Glee Fic: We Know By Now To Say Enough (3/?)
Title: We Know By Now To Say Enough (3/?)
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: The title/lyrics used are from the song “The Secret’s In The Telling” by Dashboard Confessional.
Summary: Missing moments between Puck and Quinn during season two.
Until the last resilient hope
Is frozen deep inside my bones
And this broken fate has claimed me
And my memories for its own…
From Quinn:
Subtle.
From Noah Puckerman:
Hey, it’s Billy Joel’s lyrics - can’t help it if they just fit your life so well.
From Quinn:
Well, at least I can say I won’t die young.
From Noah Puckerman:
Hey, you’re definitely not as bad as me - you may just die young yet.
From Noah Puckerman:
That definitely sounded better in my head. Sorry bout that.
From Quinn:
Haha, it’s fine. Thanks, I guess.
From Quinn:
Question - you really like Jesus?
From Noah Puckerman:
Yeah. JC's the number one Jew. Just because we don’t believe he’s the messiah doesn’t mean he wasn’t awesome.
From Quinn:
Interesting. I just thought all Jews hated him.
From Noah Puckerman:
Well, we have haven’t really talked about our religions, have we?
From Quinn:
I guess not.
From Noah Puckerman:
Not all Jews are money-grubbing tricksters, you know. Just like I know all Christians aren’t bigoted bible thumpers.
From Quinn:
Hah, touché.
From Noah Puckerman:
Hey!!! How did you do that?!?! Still can’t figure out the accent mark!!!
From Quinn:
See you tomorrow ;)
From Noah Puckerman:
I take that back!!! You’re going to live a very long life and die old because you’re bad!!!
From Noah Puckerman:
You got that?!
~**~
Puck knows that something is definitely, completely, and totally wrong when Quinn runs up to him in between classes before the lunch period.
“Did you hear?” she asks, out of breath, her grip on her books tight.
“What?” His mind is whirling, trying to figure out what the hell would get her so upset. Logically he knows they would never hear anything about Beth, but he can’t help but think holy shit, what if something’s wrong with Beth and what if they need our blood work or -
“Kurt’s dad - he had a heart attack yesterday,” she tells him, her eyes watering.
He feels instant relief for about a second until he comprehends what she’s telling him. Then his brain stops functioning. “Burt Hummel? No way.”
She nods. “I heard about it during gym,” she explains, shaking her head, her ponytail swinging. “He’s in a coma right now and -” she takes a deep breath, “They’re not sure when or if he’ll wake up,” she finishes in a whisper.
Puck clenches his teeth, his chest tightening. Here she is, standing in front of him and talking to him for the first time in public and he can’t do a damn thing to comfort her? What the fuck is wrong with him?
She brushes his arm in a comforting manner. It’s brief, but it moves him. “We’ll pray for him,” she states, her mouth set.
He nods. “Right.”
She gives him a small smile.
“Sucks. I…” he exhales, “He’s a really good guy,” he finishes flatly, feeling even worse.
Quinn nods. “I know. I’ll…see you in glee club.”
It takes them a few seconds to actually start walking away from each other.
~**~
Quinn’s phone is buzzing in her hand and Kurt’s words keep bouncing around in her head. How is he allowed to bash her religion but she’s not allowed to praise it?
She glances down at the number and isn’t very surprised to see it’s Puck’s.
Sighing, she opens her phone. “What.”
“You can’t take what Kurt says to heart - his dad’s in the hospital. He’s not worried about being…you know, thoughtful.”
The corner of her mouth tugs and she can’t smile right now because she’s finding herself agreeing with Kurt and his God’s kind of a jerk, isn’t he? statement.
Her maternity clothes are still in boxes in the back of her closet.
It suddenly occurs to her that neither of them has spoken in a minute or so.
“I’m going to temple with my nana later.”
She chews on her lip for a moment and checks her alarm clock by her bed. “Yeah. There’s a five o’clock mass I could make.”
“Cool.”
“Okay.” She hangs up. “Mom? I’m going to church. Do you want to come?” Quinn calls, going into her closet to see which dress she should wear.
“I would, but I just started cooking dinner!” her mother answers.
Quinn pulls out her new pea green dress she just bought over the weekend; it brings out her eyes really well. It won’t hurt to look nice, especially if she’ll bump into him.
And then she remembers that she can’t do that to him - it’s not fair (none of it is).
She pulls out a baby pink dress that’s comfortable and old.
