doc :(

[missingx_xyou]

i hate doctors. i hate the hospital. and i hate the ER. i had to go to the ER today. :( my mom picked me up from Aaron's to take me there. becuz this morning i woke up with this quarter size bump on my face by my right ear. and so we went to luthern. and then they took blood for some tests and took xrays on my chest. and erg. thats scary. and then

Comments

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

i know you feel the same. but not like this. i know that for sure. becuz atleast you know you have a boyfriend who loves you and wont hurt you. thats more than what ive got. i have nothing. i have two friends. and yes i know they love me and will never hurt me. but to me thats not enough. becuz i dont have anyone holding me at night. i dont have anyone telling me they love me and taking the time to atleast talk to me. i dont have anyone who cna make me smile when im down. who i can call and run to when i need them the most. i dont have that nemore. not like before. not ever again. and i hate crying myself to sleep and wanting//wishing to just leave this world. i hate that. so bad. i hate searching for sumone to call when i need sumone so much as i did last night. and then they're either busy or just not answering. and erg. it makes me think. all over again. i have NOTHING at all. i have you and mike. thats it. and you cant be here. and he wasnt here. and when he is. he's busy as well. it makes me feel. alone. i wont kill myself. i dont need to do that. i keep myself from it everyday. but im scared that the day will come where i grab a knife again. and go to call sumone to help me. to talk to me. to care for me. one i can ease my pain by telling them my feelings. and then i have nobody to call. nobody to talk to. and then. what do i do? honostly. i know what'll happen. idk. lets just hope that it doesnt go that far and that ill alwayz have sumone even if its ur dad. that ill have sumone to talk too.

im glad your there for me when you can be. forever and for alwayz.

bestfriends for life!!! forever and for alwayz. to NEVER change.

iloveyouUUU!

Re: i love you my darling.

[simply_amazingx]

you will never not have anyone. i am ALWAYS here. i promise. always. dlkfja. jesus. i love you so damn much jessica. you're everything to me. dfkaj. and i need you. more than ever. and im so sorry you are going through all of this right now. it sucks. i know it does. and i dont know how to help. i really wish i could. i really do. but i don know how. dfklasjflkajfa.

i feel like a failure of a friend. you need me most, and i cant be there.dfklasj.

i love you.

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

huni. i know ill alwayz have you. and ill alwayz have mike. but i need more. im not saying you two arent good enough becuz you are. as friends. as bestfriends. and as heros. but i need sumone to love me the way roni did. to hold me like roni did. to want me like roni did. and so on. you arent a failure as a friend becuz you try ur hardest to help me. but we all know you cant becuz nobody can. nobody can ever help me nemore. just know you try. thats all that matters. that means the world to me to know you care enough to try.

i love you kari lynn. im sorry this is puttin you down too. thats the last thing i want.

Re: i love you my darling.

[simply_amazingx]

dfkjla i wish i could be more than a best friend to you. lol. crazy as that sounds. i wish i could be all that you need. buuuut

° im a girl
° we aren't lezbooos
° you need a boy
° MY PENIS JUST ISNT ENOUGH !
° I LOVE YOU !

Re: i love you my darling.

[missingx_xyou]

haha. i do too. ;) haha. i wish sooo bad that you could be all i need. soooooooooooooooo bad!

haha u are a silly head. hehe. but sumtimes ur penis is enough hehe

I LOOOOVE YOU!