Almost there...
Penultimate Mansfield Park spam, and my writing pace had plummetted over the last couple of days. Perhaps Emma will cheer me up.
Henry figures the way to Fanny's heart is through her brother, so he gets a lieutenant's commission, having an Admiral for an uncle, and is sure to deliver the news to Fanny himself.
Fanny: WOOOHOOOO! OMGThankyouthankyouthankyou and here I thought you were nothing but evil.
Henry: I am so happy that you are happy. You deserve to see your brother promoted because you're so wonderful.
Fanny: Stop talking like that, you sound like you want to marry me, and you know how people talk.
Henry: But Fanny, that's exactly what I want to do. I want to marry you! I love you!
Fanny: Oh please. Just because you got my brother promoted doesn't mean I'm going to fall for that one!
Henry: No, I'm serious. I'm madly in love with you.
Fanny: You madly in love with me? How gullible do you think I am? Get outta here! *flees*
Sir Thomas: *comes in* What's with her?
Henry: She's just overwhelmed that I got her brother promoted. I also told her I loved her and I think she's willing to marry me. Can I have her?
Sir Thomas: Sure.
When the next day Sir Thomas informs Fanny he has consented, Fanny has to believe he's serious. Not that it matters, because she's not going to marry him.
Sir Thomas doesn't get why. After all, he's a nice man, a rich man, and surely she owes it to him to marry whomever he wants her to as long as he isn't promising her to a drunkard. But when he can't get Fanny to say yay, he sighes and hopes she'll fall in love with him. Not that he's entirely passive in this Plan B. After dinner that day:
Servant: Miss Price! Your uncle wants you.
Mrs. Norris: What could he want to talk to HER about? No, surely you misheard and he wants to talk to me.
Servant: Nope. Her. C'mon, lady. *drags Fanny into a room where she's alone with Henry*
Henry: Fanny, you must believe now I love you. And I know you love me, you just don't realize it!
Fanny: I assume you usually don't win your girls over with a line like that!
Henry: You'll fall for me, you'll see.
Fanny: I doubt that. I loath ladykillers.
Henry: Listen girl, no lady can resist the Henry Crawford! Just watch, I'll have you!
Fanny: Game's afoot, then, loverboy. But I would really advise you to go to London and get over me after a day or two, as I'm sure you eventually will.
So while engaged in Plan B, Henry stays at Mansfield, and Mary stays too, until Edmund is back. She's kind of also in love, and it looks like they'll get married after all. While Edmund doens't blame Fanny for refusing Henry just because she doesn't love him, he doesn't get why she's so sure she never will.
Edmund: He's a good man, and he has such a wonderful sister!
Fanny: I hate to tell you this Edmund, and I couldn't tell this to your father, but he's the reason Maria fell out of love with Mr. Rushworth. During the play, he broke her heart. And Julia's.
Edmund: Fanny, I think we were all sinning during the time of the play. Just call it a wicked evil play and grant us all amnesty, 'kay?
Fanny: He's still a lazy good-for-nothing.
Edmund: Now, but you could redeem him.
Fanny: But-but I'm not that capable a person!
And of course, Edmund just thinks she needs more self-esteem.
It's past time for the Crawfords to depart, which they do, and everyone eagerly waits for Fanny to miss Henry. But she doesn't get the chance because William comes back!
Then when he wants to take Fanny to Portsmouth, and since Plan B doesn't seem to be working, Sir Thomas hits upon Plan C: let Fanny visit her dirt-poor family for a couple of months, and she'll have more appreciation for a rich suitor.
Fanny LOVES this idea. See her family, spend time with her brother, get the hell away from having to read Mary Crawford's letters aloud so Edmund can listen and her Aunt Norris. Except Aunt Norris nearly goes with them, bailing out only when she realizes she'd have to pay her own way back home.
But home doesn't turn out to be quite the ideal she was expecting.
William: We're home!
Rude ugly maid: Ahhh, William! Your ship's left! You need to go after them NOW!
William: Oh no! Someone get me my uniform!
Fanny: Hello. Nice hallway.
Mrs. Price: Hi Fanny. This is actually the parlour, though. William! Get upstairs! You need to get changed and get to your ship!
William: *leaves*
Mrs. Price: This is your sister Susan, 14, and Betsey, 5. You want some tea, I assume. Betsey, go get some tea. For heaven's sake, who do you need to blow to get a fire around here? Susan, well?
Susan: I'll make one. I'm sorry, I was BUSY, okay?!
Two more kids: *wander through parlour arguing loudly about getting Fanny's trunk upstairs*
And two more kids after that: *chase each other even more loudly up and down the stairs, occasionally coming into the parlour to tip the table over and slam the doors*
Mr. Price: *doesn't do much besides read the newspaper, and occasionally look up and bellow "WILL! YOU! BE! QUIET!*
Betsey: THE MAID SAYS THERE'S NO TEA!
Fanny: Never mind the tea, is there any asprin?
When Mr. Price isn't reading the newspaper, he's drinking, and Mrs. Price spends most of her time favouring her younger children over her older ones. Having gotten away from Mansfield, all poor Fanny wants now is to back there.
