Week
When the email for ET comes out, definitely going to sign up. If I am going to be waking up early anyway, I might as well go in early to get paid for it. Missing out on a day of work as it is. We'll see if I'm granted ET. Don't have anything to look forward to right now as it is anyway.
Still haven't heard from Kevin, I want to hold out and have him reach out, but I feel guilty for not but at the same time, why can't he? Why isn't he? It's kind of whatever. I'll be happy to hear from him when I do hear from him, assuming it's not 'let's end this' -again-. Or would I be happy to hear that? I don't know. Do I even want to be single? I feel like I am right now but not. It's a weird place to be in. I want him to have space since he obviously needs it? But I don't want space because that's all I ever have.
What is this existence?
I decided on Monday morning I'll take myself to the movies. There's a showing for Dr. Strange at 9:30 in Ruston. I don't know anyone who would want to go with me. If it wasn't in Tacoma and things were going better with Kevin I'd ask him to go with me? I can't remember if he even likes going to the movies or not.
I would like to do something for his birthday, even if that's just making him a meal but he said he didn't want anything, nothing at all. Should I even wish him a happy birthday?
On my docket toward the end of June- physician hunt and dentist hunt. I'm pretty sure I'll go with the dentist I visited for my tooth but I'll have to look up branches since moving is also on the future docket. I'll need to work on my LinkedIn as well.
Making plans just seems so... de-motivating. None of them really include anyone but me and I've just felt so lonely.
I could really use a really long, big hug and probably a cry to go with it. I don't know. Maybe a really big sigh?