Close Encounters of the Salman Kind - PART II
So - by the time by which I gets to Times Square, behold they have already begun filming. And the man of the hour is not only there chewing the fat with the director but his mug is done up with more make-up on than a doll in a burlesque floor show. (Okay, okay - I’ll stop with my lame approximation of Damon Runyonesque prose now…)
I take some photos but am told to “Stand back! Stand back! No flash! No flash!!” Salman removes his t-shirt to put on a white dress a la Marilyn Monroe in the Seven Year Itch over his jeans. It’s a backless dress and I can see that he is really really really buff - like a linebacker!!!! He puts on his wig and steps inside the phone booth for the shot. I run around to the other side of the island to get a better view of the filming - unfortunately that means I can’t take any pictures because the bouncers there are adamant about people not taking photos even with the flash off. At one point, when the security people are telling us not to take photos, an incensed man - a foreign tourist -angrily questions why he can’t take a picture - “This is a public space! This is a free country!” He is really infuriated at what he thinks is an example of the erosion of American civil liberties and of the hypocrisy of the United States!! The bouncers tell him it is because of the movie shoot but I don’t think the fellow is buying it.
They keep telling us to keep it moving, keep it moving…but there is no way I am moving… I notice another fellow standing and not moving at the end of the island - he looks like a very thin Ajay Devgan. So I stand near him and even though the bouncers keep telling people to move on, they don’t bother too much about us - I guess we appear harmless enough.
The shot is a tracking shot - Salman is talking on the phone, obviously upset and emotional, though I think this scene is a comical one. Before the actual take, Salman is singing to himself and dancing in place in the booth - either to work off adrenaline or to create some. The camera starts circling around the phone booth as he says his lines. He removes the pads of his bra, and then begins changing all the while “talking” on the phone. He takes off his wig, removes the dress top - so I get to see him shirtless - Yeah, baby!!! - puts on a t-shirt, then a baseball cap. I think he is still wearing the dangly diamond earrings at the end. He does this shot maybe four times. After every take, he checks it out on the monitor but I can’t see much difference in the way he does each take. It is funny watching his face reflect emotions when it is all done up - everything is very exaggerated - like a Kabuki actor. Oh - his body looks like it must have just been waxed or Naired at the very least- it is smooth as - well, Italian marble - and in the glow of the Times Square lights, he does resemble Michaelangelo’s David - in drag!!!
This being Times Square, lots of people walk by and stop to gape. People want to know who this guy is and are laughing because he is wearing a dress - they find it especially funny when he removes the pads from his bra. I tell one couple that he is a big Indian movie star and they want to know if he was in Monsoon Wedding and whether or not he has anything to do with that “Ash-ware-ee” person!! I contemplate making something up, but I am so overcome after seeing Salman remove his dress four times, I can’t think of anything outrageous enough to say…that is, anything more outrageous than the alleged “truth.”
He finishes the shot then quickly walks over to the trailer that is parked on 43rd Street and gets inside. A group of us follow him and hang around. Lots of people going in and out of the trailer. Somebody asks one of the bodyguards standing outside whether or not we’ll be able to get pictures of Salman and he nods his head. Guruduttfan joins me after Spamalot lets out. We don’t have to wait long before Salman comes out of the trailer - and - ah - how delightful - all drag accoutrements removed - no more looking like Tammy Faye Baker or at least - Joya Dass from AVS! Instead he is wearing a dark brown blazer, brown pants - yellow shirt unbuttoned. He looks gooooood.
He starts heading towards the shoot, when one brave soul asks for a photo; Salman acquiesces and then - the deluge. At one point I see him get that “I am toooo sexxxy for my shirt” squinty look in his eyes as everyone’s cameras start flashing (well, everyone’s but MINE - I had turned off my flash to take pictures of the shoot and forgot to turn it on again so all my photos of Salman come out LOUSY!!!!). It’s that same expression he has in the photos of him with Aamir at the Rising premiere. Which arouses my usual feelings of cognitive dissonance about him where I am snickering at him yet salivating over him at the same time - because he is a bit ridiculous, smoldering away like that - yet he also is just too damn HOT and SEXY!!!!
