CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE SALMAN KIND
Ah Salman - light of my light, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.
That I was finally able to meet you - my not so obscure object of desire - I can hardly believe it…
But I did ( I have the photos to prove it!) and this is how it happened.....
It took my friend (whom I will refer to as E) and myself three hours to drive into the city - a drive that normally takes one (tell me, again, why did we move to the burbs?).
I was not in the best of moods.
We found Cranberry Street - I could see the end of the street was all lit up so we asked a roadie who was setting up equipment if this was the Jaaneman shoot. Got the affirmative so we were in business!! We managed to find a great parking space- for free!! - so my mood immediately became ten times better.
We walked over to the site - saw lots of Indian crew people. We wanted to try and find out who was going to be filming that evening so we chatted with a friendly non-Indian fellow on the crew who said he had never even heard of Bollywood before he started working on this film and that this film was starring “the, like, Tom Cruise of India!!!” He told us that when they were filming in Times Square the previous day, there was such a crowd of people who turned up to watch the filming, that it really took them aback - which is kind of a stupid thing to say because there is always such a crowd of people in Times Square. And when the shoot was over and Salman tried to leave, the crowd surging towards him was so great that the bodyguards were totally overwhelmed - the crew people had to dig their way in to throw people aside who were lunging towards Salman…the young fellow sounded like he was still recovering from that display.
He indicated that we shouldn’t have any problems meeting the stars or hanging around. He said the filming would probably start around 9:30 and that the stars would show up around 9:00 or so. I tried to pump him for more information about where else they might be filming when he got called away. We waited by a building where there were two Indian women dressed in very beautiful saris with their gori friend. They were holding three little gift bags so I knew that they must be waiting for the stars too. I asked them if that was the case and the one girl told me that they had actually met Salman the day before after his shoot was over; they talked with him and told him that they would be back with something for him the next day. Well, this being Brooklyn Heights, I kind of figured out who those women were. They were Jehovah’s witnesses and the one told me that she wanted to give him some books on their religion because he probably didn’t know anything about it since it is nearly impossible to get the opportunity to proselytize directly to a celebrity like him. I thought, now there's a novel approach to get his attention...
So we hung out - an Indian crew member was preparing Chai - a very milky looking tea. It started to rain a little and people joined us under the awning of the apartment building where we were standing. One was the assistant director and we chatted him up a bit. We asked about other films he worked on - he said Swades and we were duly impressed. He said that half the crew here was from India. I made some crack about how he did all the work for the director but the director got all the credit and he just responded with a rueful “yeah, you can say that again” sort of look. .I asked if he went to film school and he said no - what you learned there was theoretical not practical - referencing the production manager. The production manager, who was not South East Asian, just graduated from college the year before - this was her first movie shoot. She wrote her thesis on Bollywood so she was pretty pleased to be getting this experience. She found the job at www.mandy.com . She talked about being star struck at first - loving Preity - but now having seen them warts and all, she was not so much anymore. We asked if it was okay if we stayed and watched the shooting. She said that wasn’t a problem and that the stars were pretty cool about being asked for photos and autographs as long as it was on their down time - she really emphasized that point. Again I tried to pump her for more information - but she got called away. At one point, I saw one of the older (male) Indian crew people come up to her and start jabbering away in Hindi. She attempted to respond in pigeon Hindi though it was obvious she couldn’t understand a thing he was saying.- I got the feeling he was trying to put her on the spot.
We chatted with one of the crew members who did the lighting. He told us that he had worked on Kal Ho Na Ho and that it was a terrible experience. He said SRK was an absolute pig (no - he didn’t - just wanted to see if you guys were paying attention!!) He wouldn’t go into the details but I guess the shooting was very haphazard and disorganized. We wandered about - at one point a group of revelers came down Cranberry Street - all in glittery waiter- like costumes, some with bowler hats on, carrying what looked like prop bottles of champagne. I got really excited because I thought for sure we would be watching a musical number!! But no - instead those revelers went inside a brownstone on the block. They had nothing to do with the movie.
