you fool
No one likes the word "mandatory." Especially not when it relates to one and the necessity of pulling through an extra shift on the weekend working for one of the more difficult clients. Last night we stopped at the Front to see if Alexandra was bartending; she was next door at Ground Zero..I have not been there dancing my fool head off since I can't remember when. I didn't even venture out of the Front last night, Zero used to be one of my main haunts but nowadays I'm just an old hippie lady and I end my evenings early for the most part. I was disturbed by the realization that my best friend (i hope she still thinks of me as such)did not look very happy. From what I had gathered on the phone the last few times she was in a good relationship and enjoying herself and a more liberated outlook on life. It did not appear so when I saw her, she looked a bit withdrawn and unhappy. Am I neglecting everyone? I wrote my brother an email asking him if he wants to go to Morbid Angel with me and I haven't heard a peep from him...the last few times he invited me to do things I didn't..mostly because I didn't want to trip on mushrooms at my parents' house with him and his friends from U of M Morris. I used to do a lot of drugs but i really don't need to do those activities at my dad's home, I have been on my own too long and I am far too old-feeling to talk nonsense with his friends and wonder if my dad is going to come down the stairs and see that everyone is freaking out. I just don't understand...I am finally doing some things right, showing up at a job and making good money, in a monogamous relationship etc etc and I feel like everyone liked me better unstable. Trevor's new music is awesome, now that he is living here again and recording his new album I can see how far he has come as a musician. Back in high school when I was drumming for his band I felt like I was barely keeping time. Now as a more disciplined person I will have more to contribute..I'm grateful that he'll have me back. I am going to do some backing vocals and some guitar and if Violet Heartbreak performs live soon I would love to do that too..I am going to work on finding balance between my transitioning self and the nutcase I was and am..I definitely have to make more time for music in my schedule, Morbid Angel is one of my biggest influences and it would be a real shame to miss them. I hope they go old school, I have covenant in my cd player at work and it would be an evening to remember if they do stuff from altars etc. as well as newer shred mania..I haven't even heard heretic that's how out I am, absolutely rubbish to call myself heavy metal at this point. That and I missed Over Kill when they were here, i forgot how to get to Star Central and then it was like oh to Hell with it. David if you're reading my scratchings write back will you? The concert is something we can do together like bro and sis I'm sorry I'm always too busy for you--I just keep thinking all my antisocial leanings will dissolve once I buy a house. It's taking for ever to find one that we both like but it's going to be such a welcome change. I can invite all my poor neglected friends and family round and they will know that I didn't mean to shut them out--universe willing we will find the house for us before interest rates and bird flu and what have you come at the earth like locusts left, right and center. haven't we all got things to do before the end is upon us and we have to re form an economic base..let the good times roll