I'm terrible, I know
So...I know I've been neglecting the hell out of my journal. Our trip to Nigeria was bad. So bad that I couldn't think of a reasonable "I'm back" entry to write that didn't rehash all the shittacular shitty shit that happened. Essentially, I've been avoiding my LJ because I didn't want to write it.
*Sigh*
I think I'll settle for a quick recap of the highlights (lowlights?):
-My brothers, my dad and I all missed our first flight out of Houston to Orlando because of my mother forcing us to bring the shit she couldn't bring with her when she left the week previous. We were busy weighing suitcases and shifting things around and still ended up paying $400 in excess luggage/weight fees--and did I mention we still missed that flight?.
-We managed to get another flight into Orlando and were rebooked on another Virgin flight from Orlando to London. We were bunted off that flight because a Virgin official assumed our bags were on the wrong flight without viewing our updated travel itinerary.
-We spent two days the Hyatt Regency inside the Orlando airport.
-We were rebooked by Continental airlines for a flight from Orlando to New Jersey. From there would would fly to Paris, France, and from there to Lagos, Nigeria.
The plane from Jersey to Paris was covered in ice, so we spent 3 hours waiting in the queue of other airlines to be de-iced.
-We barely made it to Paris in time to make our flight to Lagos--and only because the Air France personnel bumped us to the front of the security check line when they saw how close our departure time was.
Unfortunately, the baggage handlers did not have the same amount of goodwill because they assumed we would not make the Lagos flight and did not even bother to load our baggage into the plane.
-Because we had to wait for our bags, we were forced to stay in a shitty Lagos hotel. It was on Air France's dime, but the people running it basically didn't give a shit about us because they had a contract with the airlines.
At one point, we came back from the U.S. embassy to find the hotel personnel sleeping in our fucking suite. I wish I were joking.
-My little brother's American passport expired prior to our trip so we had to go to the US Embassy in Lagos to renew it or else he wouldn't be able to return home with us. The trip was a waste because all we were given was paperwork.
-My brothers and dad went to the airport to pick up our bags, but the hotel shuttle driver stranded them and ran off to do taxi fares (making side money), so my dad had to spend his own money for three vans to take all our bags back to the hotel.
-Crazy family shit happens for two whole weeks...
-My brothers and father return to Lagos the day we are leave Nigeria to get my younger brother's passport. They still give him the run around, saying that it will take 2-3 weeks. After several hours, they make a stink and get a temporary passport that is only valid for one week.
-Meanwhile, my sister and I are forced to deal with our crazy mother, who is notorious for missing her flights to and from Nigeria, as she is attempting to pack about 6 or 7 bags with Nigerian foods to take back to the US with us. All these foods need to be processed/plucked from branches and stuffed into freezer bags--this is a process that normally takes a days worth of work, but my mom and her family members are trying to accomplish this within the 4 hour window we have before we need to leave.
-My sister and I decided that this food, that we will not even eat as we are both returning to school immediately after the trip, is not missing our flight to Lagos. We know since many families are returning to the U.S. after spending Christmas in Nigeria, it will be damn near impossible to find another flight to Lagos.
-We call up my uncle and his driver and beg them to swing by our house and get us to the fucking airport. My mom insists that we not leave her behind.
-My sister and I take our travel documents, bags and tickets and leave her behind.
-We just barely make our flight, thanks to my uncle and his status as an Eze. Somehow, my mom also manages to make the flight. She is so late, that her seat is given away, but she manages to find another.
-We arrive in Lagos and wait for 5 hours for my brothers and dad to finish up at the embassy and join us at the Lagos airport.
-Once we are finally ready to board our flight from Lagos to London, we are told that the British government no longer allows entry to those carrying the older version of US resident alien cards (green cards), which my father has. He is the only one of the 6 of us who doesn't have an American passport (all us kids are US born and bred, my mom became a citizen more than a decade ago).
-Since we booked our flight through Continental airlines, AND they inspected all of our travel documents (including my dad's) before allowing us to leaving Houston, we call them and ask them to rebook my dad's flight. And they agree. Unfortunately, Nigeria's cell phone network is so shitty that we keep getting cut off and having to buy new phone cards.
