Typical
*Sighs*
I don't know anymore. I don't know anything. I feel like it's all a one sided thing(I kinda now know how a certain someone feels). I hate how he never tells me anything and then I found out what he's really thinking from someone else. I don't understand why he just can't confront to me. It's frustrating. It's like he doesn't want me to know what he's really thinking. I don't know....There's certain things going on that are making me think twice on Homecoming. Ironic. The tables turned on us. Now it's my turn to have doubts. Things being said, too many bad ideas going through my head. Whatever, I'm not going to worry about it. When it happens, it happens. I won't be happy. I don't want to make a big deal out of it. Only cause it'll wind up being something stupid. It just sucks. I want in on things as well. I want to actually be apart some of the things he's planning...I don't know
Oh man, I officialy hate royalettes x2. Whatever, I am trying hard to get those demerits off. Uhm excuse me but was I NOT at open house? Didn't I NOT bring someone to a meeting. Yes I did, 7 merits. But what good does that do me? 4 Demerits off. Yes I am "Stepping up". There hasn't been that much of an opportunity that I haven't gone to besides that one game...Which was explainable...I am trying hard. I honestly don't understand. But the fact that it seems like I'm not the only one who doesn't care is pissing me off. I DID care, but after all that. What makes you or any of us think that I'll still care after what happened? Hm yeah that's what I thought to...
After all that's been done and said, (actions, words, reactions) I just want to start over. I want to not think about t his reason why I'm his girlfriend. I hate being the way that I am, I hate the way I deal with things. [Get in their faces, or walk away.] I can't seem to be calm or just let it go. I'm what they call a Drama Queen. I feel like a guys' "worst nightmare". That's why I don't plan on saying anything to Jonah. It's not fair to him. (I'm being too God damned considerate). But like I said, it's not fair to him, and right now, what matters the most, is keeping him happy.
I've fallen hard.