Young life and what we make of it
So there's been a couple of things on my mind lately. Before I forget, I'm gonna outline them.
1. Sex and waiting for marriage
2. Relationships and planning for the future
3. Vic and her amazingness and inspiration
4. Home.. and what it means to some people, including peace
So now that I have that down, let me make myself comfortable and I'll be back in a minute.
......................
....................................................
Okay, so I'm back. First of all, this is something God's been really been speaking to me about lately. In just a lot of ways, but mostly through the choices in books that I have been reading. I have been reading Karen Kingsbury, and about three or four of the books all talk about the consequences of having sex before marriage. In almost all her stories, the results are a child. And of course, this is the most obvious. But the second is what one of the librarians at work was talking about the other day. She said that she didn't necessarily want to prevent her girls from having sex (weird, i know, but it's the norm for most parents) but that she wanted to teach her girls that when they have sex that girls give away a little piece of them everytime. For guys, it means nothing near as much as it means to girls. To girl's, it can be devastating to give away that piece of them and have nothing in return.
In the book I am reading right now, it talks about just that. The girl in the story was told growing up that she was a whore just like her mom. Because of that, she never had contact with guys. She told herself that she wouldn't do it. Her dad was cruel to her and made her worthless. So when she met up with a childhood friend and they became everything to each other, he led her to have sex with him... both of their firsts. He walked away from it and told her later on that they just needed to move past it. But she... she told herself that she finally was the whore her dad always told her about. And this hit home with me. How sad, to believe that? The girl was strong and held true to herself and became a Christian and believed that God loved her. But one wrong decision... one moment of weakness and she gave into her feelings instead of her head, and it destroyed everything she had spent years building. And to me this breaks my heart.
I know that I have poor self-confidence at times, but I believe in myself. I know what I want and who I am. To have someone break that? How could I ever recover? It makes me so sad. And this, my friends, is why God says to wait until marriage. Wait until it means something to both of you and to know that when that guy takes a piece of you... he will hold it for the rest of his life. And know that that promise he made on your wedding day, means something. And with this comes the warning to get to know the guy. I'm sorry, but three months does not convince one that you are soulmates. It juts does not happy that way. If in fifty years of marriage, you never truly know someone... three months give you absolutely no clue of who that person truly is. I can't give you a definite time; that's between you and God, but listen to the clues. It could mean the world to your happiness and peace. God knows His plan for you...
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
This is one of Karen Kingsbury's favorite verses. She uses it in almost every book. It's a powerful verse. It tells us to give up control and trust the Lord. This is no easy task. But we cannot do it on our own.
People think I'm weird... but I want to wait 'til my wedding day for my first kiss. I strongly DOUBT that this will happen, but it's always been this little thing of mine. Call me old-fashioned... but I don't want a kiss to turn into too much. It starts with a kiss, and I won't betray myself. With God, I am strong.
Okay, that's done. I hope someone got something out of that. Here comes the next section which I covered some of it. But I guess my biggest thing I had hoped to cover in this section were my hopes. I was talking at work the other day to Kim, about the things I wanted for my house, for my children, for my chance at being a mother. My dreams. What I told her was the most I've ever told anyone. I don't know, I was in a good mood and thinking about my future. I don't plan specific things to people, but I do think about them often. But then one librarian told me to stop thinking about it, for pete's sake, because I'm not married yet! She was joking, and I didn't take any offense, but it did make me think.
How many girls think about that? But get told it's not important so they push it aside? I know all girls do it. It's what we do. I'm sure guys do it too.
But then there's this.... How many times do these hopes get screwed up because of one simple, avoidable mistake? God offers forgiveness and a chance to start over... I don't deny this. But by simply waiting to have sex or some other simple act of rebellion, we screw up the way things could have been. True, obviously they were never meant to be. But still....
Say I never get married... Obviously those things I hoped for could never happen.. and that's okay. I'm prepared either way, because I have my God. But I will still live with no regrets.
And don't deny me the right to pray and hope and think about my future, my dreams. They are mine. And they are beautiful.
They are beautiful... and I pray someday, they can come true.
::sighs::
Our world can be so hopeless sometimes. Truly... but amongst this world, we do find people who inspire us. Who offer us the reason to move on, to get to know them better. These people come in and out of our life and sometimes we don't notice. But I think when we do notice them, they deserve to be brought to light. Their hardships have made them who they are, and we should recognize this.