Henry figures the way to Fanny's heart is through her brother, so he gets a lieutenant's commission, having an Admiral for an uncle, and is sure to deliver the news to Fanny himself.
Fanny: WOOOHOOOO! OMGThankyouthankyouthankyou and here I thought you were nothing but evil.
Henry: I am so happy that you are happy. You deserve to see your brother promoted because you're so wonderful.
Fanny: Stop talking like that, you sound like you want to marry me, and you know how people talk.
Henry: But Fanny, that's exactly what I want to do. I want to marry you! I love you!
Fanny: Oh please. Just because you got my brother promoted doesn't mean I'm going to fall for that one!
Henry: No, I'm serious. I'm madly in love with you.
Fanny: You madly in love with me? How gullible do you think I am? Get outta here! *flees*
Sir Thomas: *comes in* What's with her?
Henry: She's just overwhelmed that I got her brother promoted. I also told her I loved her and I think she's willing to marry me. Can I have her?
Sir Thomas: Sure.
When the next day Sir Thomas informs Fanny he has consented, Fanny has to believe he's serious. Not that it matters, because she's not going to marry him.
Sir Thomas doesn't get why. After all, he's a nice man, a rich man, and surely she owes it to him to marry whomever he wants her to as long as he isn't promising her to a drunkard. But when he can't get Fanny to say yay, he sighes and hopes she'll fall in love with him. Not that he's entirely passive in this Plan B. After dinner that day:
Servant: Miss Price! Your uncle wants you.
Mrs. Norris: What could he want to talk to HER about? No, surely you misheard and he wants to talk to me.
Servant: Nope. Her. C'mon, lady. *drags Fanny into a room where she's alone with Henry*
Henry: Fanny, you must believe now I love you. And I know you love me, you just don't realize it!
Fanny: I assume you usually don't win your girls over with a line like that!
Henry: You'll fall for me, you'll see.
Fanny: I doubt that. I loath ladykillers.
Henry: Listen girl, no lady can resist the Henry Crawford! Just watch, I'll have you!
Fanny: Game's afoot, then, loverboy. But I would really advise you to go to London and get over me after a day or two, as I'm sure you eventually will.
So while engaged in Plan B, Henry stays at Mansfield, and Mary stays too, until Edmund is back. She's kind of also in love, and it looks like they'll get married after all. While Edmund doens't blame Fanny for refusing Henry just because she doesn't love him, he doesn't get why she's so sure she never will.
Edmund: He's a good man, and he has such a wonderful sister!
Fanny: I hate to tell you this Edmund, and I couldn't tell this to your father, but he's the reason Maria fell out of love with Mr. Rushworth. During the play, he broke her heart. And Julia's.
Edmund: Fanny, I think we were all sinning during the time of the play. Just call it a wicked evil play and grant us all amnesty, 'kay?
Fanny: He's still a lazy good-for-nothing.
Edmund: Now, but you could redeem him.
Fanny: But-but I'm not that capable a person!
And of course, Edmund just thinks she needs more self-esteem.
It's past time for the Crawfords to depart, which they do, and everyone eagerly waits for Fanny to miss Henry. But she doesn't get the chance because William comes back!
Then when he wants to take Fanny to Portsmouth, and since Plan B doesn't seem to be working, Sir Thomas hits upon Plan C: let Fanny visit her dirt-poor family for a couple of months, and she'll have more appreciation for a rich suitor.
Fanny LOVES this idea. See her family, spend time with her brother, get the hell away from having to read Mary Crawford's letters aloud so Edmund can listen and her Aunt Norris. Except Aunt Norris nearly goes with them, bailing out only when she realizes she'd have to pay her own way back home.
But home doesn't turn out to be quite the ideal she was expecting.
William: We're home!
Rude ugly maid: Ahhh, William! Your ship's left! You need to go after them NOW!
William: Oh no! Someone get me my uniform!
Fanny: Hello. Nice hallway.
Mrs. Price: Hi Fanny. This is actually the parlour, though. William! Get upstairs! You need to get changed and get to your ship!
William: *leaves*
Mrs. Price: This is your sister Susan, 14, and Betsey, 5. You want some tea, I assume. Betsey, go get some tea. For heaven's sake, who do you need to blow to get a fire around here? Susan, well?
Susan: I'll make one. I'm sorry, I was BUSY, okay?!
Two more kids: *wander through parlour arguing loudly about getting Fanny's trunk upstairs*
And two more kids after that: *chase each other even more loudly up and down the stairs, occasionally coming into the parlour to tip the table over and slam the doors*
Mr. Price: *doesn't do much besides read the newspaper, and occasionally look up and bellow "WILL! YOU! BE! QUIET!*
Betsey: THE MAID SAYS THERE'S NO TEA!
Fanny: Never mind the tea, is there any asprin?
When Mr. Price isn't reading the newspaper, he's drinking, and Mrs. Price spends most of her time favouring her younger children over her older ones. Having gotten away from Mansfield, all poor Fanny wants now is to back there.