~**~
Of course Rachel Berry is attending the same service as Puck is. He really didn’t want people knowing that he was going to service with his nana, dressing up nicely and everything. But then he remembers that he’s doing this for Kurt and Mr. Hummel, who is the nicest dad ever.
He looks ahead and hopes that he can go the whole service without her noticing, but of course fifteen minutes in, he accidentally glances in her general direction and she waves at him, a rather gentle expression on her face.
He nods in greeting and focuses on the rabbi.
He wonders how mass is going for Quinn and what that’s like. He wonders if maybe one day he can convince her to come to temple with him just to see what it’s like and maybe he can check out her church.
Thinking about that scares him though because that’s so (almost too) personal.
The service lasts for about an hour and as soon as it ends, Rachel is right next to Puck. How can such a small person move so fast?
He’s about to tell her to fuck off, but then he remembers that he’s in a holy place and Nana would definitely be pissed if he cursed.
“Fancy seeing you here, Noah,” she greets before zeroing in on Nana. “And you must be Noah’s grandmother, Mrs. Puckerman?”
She snorts. “I’m not the mother of that good-for-nothing loser. It’s Mrs. Speilberg,” Nana retorts. Puck smiles.
“Oh, excuse me, I’m sorry,” Rachel responds, stuttering a little.
Yep, he definitely loves Nana.
“I can make it home fine, Noah. I will see you before dinner?” Nana says, a spark in her eye, knowing exactly how much this would bother Puck.
Actually, he hates Nana.
When Nana leaves the synagogue, Rachel and Puck join the mass exodus outside.
“I’m really scared for Mr. Hummel,” Rachel admits, curling her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah,” Puck says, breathing in the warm September evening air.
He notices the church across the street has finished with their mass and he immediately starts searching for Quinn.
“There she is,” Rachel points out, nodding her head to the right.
He automatically follows her gaze to see Quinn walking out, fiddling with the cross around her neck.
“I know you guys pretend the other doesn’t exist in school and you ignore what happened last year, but I’m not stupid, okay. I know you still love her and I’m willing to stake my extensive collection of original Barbra LPs that she cares about you just as much.”
He clenches his jaw. “You can’t even begin to understand -”
“Hey.”
He whips his head to find Quinn standing in front of them, her hands over her stomach. He wonders if that’s a habit from last year that never went away or if it’s a nervous tic of sorts whenever she confronts people.
“I have to go - I’m meeting Finn,” Rachel announces to break the tense silence.
“If you speak a word of this…” Quinn starts, her voice hard.
“Mum’s the word,” Rachel finishes, briefly smiling at the two of them before walking away.
After Rachel’s a good distance away, Quinn asks, “I take it she ambushed you?”
“I managed to last fifteen minutes without her noticing.”
She nods.
“Did you drive here?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Well…I could walk you to your car.”
They slowly start walking side-by-side, so close that their arms are touching.
“How was m…your service?”
“Good. You know…it helped a little.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
It doesn’t take long until they reach her car. But when he’s about to say goodbye, she breaks down into tears. He automatically wraps his arms around her and exhales, closing his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” she mutters into his chest, gripping his shirt within her fists.
“Shhh, don’t worry.”
“No…” she pulls away, desperately trying to wipe her face dry even though fresh tears keep rolling down her cheeks. “I shouldn’t. God is all I need and I can’t keep relying on you like this,” she rants angrily.
“Quinn -” I don’t care if you do, I just want you, please, you could still be independent with me.
She tries to smile. “I appreciate what you’ve done, really. But please let me do this. Please.”
“Okay,” he whispers because there’s nothing else he can do.
She mouths a thank you before getting in her car and driving way. He tries to ignore how cliché this moment really is.
~**~
This is the closest they’ve ever sat in glee club - Mercedes is the only person between them and yet it still feels like Quinn’s halfway across the universe.
Maybe it’s because he’s already emotionally worn from Quinn and worrying about Mr. Hummel that he’s moved to tears when Kurt starts singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” His love for his dad is just so unbelievable to Puck - he can’t understand what it’s like to have a dad who’s not only there but actually cares.
And now he’s not here, which isn’t fair - one of them should have an amazing dad and Kurt deserves it with everything else going against him.
Glee club ends early because no one else is in the mood to sing. People are holding each other as they walk out and Quinn is carefully drying her face; they’re the only two people without anyone.
He knocks on Quinn’s door later and she answers quickly. She opens her mouth to say something, but he quickly blurts, “You might not need me, but I kind of need you right now. If that’s…okay, or…”
Her face crumples and he’s so sure she’s about to cry, but she composes herself and lets him in. “My mom’s running a charity event for the church. She’ll be back in an hour,” she informs him, leading him up the stairs to her room.
