Food for Thought. Munch. Munch. Munch.
I have learned many things. I am learning over and over about life and all that it means.
This is a year of finding myself for sure. Of huge endings, and even more huge beginnings. It's going to take growing up for real. Il be leaving the little bubble of PC. All the good friends all the drama, behind me in the dust. Nothing will be sure anymore. Nothing.
I feel like for awhile Ive been trying so hard to live in the moment. To not the let the little things let me down. To resist the urge to run away and hide when someone disapoints me or things don't go as I always imagined. It's a strange new urge that is sticking longer than before. I do it well sometimes but other times I fuck up big. I guess that's life right? I just hate how one minute I am like Katie make the best of these last few months, you arent going to see these people again and you want them to have fond memories of you. And then Seth will act distant around me, and Lance will ditch me and Ill just freak out and wanna run so far away from here. I just close up into myself and start hating myself and the way they treat me. But are they really treating me that bad? Am i blind selfish silly stupid?
Ive been so bitter about guys lately. But life is more than just finding a hott guy. I'm freakin 21, ill have time for that later right?. Surely I am decent person inside and out with a lot to offer? I need to focus on myself on my future on giving back to this world in some meaningful way.
Life is just like running up a hill then falling back down over and over again. But i feel it is more about what happens while you are running up and down the hill that matters. Not the view at the top that youll enjoy for a second and then die. Why don't we ever realize this sooner?
I guess I'll be attempting to realize it my whole life.
I just wanna take chances. the rights ones.
Whos to tell the difference though?
This is a year of finding myself for sure. Of huge endings, and even more huge beginnings. It's going to take growing up for real. Il be leaving the little bubble of PC. All the good friends all the drama, behind me in the dust. Nothing will be sure anymore. Nothing.
I feel like for awhile Ive been trying so hard to live in the moment. To not the let the little things let me down. To resist the urge to run away and hide when someone disapoints me or things don't go as I always imagined. It's a strange new urge that is sticking longer than before. I do it well sometimes but other times I fuck up big. I guess that's life right? I just hate how one minute I am like Katie make the best of these last few months, you arent going to see these people again and you want them to have fond memories of you. And then Seth will act distant around me, and Lance will ditch me and Ill just freak out and wanna run so far away from here. I just close up into myself and start hating myself and the way they treat me. But are they really treating me that bad? Am i blind selfish silly stupid?
Ive been so bitter about guys lately. But life is more than just finding a hott guy. I'm freakin 21, ill have time for that later right?. Surely I am decent person inside and out with a lot to offer? I need to focus on myself on my future on giving back to this world in some meaningful way.
Life is just like running up a hill then falling back down over and over again. But i feel it is more about what happens while you are running up and down the hill that matters. Not the view at the top that youll enjoy for a second and then die. Why don't we ever realize this sooner?
I guess I'll be attempting to realize it my whole life.
I just wanna take chances. the rights ones.
Whos to tell the difference though?