So we returned to our waiting spot. Things had quieted down as people were getting catered Indian food to eat. The director showed up - I recognized him from photos of his wedding to Farah Khan. Also because he had the look of a vanity director - long flowing hair, trendy designer black trench coat, preternaturally calm air. The Assistant Director showed him the set-up, and then he was left to wander rather aimlessly around until the cast showed up. He walked back and forth to the promenade, yakked on his cell phone. Then he saw both E and I sitting on the steps in front of the apartment building. He caught our eyes, then he walked over to us and we introduced ourselves, saying how excited we were that he was making a movie here, what big fans of Bollywood we were, yadda yadda yadda. I nearly fell over when I stood up to meet him - not because I was so excited but because I had been sitting low too long and my legs were stiff. We asked if we could get a photo and he obliged. He wouldn’t let us take his picture until his lovely hair was all in place - it was kind of funny watching him fuss over his hair more than either E or I ever would…then he put his arm around my waist for the photo - and I didn’t mind it, I must say!!! He smelt a mix of cologne and body odor - I suppose you could say musky? We thanked him, and off he went!!! I don’t think he spoke more than two words to us.
Then in a little bit I noticed Akshay walking down Cranberry towards the water where an attractive tall lady was waiting for him - and it twern’t Twinkle, that’s for sure! He hooked up with her and they seemed to be on very friendly terms!!! E said that maybe she was his personal assistant but I don’t think so. I didn’t see such a personal assistant for either Salman or Preity - though Preity had a guy who followed her around carrying her handbag.
Akshay started walking back with his friend and I could see the Jehovah witnesses making a bee line for him so we did too - those girls stopped him to get a picture and give him their bag. We asked for a photo too and he obliged. E took one of me first and while she was taking the picture, Akshay started directing her -“No!! You need to back up!! You’re too close!!!” but E didn’t hear him so she didn’t pay any attention. Then it was my turn to take the photo of E - but I couldn’t get the camera to work and I heard Akshay say, somewhat sarcastically, “It would help if you turned the camera on.” It was kind of funny - I joked that it was because I was just so nervous meeting him - don’t know if that got any kind of reaction from him because it was so dark. We got our pictures and Akshay went on his way. He takes a great photo, coming across as very smiley and friendly but at that moment, he wasn’t particularly friendly - just obliging. He had places to go - he had to get ready for the shoot.
So with that celebrity bagged, I was awaiting the big kahuna…back to our place in front of that apartment building. And sure enough after a while who should come down the street but the man himself, the one I was waiting for - SALMAN!!! He had a walk like a weight lifter’s - a kind of stiff, deliberate saunter - it reminded me of a stalking panther. That ubiquitous poorly shaven body guard as well as a few other fellows was with him. Not a huge entourage. E called them the short stocky set and it’s true - they all seemed to have the same body build, modeled after Salman.
I am like a cat in heat… I go following him but E is not following me so I had to go back and urge her to come on!! We pursue Salman to his trailer where he stops and lights a cigarette. He sees us coming up on him and I ask if it would be okay if we took a picture. He nodded his head in the affirmative - I think he gave his cigarette to one of the fellows standing there. It was somewhat disconcerting - here was someone who I spend HOURS staring at and oogling with impunity through countless movies and photographs now actually responding to my gaze.
I said to him, “Salman - why do you insist on wearing such short shorts?” Okay, no, I didn’t really say that…. I actually can’t remember what I said to him - probably something original like “I’m your biggest fan!!” I heard E say “We really love you!!!” even though she does not - she’s a SRK girl. It was such a silly moment - you feel like you have to say something but whatever you say just sounds inane!!
