyes and walked around the small room. "The real question," he continued, snatching the sonic screwdriver back, "is why is there a robotic Father Christmas roaming the streets of Victorian London."
"I'm assuming it's a plot to take over the world somehow," Donna replied airily as she wandered around the room, peering into cupboards. "Oh, you are kidding!" she exclaimed as she peeked though a slightly open door. The Doctor looked up from the bits and pieces he was welding together with the sonic screwdriver.
"What is it?" he asked, his face filled with curiosity. Raising her eyebrows at him, Donna gave the door a gentle shove, opening it wider so the Doctor could see into the other room.
"An entire army of robot Santas."
"Well, now," the Doctor said, rubbing his ear, his face scrunched in confusion. "that's a bit unexpected." He slipped his glasses onto his face and darted into the room, scanning one of the red fur-covered automatons with the screwdriver. "Well, the technology is right for 19th century Earth," he murmured.
"Is that good or bad?" Donna murmured as she came up behind him. She clutched at his arm as she peered around him, not entirely convinced the robot wasn't going to leap up and grab at them. If that was going to happen, she definitely wanted the Doctor between her and those metallic hands. The Doctor considered her question as he shifted to scan a different robot.
"Well, I suppose it's good in that there shouldn't be any surprises when we try to dismantle them," he said, studying the readings from the sonic screwdriver. Donna punched him in the arm when he paused for too long.
"And the bad?" she demanded. "Because there's always a downside with you."
Voices entering the room prevented him from answering. Grabbing her by the hand, the Doctor dragged Donna back into the room they'd come from, pushing the door closed behind them. He left it open just enough that they could hear and see what was going on in the other room.
"As you can see," they could hear the voice say. "my robot army is just about ready to infiltrate the most elite of houses. Even that of the Queen!" There was a rustling in the room, just out of the Doctor and Donna's line of vision. "Oh, what a glorious Christmas this will be! In mere hours, I will be the ruler of the entire British Empire!"
"All this and that's your grand plan?" the Doctor asked derisively, bursting into the room. Donna threw up her hands in disgust.
"Why do we even bother hiding?" she asked of no one in particular before following him. The Doctor had his hands buried in his pockets as he strode among the motionless metal bodies.
"All this, just to take over the monarchy?" he was asking. "On Christmas?" He turned to face Donna. "What is it with Christmas and people feeling the need to take over the world?" he asked her. Donna straightened her jacket with pretended nonchalance, wishing that, just once, he would let her in on whatever plan he had before he put it into action.
"They must be banking on all that 'good will toward men' flying around," she suggested. The Doctor seemed to consider this.
"You're probably right," he agreed after a moment. He turned back to the two gentlemen staring at them in open mouth disbelief. "You're clearly men of money," he said, gesturing at their obviously expensive clothing. "Why build an army of robot Santas in order to overthrow the Queen?" The Doctor turned to Donna without waiting for a response. "What do you think?" he asked. "Blow them up?"
"Oh, absolutely," Donna agreed. "That would probably be the most direct course of action."
"Right," the Doctor said, turning back to the speechless villains, taking off his glasses and tucking them into his inside pocket. "Now that that's settled, I just wanted to say…" The Doctor whipped out the sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the small device he'd stuck on one of the robots. "RUN!"
Grabbing Donna's hand, the Doctor dragged her from the room just as the first robot blew up, starting a chain reaction among the rest. The concussion of the blasts threw them to the ground just as they darted from the house and into the street. Debris rained down on them, much to Donna's annoyance.
"I just bought this jacket," she snapped as they scrambled back to their feet. The Doctor stared at her blankly for a moment.
"Yes, I know. I was there," he said, completely oblivious to the splattered mud and metal bits that stuck to them. Sighing, Donna merely rolled her eyes as the Doctor dashed through the crowd that was beginning to gather around the now burning house, his long brown jacket flapping behind him.
"What about the one we saw earlier?" she called out as she followed him. The Doctor skidded to a halt, grabbing her just before she collided with him.