They take a seat on her bed and the silence throbs between them.
“I can’t get Kurt out of my head,” she whispers, inhaling shakily. “My father never -” she starts, but then stops when she sees a tear fall onto her comforter.
He tries to laugh, but it comes out rather choked. “Our dads suck.”
Her laugh sounds more like a sob. “Yeah.”
Tears are in his eyes again and he really doesn’t want to cry.
“You can, you know,” she says softly.
“Why can I when you can’t?” he asks roughly, unable to look at her.
“Whe-if you do, I will too.”
He looks into her eyes, always so mesmerizing and he thinks they could start a whole new religion.
Her fingers are on his cheek and he realizes that she’s catching tears.
He screws his eyes shut because he doesn’t want to see her looking at his face, which definitely looks like shit when he cries, probably. But then he feels her forehead touch his and he forgets appearances and expectations and just focuses on her because she is beyond anything and everything in his life.
~**~
They’re on opposite sides of the stage, but they glance at each other at the end of the song, wondering that even though they believe in different religions, will God still watch over Beth since they can’t? If God actually wanted Beth to exist and wanted Puck and Quinn to have this relationship that’s really too complex for them to deal with?
He can see her cross shine on her chest and thinks religion can be so constricting and all consuming.
And although he jokes about seeing God every time he hooks up with someone, the one true time he ever really saw and felt God was when Beth was in Quinn’s arms for the first time. He wants to tell Quinn this, but he’s not sure if she’d want to hear that.
It sucks that Judaism only has one day of confession because he’d totally tell his rabbi.
~**~
Quinn prays every night for Beth, hopes that God won’t punish Beth for her mother’s and father’s sins. She cries into her pillow on the one-year anniversary of the day she found out she was pregnant. She confesses to her priest one rainy Saturday morning that she can’t stop thinking about, caring, loving Noah Puckerman even though she wants to so much.
She can’t fix him because she’s already broken, putting herself back together.
Her phone vibrates in her back pocket as they’re stepping off the stage.
From Noah Puckerman:
I think we’ve seen God’s face.
She bites her bottom lip so hard that she wouldn’t be surprised if it split.
~**~
From Quinn:
Yeah, we did.
He nods and doesn’t seek her gaze again (he doesn’t think they can handle it).
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Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: The title/lyrics used are from the song “The Secret’s In The Telling” by Dashboard Confessional.
Summary: Missing moments between Puck and Quinn during season two.
Until the last resilient hope
Is frozen deep inside my bones
And this broken fate has claimed me
And my memories for its own…
From Quinn:
Subtle.
From Noah Puckerman:
Hey, it’s Billy Joel’s lyrics - can’t help it if they just fit your life so well.
From Quinn:
Well, at least I can say I won’t die young.
From Noah Puckerman:
Hey, you’re definitely not as bad as me - you may just die young yet.
From Noah Puckerman:
That definitely sounded better in my head. Sorry bout that.
From Quinn:
Haha, it’s fine. Thanks, I guess.
From Quinn:
Question - you really like Jesus?
From Noah Puckerman:
Yeah. JC's the number one Jew. Just because we don’t believe he’s the messiah doesn’t mean he wasn’t awesome.
From Quinn:
Interesting. I just thought all Jews hated him.
From Noah Puckerman:
Well, we have haven’t really talked about our religions, have we?
From Quinn:
I guess not.
From Noah Puckerman:
Not all Jews are money-grubbing tricksters, you know. Just like I know all Christians aren’t bigoted bible thumpers.
From Quinn:
Hah, touché.
From Noah Puckerman:
Hey!!! How did you do that?!?! Still can’t figure out the accent mark!!!
From Quinn:
See you tomorrow ;)
From Noah Puckerman:
I take that back!!! You’re going to live a very long life and die old because you’re bad!!!
From Noah Puckerman:
You got that?!
~**~
Puck knows that something is definitely, completely, and totally wrong when Quinn runs up to him in between classes before the lunch period.
“Did you hear?” she asks, out of breath, her grip on her books tight.
“What?” His mind is whirling, trying to figure out what the hell would get her so upset. Logically he knows they would never hear anything about Beth, but he can’t help but think holy shit, what if something’s wrong with Beth and what if they need our blood work or -
“Kurt’s dad - he had a heart attack yesterday,” she tells him, her eyes watering.
He feels instant relief for about a second until he comprehends what she’s telling him. Then his brain stops functioning. “Burt Hummel? No way.”