So E tried to take my photo but the camera wasn’t working and Salman tells her that the camera lens was closed - she had the same problem I had with Akshay, i.e. the camera wasn’t on. We got our photos and then I asked him to sign my CD covers - I started feeling a little guilty that I had 5 of them for him to sign - like I was using more than my allotted share of time as a fan. Then another girl asked for a photo. We all thanked him, he climbed into the trailer, lay down - saw that we were all gaping at him - and closed the door. Inside the trailer we could see there was a woman moving about. She came out and it was Preity!!! She had on a beautiful beige sparkly dress with a fullish skirt and tank like top (same dress that she wore in Divanatrix’ pics). She seemed preoccupied since she was on her way to film a scene so I didn’t want to bug her for a photo. We were all staring at the trailer when somebody pulled the curtains down.
E headed over to the shoot; I started to talk to this other lady who was there. She really wanted a photo with Salman but she didn’t have a camera with her so I said I would take one for her. She promptly went up to his trailer and was about to knock on the door but her husband thankfully stopped her from doing so.
Afterwards E said that Salman looked like a deer in the headlights when we approached him - like he was seeing a couple of aliens, but I didn't think so - he just has such HUGE eyes that sometimes he can look a little startled. While he was signing my autographs, I couldn’t say anything to him because I was just so busy checking him out. I noticed that he wasn’t wearing any earrings. And that he has the most perfect complexion. Whatever skin cream he uses, I want some!!! Just made me want to take my tongue and give his face a big lick!!! And in person, the bags under his eyes aren’t as pronounced. E said that she thought he looks better in person - less pumped up than on film - but I think he looks pretty much the same. But there is no question that even if you hadn't a clue as to who he was, you would say he was one handsome dude!!!
So I returned back to the shoot where they were filming Preity getting out of a limo then walking up the steps of the brownstone. She maybe did two takes of that…not too many. She joined the director to watch the scene on the monitor. At one point she screeched for a key chain since she had to unlock the door to the house for the scene. She and the director then looked at different engagement rings and chose one for another scene, I guess.
Preity definitely gave off a no nonsense, brusque vibe -I couldn’t tell if she was diva-ish or not - or if she just was a bit dramatic. She sounded curt when she was talking to her assistants but since I couldn’t understand what she was saying, I couldn’t tell if she was really being rude. At any rate, she looked lovely.
She left to change her costume. I thought about following her then to get a photo but decided against it. Eventually Preity returned and Akshay showed up too. Preity was dressed more casually. Akshay had on a tan blazer with weird colors dispersed all over it - like he was a teacher who had leaned on the chalkboard and the colored chalk wiped off on parts of his jacket. A thin blond fellow with an absolutely angelic blond infant came walking on the set with the production manager.
Preity cooed to the baby - who was one well-tempered bambino!!! Preity put on a Baby Bjorn carrier into which they put the baby and onto whom they plopped a hat. They got into a yellow cab that pulled up to the brownstone. Akshay got out, opened the door for Preity - coo-che-cooed the baby, said some dialogue, kissed Preity’s hands then Preity walked up those brownstone steps yet again and Akshay got into the cab as it drove off. They did this shot, maybe four times. One shot that they couldn’t use was when Akshay exited the taxi from one side, he forgot to close the door…I would have thought they would just stop the scene at that point to start over, but they didn’t. They just reshot the whole thing again. Another bystander - an older gentleman of Indian descent cracked that the cab’s meter was going to have one big tab!!!
So they finished that take and started setting up for the next one. Preity posed for a few photos - I tried to get a picture but I was too late - she had to rush off to get changed. Akshay was hanging out at that point. His face was really pink from his make-up. He sat down with a few of those stocky characters and was chatting and joking away with them. Some fans asked if they could get a picture with him and he told them they would have to wait. After he was done - I think he took their picture - I wasn’t paying that much attention, frankly.