"You mean, that one?" The robotic Santa they'd seen earlier was now aimlessly turning in circles. It collided with a stone wall, causing it to fall to the ground, it's metal arms flailing helplessly. The Doctor ran over and with a quick blast of sonic energy, disabled it completely. "All taken care of!" he said with a grin.
"Let's go," Donna said, with a shake of her head, "before someone decides to ask questions." Putting the sonic screwdriver back into his pocket, the Doctor held his arm out to Donna.
"Back to the TARDIS, then?"
"Absolutely," she replied, tucking her arm through his. They set off to the alley where the ship waited patiently for them, away from the chaos they'd managed to cause.
"The Christmas turkey should definitely be done by now," the Doctor said casually, unlocking the door. Donna gave one last look around.
"You really need to find less destructive ways to pass the time," she said, slipping inside. The Doctor grinned as he followed her.
"Well, where's the fun in that?"
Title: A Not So Quiet Christmas
Characters: The Doctor, Donna
Prompt: Doctor & Donna friendship or more, trademark humorous banter would be wonderful. Something with a hint of fluff that makes me go "Awwww!" would also be hugely appreciated. Christmas Dinner/Christmas Day with just the two of them in the TARDIS would just about make my year :D
Words: 1347
Author's Note: What started off as a nice, sweet fic for shining_moment took on a cracktastic life of it's own. Much like an average day in the Doctor's life, I suppose.
"Impossible!" the Doctor exclaimed, grabbing Donna's hand as they dashed down the street.
"Seriously, it's always like this for you, isn't it?" she demanded. She skirted around a wooden cart as people behind them screamed. "Oh, we'll just pop out for some quiet Christmas shopping, Donna," she said, mimicking his earlier words. "It'll be lovely. You'll see." The sound of breaking wood filled the air. "Really, this is as bad as shopping at Marks and Spencer on Christmas Eve," she complained as they both instinctively ducked to avoid the shards of wood flying over their heads.
"Really, I can't be blamed for this," the Doctor protested, dragging Donna behind him as he darted around a corner and into a doorway. Releasing her hand, he began rummaging through his pockets. "It's Earth in the 19th century, how could I possibly know something like this would happen?"
"That's no excuse," she said, battling at his hands with her own so she could reach into his inside pocket. "You should've known that Father Christmas was a robot." Without pausing, she pulled out his sonic screwdriver and slapped it into the palm of his hand. "Santa is always a robot!"
The Doctor gave her a wide grin as he trained the screwdriver on the door lock.
"Fantastic, isn't it?" he asked. Donna couldn't help but grin back at him.
"Brilliant, actually." A nearby crash caused her to jump in alarm.
"Best be on our way," the Doctor decided, pushing the door open and darting into the dark building, Donna close behind. She slammed the door shut just as the robotic Father Christmas lumbered around the corner.
"We can't just leave robot Santa to terrorize Victorian London," Donna protested as the Doctor shoved the sonic screwdriver into her hands. He patted his pockets, as if he was searching for something.
"Of course not," he said, his face scrunching up in confusion. "Why would we do that?" He began emptying his pockets on to a wooden table. Donna rolled her eyes and walked around the small room. "The real question," he continued, snatching the sonic screwdriver back, "is why is there a robotic Father Christmas roaming the streets of Victorian London."
"I'm assuming it's a plot to take over the world somehow," Donna replied airily as she wandered around the room, peering into cupboards. "Oh, you are kidding!" she exclaimed as she peeked though a slightly open door. The Doctor looked up from the bits and pieces he was welding together with the sonic screwdriver.
"What is it?" he asked, his face filled with curiosity. Raising her eyebrows at him, Donna gave the door a gentle shove, opening it wider so the Doctor could see into the other room.
"An entire army of robot Santas."
"Well, now," the Doctor said, rubbing his ear, his face scrunched in confusion. "that's a bit unexpected." He slipped his glasses onto his face and darted into the room, scanning one of the red fur-covered automatons with the screwdriver. "Well, the technology is right for 19th century Earth," he murmured.