She nods. “I heard about it during gym,” she explains, shaking her head, her ponytail swinging. “He’s in a coma right now and -” she takes a deep breath, “They’re not sure when or if he’ll wake up,” she finishes in a whisper.
Puck clenches his teeth, his chest tightening. Here she is, standing in front of him and talking to him for the first time in public and he can’t do a damn thing to comfort her? What the fuck is wrong with him?
She brushes his arm in a comforting manner. It’s brief, but it moves him. “We’ll pray for him,” she states, her mouth set.
He nods. “Right.”
She gives him a small smile.
“Sucks. I…” he exhales, “He’s a really good guy,” he finishes flatly, feeling even worse.
Quinn nods. “I know. I’ll…see you in glee club.”
It takes them a few seconds to actually start walking away from each other.
~**~
Quinn’s phone is buzzing in her hand and Kurt’s words keep bouncing around in her head. How is he allowed to bash her religion but she’s not allowed to praise it?
She glances down at the number and isn’t very surprised to see it’s Puck’s.
Sighing, she opens her phone. “What.”
“You can’t take what Kurt says to heart - his dad’s in the hospital. He’s not worried about being…you know, thoughtful.”
The corner of her mouth tugs and she can’t smile right now because she’s finding herself agreeing with Kurt and his God’s kind of a jerk, isn’t he? statement.
Her maternity clothes are still in boxes in the back of her closet.
It suddenly occurs to her that neither of them has spoken in a minute or so.
“I’m going to temple with my nana later.”
She chews on her lip for a moment and checks her alarm clock by her bed. “Yeah. There’s a five o’clock mass I could make.”
“Cool.”
“Okay.” She hangs up. “Mom? I’m going to church. Do you want to come?” Quinn calls, going into her closet to see which dress she should wear.
“I would, but I just started cooking dinner!” her mother answers.
Quinn pulls out her new pea green dress she just bought over the weekend; it brings out her eyes really well. It won’t hurt to look nice, especially if she’ll bump into him.
And then she remembers that she can’t do that to him - it’s not fair (none of it is).
She pulls out a baby pink dress that’s comfortable and old.
~**~
Of course Rachel Berry is attending the same service as Puck is. He really didn’t want people knowing that he was going to service with his nana, dressing up nicely and everything. But then he remembers that he’s doing this for Kurt and Mr. Hummel, who is the nicest dad ever.
He looks ahead and hopes that he can go the whole service without her noticing, but of course fifteen minutes in, he accidentally glances in her general direction and she waves at him, a rather gentle expression on her face.
He nods in greeting and focuses on the rabbi.
He wonders how mass is going for Quinn and what that’s like. He wonders if maybe one day he can convince her to come to temple with him just to see what it’s like and maybe he can check out her church.
Thinking about that scares him though because that’s so (almost too) personal.
The service lasts for about an hour and as soon as it ends, Rachel is right next to Puck. How can such a small person move so fast?
He’s about to tell her to fuck off, but then he remembers that he’s in a holy place and Nana would definitely be pissed if he cursed.
“Fancy seeing you here, Noah,” she greets before zeroing in on Nana. “And you must be Noah’s grandmother, Mrs. Puckerman?”
She snorts. “I’m not the mother of that good-for-nothing loser. It’s Mrs. Speilberg,” Nana retorts. Puck smiles.
“Oh, excuse me, I’m sorry,” Rachel responds, stuttering a little.
Yep, he definitely loves Nana.
“I can make it home fine, Noah. I will see you before dinner?” Nana says, a spark in her eye, knowing exactly how much this would bother Puck.
Actually, he hates Nana.
When Nana leaves the synagogue, Rachel and Puck join the mass exodus outside.
“I’m really scared for Mr. Hummel,” Rachel admits, curling her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah,” Puck says, breathing in the warm September evening air.
He notices the church across the street has finished with their mass and he immediately starts searching for Quinn.
“There she is,” Rachel points out, nodding her head to the right.
He automatically follows her gaze to see Quinn walking out, fiddling with the cross around her neck.
“I know you guys pretend the other doesn’t exist in school and you ignore what happened last year, but I’m not stupid, okay. I know you still love her and I’m willing to stake my extensive collection of original Barbra LPs that she cares about you just as much.”
He clenches his jaw. “You can’t even begin to understand -”
“Hey.”
He whips his head to find Quinn standing in front of them, her hands over her stomach. He wonders if that’s a habit from last year that never went away or if it’s a nervous tic of sorts whenever she confronts people.
“I have to go - I’m meeting Finn,” Rachel announces to break the tense silence.