-We give up on maintaining a connection with Continental, and my dad uses his credit card to buy a $2100 plane ticket for a flight that same night out of Lagos and into Germany--apparently, they have no problem accepting the old green cards.
-Turns out, the guy who booked my dad's flight only booked it to get his commission because the flight he was given a ticket for was full. My father and 7 others are assed out. They raise a stink and the airline agrees to put them up in a hotel. GUESS WHICH HOTEL IT IS...
-My dad, suspecting what is about to happen, starts telling the other stranded passengers on the ride over about how terrible this particular hotel is. Their collective response? HELL NAW! A short mutiny amongst the passengers leads to them being taken to another hotel.
-My mother and all my siblings leave Nigeria that night without my dad.
-We arrive back in Houston, happy to be home. Only to find that our house has been robbed. The only things stolen were my brothers' video game systems (Playstation 3, Wii, Rockband, controllers, etc). Both my older brother and mom had left cash in their rooms and it was undisturbed.
-As we are looking to make sure nothing else was taken, we keep getting automated calls identified as being from an inmate in the Harris County Sheriff's office. Convinced it's a scam, we ignore the calls.
-Slowly, we realize that no one has seen our cousin Francois for several days. He is our cousin from France who has been living with us for three years now. As he is 19, my parents decided to leave him at the house alone while we were on vacation (with family members checking in on him, obvs).
-Thoroughly unsettled by his phone going straight to voicemail and the moldy dishes in the sink, we start speculating about the source of the calls from the Sheriff's office.
-I do a quick check of the public arrest records, and sure enough, my cousin is shown as having been arrested four days before we returned.
-We answer the next call from the Sheriff's office. It turns out that my cousin knew the boy who stole my brothers' video game stuff, went to his house and beat the living shit out of him. The boy's mom called the police who arrested my cousin.
-We bail him out the next day. My dad returns from his own adventure that same day.
-Less than a week later, another of our family members gets arrested. This time by the motherfucking FEDS--that's all I can say about that.
We were all appropriately shocked. No one in my family has ever been arrested before, and here we have two arrests of family members in as many weeks.
Phew. This was longer than I intended it to be, but as you can see, a lot of shit happened. I have also resolved never to travel anywhere, either overseas or domestically, with either of my parents.
*Sigh*
I think I'll settle for a quick recap of the highlights (lowlights?):
-My brothers, my dad and I all missed our first flight out of Houston to Orlando because of my mother forcing us to bring the shit she couldn't bring with her when she left the week previous. We were busy weighing suitcases and shifting things around and still ended up paying $400 in excess luggage/weight fees--and did I mention we still missed that flight?.
-We managed to get another flight into Orlando and were rebooked on another Virgin flight from Orlando to London. We were bunted off that flight because a Virgin official assumed our bags were on the wrong flight without viewing our updated travel itinerary.
-We spent two days the Hyatt Regency inside the Orlando airport.
-We were rebooked by Continental airlines for a flight from Orlando to New Jersey. From there would would fly to Paris, France, and from there to Lagos, Nigeria.
The plane from Jersey to Paris was covered in ice, so we spent 3 hours waiting in the queue of other airlines to be de-iced.
-We barely made it to Paris in time to make our flight to Lagos--and only because the Air France personnel bumped us to the front of the security check line when they saw how close our departure time was.
Unfortunately, the baggage handlers did not have the same amount of goodwill because they assumed we would not make the Lagos flight and did not even bother to load our baggage into the plane.
-Because we had to wait for our bags, we were forced to stay in a shitty Lagos hotel. It was on Air France's dime, but the people running it basically didn't give a shit about us because they had a contract with the airlines.
At one point, we came back from the U.S. embassy to find the hotel personnel sleeping in our fucking suite. I wish I were joking.
-My little brother's American passport expired prior to our trip so we had to go to the US Embassy in Lagos to renew it or else he wouldn't be able to return home with us. The trip was a waste because all we were given was paperwork.
-My brothers and dad went to the airport to pick up our bags, but the hotel shuttle driver stranded them and ran off to do taxi fares (making side money), so my dad had to spend his own money for three vans to take all our bags back to the hotel.
