i shit you not
At the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall on Thursday, a bird shat on my head. You know what that means.
BIRD FLU'D.
[Is it called Asian or Avian bird flu, anyway? Racial scapegoating or redundancy?] Anyhow, folks here keeps chuckling at my hysteria and saying that it's good luck in gambling circles, but I know better ! So, as my days are now doubtless numbered, I've been buying out the whole damn city. I've got to stop buying things. I'VE GOT TO STOP BUYING THINGS. But it's all so purty..NO! MUST STOP. Must keep money hidden in a vault somewhere in Russia with a lock that requires two keys to simultaneously open it, with one tied around the neck of an ornery mountain goat high in the Himalayas and the other buried in a 50 sq ft vat of slugs*. This is basically the only way. Le sigh. Le swoon. Taipei fashion is so much better than American fashion, and blah blah blah clotheswhorecakes...
You know what, everything about Taiwan IS JUST BETTER, so basically, just stop EVEN trying, U.S. !!!111one!! Sheeeit.
There is also too much food here. Much to my greedy-piggy dismay, it seems my eyes are really much bigger than my stomach, and now that I think about, I usually didn't eat a lot in the States [despite my constant food obsessing, though this may have much to do with abnormal mealtimes and aversion to narsty dorm food], and since it's tres rude to not finish everything on one's plate at a meal, I'm slowly perishing in a smothering avalanche of foodstuffs. And stuffs and stuffs and more stuffs...
Plus, it is always always piping hot food, and instead of cold refreshments, they drink a lot of tea and hot soup [wtf?! tropical weather?!!?!?!] , but I'm not used to it yet, so no matter how much soup and tea I drink, it feels like my thirst is never really quenched, and also I eat ten times as slow as everyone else because my stupid tender American mouth can't handle the constant inferno of azn cuisine, so basically, just stop EVEN trying, Elaineaslkdsljdladf !!!
*Courtesy of Aubrey's imagination, via CERTAIN UNDIVULGABLE CELEBRITY-CENTRIC DOCUMENTS.
BIRD FLU'D.
[Is it called Asian or Avian bird flu, anyway? Racial scapegoating or redundancy?] Anyhow, folks here keeps chuckling at my hysteria and saying that it's good luck in gambling circles, but I know better ! So, as my days are now doubtless numbered, I've been buying out the whole damn city. I've got to stop buying things. I'VE GOT TO STOP BUYING THINGS. But it's all so purty..NO! MUST STOP. Must keep money hidden in a vault somewhere in Russia with a lock that requires two keys to simultaneously open it, with one tied around the neck of an ornery mountain goat high in the Himalayas and the other buried in a 50 sq ft vat of slugs*. This is basically the only way. Le sigh. Le swoon. Taipei fashion is so much better than American fashion, and blah blah blah clotheswhorecakes...
You know what, everything about Taiwan IS JUST BETTER, so basically, just stop EVEN trying, U.S. !!!111one!! Sheeeit.
There is also too much food here. Much to my greedy-piggy dismay, it seems my eyes are really much bigger than my stomach, and now that I think about, I usually didn't eat a lot in the States [despite my constant food obsessing, though this may have much to do with abnormal mealtimes and aversion to narsty dorm food], and since it's tres rude to not finish everything on one's plate at a meal, I'm slowly perishing in a smothering avalanche of foodstuffs. And stuffs and stuffs and more stuffs...
Plus, it is always always piping hot food, and instead of cold refreshments, they drink a lot of tea and hot soup [wtf?! tropical weather?!!?!?!] , but I'm not used to it yet, so no matter how much soup and tea I drink, it feels like my thirst is never really quenched, and also I eat ten times as slow as everyone else because my stupid tender American mouth can't handle the constant inferno of azn cuisine, so basically, just stop EVEN trying, Elaineaslkdsljdladf !!!
*Courtesy of Aubrey's imagination, via CERTAIN UNDIVULGABLE CELEBRITY-CENTRIC DOCUMENTS.