doc :(

[missingx_xyou]

i hate doctors. i hate the hospital. and i hate the ER. i had to go to the ER today. :( my mom picked me up from Aaron's to take me there. becuz this morning i woke up with this quarter size bump on my face by my right ear. and so we went to luthern. and then they took blood for some tests and took xrays on my chest. and erg. thats scary. and then

Comments

i love you my darling.

[simply_amazingx]

Jessica Sue ! I will ALWAYS want to talk to you !! ALWAYS !!! I know we don't talk a lot, but I always long to hear your voice. fkdaj. I can't do this without you. Don't give up on me now darling. Not when I need you most. And I am scared to death about all this shit going on with you. Scared more than I've ever been scared before. I can't lose you Jessica. Ever. I have had you too long to let go now. I don't know what is going on with you, or what is happening. Why you are going through all this bullshit, but I do know that everything is gunna turn out alright. I know that everything happens for a reason. And God has a plan for you. And I refuse to let him take you from me. Not now. Not ever. If I have to I will call Him up myself. I can't lose you Jessica. You don't have Lukemia. And you never will. Cause...no. You just don't. There is no way

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

i just cant handle all this shit nemore. i cant take it. i hate feeling like im dying inside more everyday. i hate feel like im alone. alwayz. i hate that i dont have a life. and that i never will. i hate that i hafta go to all these docs. and i hate the fact all this is happening to me. like im gods target for everything bad. if there is even a god. becuz if there was he wouldnt let all this happen to one lil girl a kid a teen all at once when she was already down. i hate being kicked when im down and thats my life. straight up. and i dont have lukemia. not now. not yet. but im just scared ill get it. with wat they said to me. and all these tests ive had to have taken and now i hafta take more. i dont need this. i cant take it. i dont wanna give up for the soul reason of you and mike. but i dont know how not too. im turning into who i once was. before. before i was better. before now. bak a few years. i know you know. but erg.

idont know how to feel or wat to do. i love you. im sorry. :'(

Re: i love you my darling.

[simply_amazingx]

i know hunny. i feel like im alone every moment of my day. cause really, i am. i dont have any friends..any REAL friends here. not like you. i always feel alone without you. cause you're the best friend i've got. and i can't stand not being with you. makes me feel like something is missing. fdajk. and i hate seeing you down, especially being kicked when you're down. it sucks. i know. i'm feeling the same way as we speak. i cry myself to sleep at night cause i feel so alone, so empty. and i can only imagine you doing the same thing. i miss you so much darling. so much. and i dont want you to turn into who you were. please. please dont. i cant deal with that hunny. i cant lose you you're my world. I NEED YOU !

and dont be sorry. you cant control how you feel. just know that i love you. always will. and im here for you. for ever.

best friends for always and after.

iloveyou.

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

i know you feel the same. but not like this. i know that for sure. becuz atleast you know you have a boyfriend who loves you and wont hurt you. thats more than what ive got. i have nothing. i have two friends. and yes i know they love me and will never hurt me. but to me thats not enough. becuz i dont have anyone holding me at night. i dont have anyone telling me they love me and taking the time to atleast talk to me. i dont have anyone who cna make me smile when im down. who i can call and run to when i need them the most. i dont have that nemore. not like before. not ever again. and i hate crying myself to sleep and wanting//wishing to just leave this world. i hate that. so bad. i hate searching for sumone to call when i need sumone so much as i did last night. and then they're either busy or just not answering. and erg. it makes me think. all over again. i have NOTHING at all. i have you and mike. thats it. and you cant be here. and he wasnt here. and when he is. he's busy as well. it makes me feel. alone. i wont kill myself. i

Re: i love you my darling.

[simply_amazingx]

you will never not have anyone. i am ALWAYS here. i promise. always. dlkfja. jesus. i love you so damn much jessica. you're everything to me. dfkaj. and i need you. more than ever. and im so sorry you are going through all of this right now. it sucks. i know it does. and i dont know how to help. i really wish i could. i really do. but i don know how. dfklasjflkajfa.

i feel like a failure of a friend. you need me most, and i cant be there.dfklasj.

i love you.

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

huni. i know ill alwayz have you. and ill alwayz have mike. but i need more. im not saying you two arent good enough becuz you are. as friends. as bestfriends. and as heros. but i need sumone to love me the way roni did. to hold me like roni did. to want me like roni did. and so on. you arent a failure as a friend becuz you try ur hardest to help me. but we all know you cant becuz nobody can. nobody can ever help me nemore. just know you try. thats all that matters. that means the world to me to know you care enough to try.

i love you kari lynn. im sorry this is puttin you down too. thats the last thing i want.

Re: i love you my darling.

[simply_amazingx]

dfkjla i wish i could be more than a best friend to you. lol. crazy as that sounds. i wish i could be all that you need. buuuut

° im a girl
° we aren't lezbooos
° you need a boy
° MY PENIS JUST ISNT ENOUGH !
° I LOVE YOU !

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

haha. i do too. ;) haha. i wish sooo bad that you could be all i need. soooooooooooooooo bad!

haha u are a silly head. hehe. but sumtimes ur penis is enough hehe

I LOOOOVE YOU!