"Is that good or bad?" Donna murmured as she came up behind him. She clutched at his arm as she peered around him, not entirely convinced the robot wasn't going to leap up and grab at them. If that was going to happen, she definitely wanted the Doctor between her and those metallic hands. The Doctor considered her question as he shifted to scan a different robot.
"Well, I suppose it's good in that there shouldn't be any surprises when we try to dismantle them," he said, studying the readings from the sonic screwdriver. Donna punched him in the arm when he paused for too long.
"And the bad?" she demanded. "Because there's always a downside with you."
Voices entering the room prevented him from answering. Grabbing her by the hand, the Doctor dragged Donna back into the room they'd come from, pushing the door closed behind them. He left it open just enough that they could hear and see what was going on in the other room.
"As you can see," they could hear the voice say. "my robot army is just about ready to infiltrate the most elite of houses. Even that of the Queen!" There was a rustling in the room, just out of the Doctor and Donna's line of vision. "Oh, what a glorious Christmas this will be! In mere hours, I will be the ruler of the entire British Empire!"
"All this and that's your grand plan?" the Doctor asked derisively, bursting into the room. Donna threw up her hands in disgust.
"Why do we even bother hiding?" she asked of no one in particular before following him. The Doctor had his hands buried in his pockets as he strode among the motionless metal bodies.
"All this, just to take over the monarchy?" he was asking. "On Christmas?" He turned to face Donna. "What is it with Christmas and people feeling the need to take over the world?" he asked her. Donna straightened her jacket with pretended nonchalance, wishing that, just once, he would let her in on whatever plan he had before he put it into action.
"They must be banking on all that 'good will toward men' flying around," she suggested. The Doctor seemed to consider this.
"You're probably right," he agreed after a moment. He turned back to the two gentlemen staring at them in open mouth disbelief. "You're clearly men of money," he said, gesturing at their obviously expensive clothing. "Why build an army of robot Santas in order to overthrow the Queen?" The Doctor turned to Donna without waiting for a response. "What do you think?" he asked. "Blow them up?"
"Oh, absolutely," Donna agreed. "That would probably be the most direct course of action."
"Right," the Doctor said, turning back to the speechless villains, taking off his glasses and tucking them into his inside pocket. "Now that that's settled, I just wanted to say…" The Doctor whipped out the sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the small device he'd stuck on one of the robots. "RUN!"
Grabbing Donna's hand, the Doctor dragged her from the room just as the first robot blew up, starting a chain reaction among the rest. The concussion of the blasts threw them to the ground just as they darted from the house and into the street. Debris rained down on them, much to Donna's annoyance.
"I just bought this jacket," she snapped as they scrambled back to their feet. The Doctor stared at her blankly for a moment.
"Yes, I know. I was there," he said, completely oblivious to the splattered mud and metal bits that stuck to them. Sighing, Donna merely rolled her eyes as the Doctor dashed through the crowd that was beginning to gather around the now burning house, his long brown jacket flapping behind him.
"What about the one we saw earlier?" she called out as she followed him. The Doctor skidded to a halt, grabbing her just before she collided with him.
"You mean, that one?" The robotic Santa they'd seen earlier was now aimlessly turning in circles. It collided with a stone wall, causing it to fall to the ground, it's metal arms flailing helplessly. The Doctor ran over and with a quick blast of sonic energy, disabled it completely. "All taken care of!" he said with a grin.
"Let's go," Donna said, with a shake of her head, "before someone decides to ask questions." Putting the sonic screwdriver back into his pocket, the Doctor held his arm out to Donna.
"Back to the TARDIS, then?"
"Absolutely," she replied, tucking her arm through his. They set off to the alley where the ship waited patiently for them, away from the chaos they'd managed to cause.
"The Christmas turkey should definitely be done by now," the Doctor said casually, unlocking the door. Donna gave one last look around.
"You really need to find less destructive ways to pass the time," she said, slipping inside. The Doctor grinned as he followed her.
"Well, where's the fun in that?"