Someone said that they were waiting for Salman to wake up from a nap to shoot the next scene - though it looked like the crew was still in the process of setting up. So E and I went over to the street where his trailer was. There was a lady there with her two kids - 7 and 9 years old - it was close to midnight at this point. The boy just wanted to go home but the mom said that the girl wanted to stay and that her favorite movie star was Rani. I think it was the mom that actually wanted to stay!!! Then Salman left his trailer - they must have known I was coming because rather than squeezing him into those dang short shorts, they did the next best thing and put him in - a COWBOY OUTFIT!!!! With a holster, no less!!! I…nearly…died!! I got all excited thinking that I would get to see him dance around and perhaps get lassoed!!! But no such luck. One thing is for sure though - it’s a testament to the man’s hotness that he can look so good in a costume that is more befitting a six-year old boy at Halloween or a Roy Rogers employee.
He stopped to chat to some fellows hanging out on the street. The mom went up to ask for his photo and he was okay with that - he seemed to send out a more solicitous vibe for them, i.e. he smiled for the photo - maybe because of the kids…I took the picture for the lady, then we followed Salman to the set.
He greeted and talked to the director. Then he went off to the side and chatted. I just could not stop staring at him, trying to absorb every blessed moment. I talked a little with that Indian gentleman who made the crack about the taxi meter and his wife and daughter. They couldn’t get over how short Salman was. We cracked some cowboy jokes. The 20-something daughter lived in the area which is how she knew about the shoot. She was attractive in an artsy intellectual graphic artist kind of way - she wore very trendy glasses and had on a pair of white capris and a tight graphic t-shirt.
Salman drank some tea, hung out. He teasingly put his cowboy hat on one of his friends. Then he went on the set to put on a goatee - he was fiddling with that for a while, then decided that it didn’t look right, so he took it off. In the meantime Preity and Akshay were hanging out, chatting; Preity danced around a bit to keep warm. Then they were ready for the shot. It was a close up of Salman in the left corner of the screen with a far away shot of Preity and Akshay in the upper right corner of the screen. The director yelled “Akshay!” then Akshay would say a line, and then he would yell, “Salman!!” then Salman would say his line. I think they did only one take of that scene. Salman came off the set and before he could watch it on the monitor, the couple with the artsy daughter besieged him, wanting their daughter to take a photo of them with Salman. I thought Salman would be annoyed but maybe he felt good about the take, so he obliged them. The daughter seemed a little irritated with her parents. I noticed that Salman checked out the daughter as she walked off - interesting that her type would tickle his fancy - she seemed more Aamir’s type.
After that shot was over, Preity came off the set making a sharp comment about her hairdresser or something to an assistant and she snapped her fingers in a kind of dismissive way - she really seemed like she was on some sort of amphetamine, she was so addled at times.
Salman hung out on the sidewalk - maybe five feet away from me with some folding chairs they had set up for him and his buddies. He was very low key - chatting and joking. He seemed to suffer from allergies because he would occasionally have to snort to clear his nasal passages. At one point Akshay’s “friend” came by to say hello to Salman - actually it seemed more like she was introducing herself to him. E said that the woman had asked her earlier who was the actress in the movie and she had no idea who Preity Zinta was.
I felt so rude for staring at Salman- like I was observing an animal in the zoo - but I really couldn’t help myself. So I’d stare for a little, then avert my eyes to something else, then stare some more!!!!
He really looked like he does in the movies. Actually the still photos of him at the Applam Chaplam video launch capture the way he is in person - the video clip of the launch, especially (not the actual music video!!!). And the little mannerisms that I’ve seen him do on film - the teasing head nodding, the laugh - was so fascinating to experience in the flesh.
Since it was a night shoot, I didn’t feel comfortable taking candid shots because the flash would be intrusive. Which is too bad because I could have taken some real beauties - at one point he was sprawled in his chair, one leg extended to the side, a cigarette dangling from his fingertips in front of his crotch…ooo, baby, let me light that fire!!! Talk about phallic!!! With holes at the knees of his jeans, which made me think of you, wannabe!!! E kept telling me that I should get a picture of his butt.
And since I got such an extended, close up view of him - I got to check out the two things that I really wanted to find out about - i.e. his hair and his height!!! So while he was sprawled there in his chair, he was considerate enough to take off his cowboy hat and run his hands through his hair - so it couldn’t have been a wig. His hair must be the result of either Rogaine or a really good hair weave because it looks totally natural - better than it appeared in some of the stills for MPKK. Maybe since he’s in New York, he had some work done on it. It was a very nice chestnuty brown color, a little lighter up top.