He signs autographs - someone hands him a very old photo of himself from around the time of Maine Pyar Kiya and I see him shake his head and chuckle slightly when he is signing it, like he can’t really believe that was him so long ago. Obviously that person must have known he was going to be there unless she just happens to carry around old photos of him like that coincidentally. Of course - I am equally as guilty - I have some CD’s for him to autograph and I too carry around an old photo of him (in those short shorts from Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega!) on my Palm Pilot - so thank God there is no way I can ask him to sign that!! He signs my Kyon Ki CD and asks me how I like the music and I say that I like it very much - it is beautiful - and he says that yeah, it is really nice. I even get him to sign my Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam CD cover and I don’t think he even bats an eye - well, maybe an eyelash… When a few jokers ask him why he is wearing a shirt today, he just smiles a little smile - though he does look slightly perturbed when guruduttfan blurts out, “Salman - bhai - if you take off your shirt, I’ll take off mine!!!”
So with the crowd and attention, he swaggers over to the shoot - he really is working it! We all follow him and I notice that the back of his shirt is kind of dirty - like there are some ink stains on it. It also looks like it is made out of icky polyester- or I guess I mean - microfiber.
For this shot, I think he is being Mr. Cool Dude in contrast to Mr. Frenetic Guy in Drag previously. He is to run to the phone booth and chat on the phone. There is a weird blinking green light directed at the phone booth - is it supposed to be a traffic light? We try watching from the same place where I watched him change out of his dress earlier but they are getting a little stricter about people lingering. Again some pedestrians become incensed when they are told that they have to keep moving so they start railing at the security guys. We can’t see much from where we are so we cross over to the west side of the street. A big group of us there decide to give a cheer so we count down “3, 2, 1 - SALLUUUUUUU!!!” He hears us, looks up, and waves.
Then we realize that we really can’t see any of the shot so we cross over to the east side. I keep stepping off the curb to get a better view which really bugs the cop watching the crowd so that when he sees me go off the curb again, he admonishes me - “That’s the third time I’ve had to speak to you, lady!!!” I back off sheepishly and stand by the side. One tourist behind me is videotaping every blessed thing. I hear someone ask him what is going on and he says that he doesn’t have a clue - I wonder what poor sucker is going to be roped into watching his vacation movies…
They do a couple of takes - then we notice that people are coming up to Salman on that island and taking pictures. Are they VIP’s? No - because one of the people is a lady who had been standing with us as part of the crowd earlier. So like a swarm of bees we all rush towards the center island for more photos. All the while the crew is trying to set up for the next shot - they move the phone booth to the other end of the island and set up the camera on another track.
Finally it is time for the next shot but Salman notices that there is a couple with an infant who want their photo taken and he motions them over. He really seems quite taken with the infant but not in an obvious coo-chee-coo-chee way - he just looks at the baby with a lot of affection. After the photo the baby starts wailing. Another family comes up with their baby to get their picture taken too; he obliges them and again seems quite enamored with their infant. The thought crosses my mind - is he scoping out future girlfriends, perhaps? (All right - I didn’t think that really - Salman was actually very sweet with those babies.)
We are told to move. We join a group of women who are marveling at how much younger and better looking Salman is in person. We stand by the barriers and watch the tracking shot that follows Salman running towards the phone booth. One of the women starts chanting - “Faster!! Faster!!” as he is running along. We applaud and cheer him after he finishes his run. He seems slightly bemused by that. He does his scene so quickly and non chalantly that we don’t even realize he is doing a take. He does two takes and he is done!!!
So he swaggers off the set -.we follow him, what for, I don’t really know but I guess pheromones are driving us - not our brains. He walks down 43rd Street - we see him stop and chat for quite a while with someone. We move a little closer to hear what is going on - he is talking with a young woman who is not South East Asian and her friend/mother? She is dressed in sweats like she has just been to a dance rehearsal or class. I hear him ask her how she got interested in Indian movies…Can’t hear her response though I hear her say she is from Long Island. Then he asks if she knew Hindi and I think she says no, but she is studying it - it seems like she must have stopped him to ask him advice. Then he asks how old she is; she replies that she is 17 and he says “Oh, you have plenty of time ahead of you then.” She thanks him and walks off. He gets into the front seat of a SUV/jeep with out of state plates - the trunk is crammed with stuff. A few fans are still getting pictures and autographs; when he is finally done, he drives off. As his car pulls away, I can’t help but yell in the spirit of the evening “We love you Salluuuuuu!!!!” And everybody waves at the retreating car.
We turn back to Times Square. The crew there is packing away the equipment, taking apart the tracks. Is it my imagination or does Times Square seem to have lost a little of its luster, a little of its vitality now that its streets are minus one well-built Hindi superstar drag queen?
What a festive way to end my encounter with Salman, I think.
Little did I know - our saga would continue….