I made a desicion and fuck it, im not going back on it
I feel like I lost. Like it was always just a battle he and i played, a tug-a-war i suppose you could say. Maybe i have more emotions and i take more things to the heart or maybe he doesnt take enough. When we were together he broke my heart. and i was always scraed to admit it, because maybe it would just take over me and i would loose. So i never did. I never said he hurt me or he scared me i just said it ended because it needed to be ended. but that wasnt it. Now i see myself lookin in and knowing how much of an idiot i looked like just waiting there. For him to admit to what he did but he never did. And i think that hurt more than anything, knowing that he didnt care if he hurt me or not. Since we broke up i tried to stay friends with him, mainly cuz we had the same poeple and were eachothers closet friend. but somewhat because even after we broke up i had an idea in my head that he may apologize and everything would go back. but it didnt and i dont care, not since i found phil. i dont want to talk to him ever again. I told him to never call again and knowing him and his attitude he probably never will. and im fine with that. i dont care. Im tired of caring. i hate caring. and not getting any love back. everyone i have opened my heart to, has eventually taken a stab at it and picked up and left.
So on a lighter note
I wish Phil would get his tounge pierced. That would be so hawt!!! Iw ould be his sex slave... lol. I would seriously like die if he kissed me with his toungue pierced. OMG!
Baby I'm sorry for what was said today. I wish i could unsay it. but i can't and i know that you cant let it go but all i have to say is that i love you nino
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o my baby i love you... tehehe