And at this time, I bring to light my friend, Victoria. We've been friends since I've been ten or younger. We've played soccer on this little dead-end named Bar Harbor. We spent numerous hours over each others houses, flirting with brothers and getting in trouble trying do scary things in my room. We've been through a lot of things in the last 13 years. But really getting to know her this past year, I realize that I've never really known her. And never really having known her, I cannot tell how much she's changed or not. This is besides the fact. The simple fact of the matter is this... everytime we get together I am amazed at how you push to live life in such a way that... makes me see things in a different light.
First of all, is the most obvious. She was dealt a hard hand having two babies and being married to a guy who didn't treat her right. This story, I don't know too well. I remember hearing the rumors come around. None of that matters. What matters is who she is today. If you look at her, she is happy. She spends her days full, even if that means getting up, getting her girls to school, going to work, getting her girls and going home to go to sleep. She's happy. She opens up her home to anyone and everyone. She welcomes everyone and makes us feel at home. She loves us and she touches us. She never pronouces her faith or her way of living to anyone... but her living is testimony enough. She's built herself a life and lives in peace. And God blesses her for this. I see it in her life, even she doesn't. She gets by, even though she doesn't make much. She has many friends in her life. She has her mom and sisters. And she has her adopted family, The Sizers, who have pretty much taken her under her wing. To me, this is amazing. She has turned her life around and lives it contentedly. Keyword there people. Content. Being happy with what you have.
And then there's this other thing that amazes me. Perhaps it's her experiences that have led to the way she handles these situations, but to me, she is so strong to deal with this. Anytime a conflict with someone arises, she sees past it. She is the bigger person and deals with it in the most mature way possible. All of her ex-boyfriends are a perfect example. The way she dealt with Bek moving out of her house. The way she gets past her emotions, and still manages to be friends with these people. I wish I had this ability, Vic. You never hate anyone. You make decisions and then you climb above them and accept the situation and move on in a way I've never seen in anyone. It's not easy. I know. But you've done it repeatedly since I've known you.
I wish I could be like you.
You are my hero.
Please know this.
I'm going to tell you to read this.
And for my last thing.... I was driving to Vic's tonight, and on the way I was thinking of how much I like my home. I was thinking that I want to ask people what home means to them.
To me it means peace. It means comfortable. I come home and I'm home.... Home is my house. I know that is not the case to everyone. The only other place I love this much is my car. But that's because my car has seen many sides of me. But we're not talking about my car. We're talking about my home. When I am away from home, I want to be home. When I am home, I think about other places rarely. Home surrounds me. My family, they accept me. I don't have to be anything special to them. And I was thinking to myself, how lucky I am. Not all people have this. At the end of a long day, I wouldn't want to be anywhere... but home.
Longing for home again; But home is a feeling I've buried in you. Breathe - Greenwheel
This song is sad, and I'm not sad right now. But it kept coming to mind.
I love realizing things. They make life a little easier.
Right now I see life as a bunch of cupboards and drawers. A lot of them are locked. Because I am young. A few have been opened, and the tools (tidbits of wisdom) inside of them make life easier. I am desperately trying to open the rest, but only God holds the key. Once I see the light (or rather tools) life becomes easier. Once I have opened them all, I will be dead and with God. Life will be most glorious then.
I can't believe I covered all my points. It took almost an hour. I haven't typed this long in a long while. But I think I can sleep tonight without falling asleep to something. That will be kind of nice.
If you've actually made it through all of this, please comment. Anything. Disagreement or not.
Thank you God. You are amazing.
:.:.:.:.: Bianca :.:.:.:.:
"Forever Young
Youth Group
Let's dance in style let's dance for a while,
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies,
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst,
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever,
Don't have the power but we never say never,
Sitting in the sandpit life is a short trip,
Music's for the sad man
Can you imagine when this race is run,
Turning our golden faces into the sun,
Praising our leaders getting in tune,
Music's played by the mad man
Forever young, I want to be forever young,
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever forever,
Forever young, I want to be forever young,
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever, forever
Some are like water Some are like the heat,
Some are melodies Some are the beat,
Sooner or later they'll all be gone,
Why don't they stay young?