As for height - he was wearing cowboy boots - actually more like combo motorcycle/cowboy boots. They didn’t have much of a heel and they did not appear to be elevated. Preity was wearing two inch wedged sandals and she was still shorter than him. I am 5’ 5 ½” tall and he was taller than me by maybe two inches -as you can see from my photos. He appears shorter I think because he is so buff up top. Anyways - he was taller than I expected - but I was expecting him to be my height or smaller.
They had to set up for the next shot and they made us all move down the sidewalk . Even Salman and his buddies had to move their stools down a bit. Akshay and Preity were filming another scene. I can’t really remember what they were doing but I remember watching Salman watching them perform. I was wondering whether or not he had any curiosity about what his colleagues were doing and he displayed a mild interest.
At some point during all the down time, Salman and Preity got to hang out by themselves. He was leaning against a car and she was standing in front of him and the two of them were chatting quietly. It would have made a lovely picture with the lights of Manhattan in the background. They seemed to have a nice rapport - a genuine comfort with one another - I guess they have to if they share a trailer!
We continued hanging out. One of our fellow gapers was a very fair, hugely tall and rather obnoxious fellow - I kept thinking that maybe he was the late Albatross of the Bollywhat board. When Preity was fussing about her hair to the director, the tall fellow made a loud comment that her hair looked good which re-enforced her point so she thanked him!! Then she sat down with the director and wrapped herself in a shawl. The tall fellow asked if he could get a photo and she said wait a bit. After quite a while, she stood up, I guess for another costume change, and took her photo with the giant but nobody else. When this fellow and his friends looked at the photo on their camera, they started hooting and hollering - I saw the photo and it really looked ridiculous - she came up to his waist, maybe. Some others wanted to get a photo taken with Salman, so one fellow was given the task to ask. He went up to Salman and just stood there as Salman chatted with his buddies. Finally after five minues he got the nerve to ask Salman for a photo and Salman said to wait a little and he would take the picture. His other friend who was going to take the picture was quite cynical - he complained about Salman’s attitude and how it wasn’t like Akshay’s because Akshay was walking around being social, taking photos. Of course, he hadn’t seen Akshay do the same thing as Salman a little while earlier in refusing to take a photo right away. And just like this guy, the people who had to wait for Akshay’s photo were probably complaining about Akshay’s attitude in comparison with Salman’s.
It was late, I knew E wanted to go but I wanted a photo of Salman in that cowboy outfit. We waited. Salman took one of his buddies to the side to have a private conversation. We thought maybe he forgot about the photo. The cynical guy asked Salman for a photo again and Salman told him firmly to wait a minute, please. Then he finished his conversation and we were able to get our photos once again!! We left and Salman continued his conversation with the guy. All the conversations were in Hindi. I heard him mention Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya.
We wanted to see them do another shot but it was getting really late. E wanted to say goodbye to the assistant director so we found him and thanked him. I wanted to say good-bye to Salman but by the time we finished saying goodbye to the AD - Salman had gone off…
On our way out, we saw a fellow who was an extra - he was playing a street musician who hung out on the block playing the saxophone - I guess he was there to give the movie a little extra “color” since he was a dreadlocked African American. He was very nice - told us he found the job through Craig’s List. He told how he auditioned for the job - that he sent in a head shot and the director liked his look.
I really wanted to get one last glimpse of Salman so I walked back to the set to see if I could see him - but he wasn’t around. As we were leaving I could hear Preity calling for him in that distinctive scratchy voice of hers, ”Salman!! Where’s Salman? Salman!! Salman!!!”
It was 3:00 a.m. I had been watching Salman in person for about as long a time as it takes to watch him in a BW movie. I felt satiated. We walked to the car, grabbed a drink from a bodga and headed home…Mission Salman accomplished!!