(no subject)
In a terrible mood for general and specific reasons:
• The boy I like doesn't like me back.
• I care that the boy I like doesn't like me back.
• I apparently forgot my apartment keys this morning. One of my roommates is in DC, and I can't get a hold of the other one. If she doesn't call me back, I have to go to work in the same clothes as yesterday after spending the night on a friend's couch.
• I'm frustrated with myself for caring about what a boy thinks of me and for being ditzy enough to forget my keys and being forced to ask my friends for a place to stay when they already have out of town guests (though they are completely gracious) and for feeling isolated and lonely when I mostly put myself there in the first place and felt low several times this week but didn't bring it up in therapy because I do not want to talk about being pathetic over a boy even though that's not the point and is pretty much the opposite of the point of mindfulness and overcoming the cycle of depressive thoughts. Also didn't talk about moments of feeling like a shell, like I feel right now. God, Erica, commit to the fucking process.
Extremely tempted to call out of work tomorrow.
I guess time to wait for the living room to vacate so I can try to sleep. So frustrated.