It's hard to get old without a cause,
I don't want to perish like a fading horse,
Youth is like diamonds in the sun,
And diamonds are forever,
So many adventures couldn't happened today,
So many songs that we forgot to play,
So many dreams swimming out in the blue,
Let them come true"
1. Sex and waiting for marriage
2. Relationships and planning for the future
3. Vic and her amazingness and inspiration
4. Home.. and what it means to some people, including peace
So now that I have that down, let me make myself comfortable and I'll be back in a minute.
......................
....................................................
Okay, so I'm back. First of all, this is something God's been really been speaking to me about lately. In just a lot of ways, but mostly through the choices in books that I have been reading. I have been reading Karen Kingsbury, and about three or four of the books all talk about the consequences of having sex before marriage. In almost all her stories, the results are a child. And of course, this is the most obvious. But the second is what one of the librarians at work was talking about the other day. She said that she didn't necessarily want to prevent her girls from having sex (weird, i know, but it's the norm for most parents) but that she wanted to teach her girls that when they have sex that girls give away a little piece of them everytime. For guys, it means nothing near as much as it means to girls. To girl's, it can be devastating to give away that piece of them and have nothing in return.
In the book I am reading right now, it talks about just that. The girl in the story was told growing up that she was a whore just like her mom. Because of that, she never had contact with guys. She told herself that she wouldn't do it. Her dad was cruel to her and made her worthless. So when she met up with a childhood friend and they became everything to each other, he led her to have sex with him... both of their firsts. He walked away from it and told her later on that they just needed to move past it. But she... she told herself that she finally was the whore her dad always told her about. And this hit home with me. How sad, to believe that? The girl was strong and held true to herself and became a Christian and believed that God loved her. But one wrong decision... one moment of weakness and she gave into her feelings instead of her head, and it destroyed everything she had spent years building. And to me this breaks my heart.
I know that I have poor self-confidence at times, but I believe in myself. I know what I want and who I am. To have someone break that? How could I ever recover? It makes me so sad. And this, my friends, is why God says to wait until marriage. Wait until it means something to both of you and to know that when that guy takes a piece of you... he will hold it for the rest of his life. And know that that promise he made on your wedding day, means something. And with this comes the warning to get to know the guy. I'm sorry, but three months does not convince one that you are soulmates. It juts does not happy that way. If in fifty years of marriage, you never truly know someone... three months give you absolutely no clue of who that person truly is. I can't give you a definite time; that's between you and God, but listen to the clues. It could mean the world to your happiness and peace. God knows His plan for you...
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
This is one of Karen Kingsbury's favorite verses. She uses it in almost every book. It's a powerful verse. It tells us to give up control and trust the Lord. This is no easy task. But we cannot do it on our own.
People think I'm weird... but I want to wait 'til my wedding day for my first kiss. I strongly DOUBT that this will happen, but it's always been this little thing of mine. Call me old-fashioned... but I don't want a kiss to turn into too much. It starts with a kiss, and I won't betray myself. With God, I am strong.
Okay, that's done. I hope someone got something out of that. Here comes the next section which I covered some of it. But I guess my biggest thing I had hoped to cover in this section were my hopes. I was talking at work the other day to Kim, about the things I wanted for my house, for my children, for my chance at being a mother. My dreams. What I told her was the most I've ever told anyone. I don't know, I was in a good mood and thinking about my future. I don't plan specific things to people, but I do think about them often. But then one librarian told me to stop thinking about it, for pete's sake, because I'm not married yet! She was joking, and I didn't take any offense, but it did make me think.
How many girls think about that? But get told it's not important so they push it aside? I know all girls do it. It's what we do. I'm sure guys do it too.
But then there's this.... How many times do these hopes get screwed up because of one simple, avoidable mistake? God offers forgiveness and a chance to start over... I don't deny this. But by simply waiting to have sex or some other simple act of rebellion, we screw up the way things could have been. True, obviously they were never meant to be. But still....
Say I never get married... Obviously those things I hoped for could never happen.. and that's okay. I'm prepared either way, because I have my God. But I will still live with no regrets.
And don't deny me the right to pray and hope and think about my future, my dreams. They are mine. And they are beautiful.
They are beautiful... and I pray someday, they can come true.
::sighs::
Our world can be so hopeless sometimes. Truly... but amongst this world, we do find people who inspire us. Who offer us the reason to move on, to get to know them better. These people come in and out of our life and sometimes we don't notice. But I think when we do notice them, they deserve to be brought to light. Their hardships have made them who they are, and we should recognize this.