“If you speak a word of this…” Quinn starts, her voice hard.
“Mum’s the word,” Rachel finishes, briefly smiling at the two of them before walking away.
After Rachel’s a good distance away, Quinn asks, “I take it she ambushed you?”
“I managed to last fifteen minutes without her noticing.”
She nods.
“Did you drive here?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Well…I could walk you to your car.”
They slowly start walking side-by-side, so close that their arms are touching.
“How was m…your service?”
“Good. You know…it helped a little.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
It doesn’t take long until they reach her car. But when he’s about to say goodbye, she breaks down into tears. He automatically wraps his arms around her and exhales, closing his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” she mutters into his chest, gripping his shirt within her fists.
“Shhh, don’t worry.”
“No…” she pulls away, desperately trying to wipe her face dry even though fresh tears keep rolling down her cheeks. “I shouldn’t. God is all I need and I can’t keep relying on you like this,” she rants angrily.
“Quinn -” I don’t care if you do, I just want you, please, you could still be independent with me.
She tries to smile. “I appreciate what you’ve done, really. But please let me do this. Please.”
“Okay,” he whispers because there’s nothing else he can do.
She mouths a thank you before getting in her car and driving way. He tries to ignore how cliché this moment really is.
~**~
This is the closest they’ve ever sat in glee club - Mercedes is the only person between them and yet it still feels like Quinn’s halfway across the universe.
Maybe it’s because he’s already emotionally worn from Quinn and worrying about Mr. Hummel that he’s moved to tears when Kurt starts singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” His love for his dad is just so unbelievable to Puck - he can’t understand what it’s like to have a dad who’s not only there but actually cares.
And now he’s not here, which isn’t fair - one of them should have an amazing dad and Kurt deserves it with everything else going against him.
Glee club ends early because no one else is in the mood to sing. People are holding each other as they walk out and Quinn is carefully drying her face; they’re the only two people without anyone.
He knocks on Quinn’s door later and she answers quickly. She opens her mouth to say something, but he quickly blurts, “You might not need me, but I kind of need you right now. If that’s…okay, or…”
Her face crumples and he’s so sure she’s about to cry, but she composes herself and lets him in. “My mom’s running a charity event for the church. She’ll be back in an hour,” she informs him, leading him up the stairs to her room.
They take a seat on her bed and the silence throbs between them.
“I can’t get Kurt out of my head,” she whispers, inhaling shakily. “My father never -” she starts, but then stops when she sees a tear fall onto her comforter.
He tries to laugh, but it comes out rather choked. “Our dads suck.”
Her laugh sounds more like a sob. “Yeah.”
Tears are in his eyes again and he really doesn’t want to cry.
“You can, you know,” she says softly.
“Why can I when you can’t?” he asks roughly, unable to look at her.
“Whe-if you do, I will too.”
He looks into her eyes, always so mesmerizing and he thinks they could start a whole new religion.
Her fingers are on his cheek and he realizes that she’s catching tears.
He screws his eyes shut because he doesn’t want to see her looking at his face, which definitely looks like shit when he cries, probably. But then he feels her forehead touch his and he forgets appearances and expectations and just focuses on her because she is beyond anything and everything in his life.
~**~
They’re on opposite sides of the stage, but they glance at each other at the end of the song, wondering that even though they believe in different religions, will God still watch over Beth since they can’t? If God actually wanted Beth to exist and wanted Puck and Quinn to have this relationship that’s really too complex for them to deal with?
He can see her cross shine on her chest and thinks religion can be so constricting and all consuming.
And although he jokes about seeing God every time he hooks up with someone, the one true time he ever really saw and felt God was when Beth was in Quinn’s arms for the first time. He wants to tell Quinn this, but he’s not sure if she’d want to hear that.
It sucks that Judaism only has one day of confession because he’d totally tell his rabbi.
~**~
Quinn prays every night for Beth, hopes that God won’t punish Beth for her mother’s and father’s sins. She cries into her pillow on the one-year anniversary of the day she found out she was pregnant. She confesses to her priest one rainy Saturday morning that she can’t stop thinking about, caring, loving Noah Puckerman even though she wants to so much.
She can’t fix him because she’s already broken, putting herself back together.
Her phone vibrates in her back pocket as they’re stepping off the stage.
From Noah Puckerman:
I think we’ve seen God’s face.
She bites her bottom lip so hard that she wouldn’t be surprised if it split.
~**~
From Quinn:
Yeah, we did.
He nods and doesn’t seek her gaze again (he doesn’t think they can handle it).
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