(no subject)

[missmariss]

so i don't know if i'm cut out for this. when i'm with you it feels so right. but the first night out by myself was hard. can i stick to what i think is right? old habits are the hardest to break. but i'm happy to say that i kept you in mind and didn't hurt you. though this is little, it's a big step for me. but in making these steps, i'm scared i'm going to turn into who i used to be. sometimes balance is the hardest thing to find......though i find so much comfort in what we have, it still scares the shit out of me. especially this weird in between phase, what am i allowed? what's crossing the line? i hate not having things black or white so i can know exactly what to do. i care about you so much, but in that fact i get so scared. this isn't what i do. steel don't feel was my motto for so long, can i give that up so easily? i've wanted to let it go for so long, but now that i have the chance, i don't know if i can. i've always been the independent one, i do what i want. now i have other people's feelings to account for. if i ever hurt you, know i never meant to......

at least i can go to bed knowing that i'm not a hypocrite. i guess what's all one can hope for in one day.