And at this time, I bring to light my friend, Victoria. We've been friends since I've been ten or younger. We've played soccer on this little dead-end named Bar Harbor. We spent numerous hours over each others houses, flirting with brothers and getting in trouble trying do scary things in my room. We've been through a lot of things in the last 13 years. But really getting to know her this past year, I realize that I've never really known her. And never really having known her, I cannot tell how much she's changed or not. This is besides the fact. The simple fact of the matter is this... everytime we get together I am amazed at how you push to live life in such a way that... makes me see things in a different light.
First of all, is the most obvious. She was dealt a hard hand having two babies and being married to a guy who didn't treat her right. This story, I don't know too well. I remember hearing the rumors come around. None of that matters. What matters is who she is today. If you look at her, she is happy. She spends her days full, even if that means getting up, getting her girls to school, going to work, getting her girls and going home to go to sleep. She's happy. She opens up her home to anyone and everyone. She welcomes everyone and makes us feel at home. She loves us and she touches us. She never pronouces her faith or her way of living to anyone... but her living is testimony enough. She's built herself a life and lives in peace. And God blesses her for this. I see it in her life, even she doesn't. She gets by, even though she doesn't make much. She has many friends in her life. She has her mom and sisters. And she has her adopted family, The Sizers, who have pretty much taken her under her wing. To me, this is amazing. She has turned her life around and lives it contentedly. Keyword there people. Content. Being happy with what you have.
And then there's this other thing that amazes me. Perhaps it's her experiences that have led to the way she handles these situations, but to me, she is so strong to deal with this. Anytime a conflict with someone arises, she sees past it. She is the bigger person and deals with it in the most mature way possible. All of her ex-boyfriends are a perfect example. The way she dealt with Bek moving out of her house. The way she gets past her emotions, and still manages to be friends with these people. I wish I had this ability, Vic. You never hate anyone. You make decisions and then you climb above them and accept the situation and move on in a way I've never seen in anyone. It's not easy. I know. But you've done it repeatedly since I've known you.
I wish I could be like you.
You are my hero.
Please know this.
I'm going to tell you to read this.
And for my last thing.... I was driving to Vic's tonight, and on the way I was thinking of how much I like my home. I was thinking that I want to ask people what home means to them.
To me it means peace. It means comfortable. I come home and I'm home.... Home is my house. I know that is not the case to everyone. The only other place I love this much is my car. But that's because my car has seen many sides of me. But we're not talking about my car. We're talking about my home. When I am away from home, I want to be home. When I am home, I think about other places rarely. Home surrounds me. My family, they accept me. I don't have to be anything special to them. And I was thinking to myself, how lucky I am. Not all people have this. At the end of a long day, I wouldn't want to be anywhere... but home.
Longing for home again; But home is a feeling I've buried in you. Breathe - Greenwheel
This song is sad, and I'm not sad right now. But it kept coming to mind.
I love realizing things. They make life a little easier.
Right now I see life as a bunch of cupboards and drawers. A lot of them are locked. Because I am young. A few have been opened, and the tools (tidbits of wisdom) inside of them make life easier. I am desperately trying to open the rest, but only God holds the key. Once I see the light (or rather tools) life becomes easier. Once I have opened them all, I will be dead and with God. Life will be most glorious then.
I can't believe I covered all my points. It took almost an hour. I haven't typed this long in a long while. But I think I can sleep tonight without falling asleep to something. That will be kind of nice.
If you've actually made it through all of this, please comment. Anything. Disagreement or not.
Thank you God. You are amazing.
:.:.:.:.: Bianca :.:.:.:.:
"Forever Young
Youth Group
Let's dance in style let's dance for a while,
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies,
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst,
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever,
Don't have the power but we never say never,
Sitting in the sandpit life is a short trip,
Music's for the sad man
Can you imagine when this race is run,
Turning our golden faces into the sun,
Praising our leaders getting in tune,
Music's played by the mad man
Forever young, I want to be forever young,
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever forever,
Forever young, I want to be forever young,
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever, forever
Some are like water Some are like the heat,
Some are melodies Some are the beat,
Sooner or later they'll all be gone,
Why don't they stay young?
It's hard to get old without a cause,
I don't want to perish like a fading horse,
Youth is like diamonds in the sun,
And diamonds are forever,
So many adventures couldn't happened today,
So many songs that we forgot to play,
So many dreams swimming out in the blue,
Let them come true"