-Crazy family shit happens for two whole weeks...
-My brothers and father return to Lagos the day we are leave Nigeria to get my younger brother's passport. They still give him the run around, saying that it will take 2-3 weeks. After several hours, they make a stink and get a temporary passport that is only valid for one week.
-Meanwhile, my sister and I are forced to deal with our crazy mother, who is notorious for missing her flights to and from Nigeria, as she is attempting to pack about 6 or 7 bags with Nigerian foods to take back to the US with us. All these foods need to be processed/plucked from branches and stuffed into freezer bags--this is a process that normally takes a days worth of work, but my mom and her family members are trying to accomplish this within the 4 hour window we have before we need to leave.
-My sister and I decided that this food, that we will not even eat as we are both returning to school immediately after the trip, is not missing our flight to Lagos. We know since many families are returning to the U.S. after spending Christmas in Nigeria, it will be damn near impossible to find another flight to Lagos.
-We call up my uncle and his driver and beg them to swing by our house and get us to the fucking airport. My mom insists that we not leave her behind.
-My sister and I take our travel documents, bags and tickets and leave her behind.
-We just barely make our flight, thanks to my uncle and his status as an Eze. Somehow, my mom also manages to make the flight. She is so late, that her seat is given away, but she manages to find another.
-We arrive in Lagos and wait for 5 hours for my brothers and dad to finish up at the embassy and join us at the Lagos airport.
-Once we are finally ready to board our flight from Lagos to London, we are told that the British government no longer allows entry to those carrying the older version of US resident alien cards (green cards), which my father has. He is the only one of the 6 of us who doesn't have an American passport (all us kids are US born and bred, my mom became a citizen more than a decade ago).
-Since we booked our flight through Continental airlines, AND they inspected all of our travel documents (including my dad's) before allowing us to leaving Houston, we call them and ask them to rebook my dad's flight. And they agree. Unfortunately, Nigeria's cell phone network is so shitty that we keep getting cut off and having to buy new phone cards.
-We give up on maintaining a connection with Continental, and my dad uses his credit card to buy a $2100 plane ticket for a flight that same night out of Lagos and into Germany--apparently, they have no problem accepting the old green cards.
-Turns out, the guy who booked my dad's flight only booked it to get his commission because the flight he was given a ticket for was full. My father and 7 others are assed out. They raise a stink and the airline agrees to put them up in a hotel. GUESS WHICH HOTEL IT IS...
-My dad, suspecting what is about to happen, starts telling the other stranded passengers on the ride over about how terrible this particular hotel is. Their collective response? HELL NAW! A short mutiny amongst the passengers leads to them being taken to another hotel.
-My mother and all my siblings leave Nigeria that night without my dad.
-We arrive back in Houston, happy to be home. Only to find that our house has been robbed. The only things stolen were my brothers' video game systems (Playstation 3, Wii, Rockband, controllers, etc). Both my older brother and mom had left cash in their rooms and it was undisturbed.
-As we are looking to make sure nothing else was taken, we keep getting automated calls identified as being from an inmate in the Harris County Sheriff's office. Convinced it's a scam, we ignore the calls.
-Slowly, we realize that no one has seen our cousin Francois for several days. He is our cousin from France who has been living with us for three years now. As he is 19, my parents decided to leave him at the house alone while we were on vacation (with family members checking in on him, obvs).
-Thoroughly unsettled by his phone going straight to voicemail and the moldy dishes in the sink, we start speculating about the source of the calls from the Sheriff's office.
-I do a quick check of the public arrest records, and sure enough, my cousin is shown as having been arrested four days before we returned.
-We answer the next call from the Sheriff's office. It turns out that my cousin knew the boy who stole my brothers' video game stuff, went to his house and beat the living shit out of him. The boy's mom called the police who arrested my cousin.
-We bail him out the next day. My dad returns from his own adventure that same day.
-Less than a week later, another of our family members gets arrested. This time by the motherfucking FEDS--that's all I can say about that.
We were all appropriately shocked. No one in my family has ever been arrested before, and here we have two arrests of family members in as many weeks.
Phew. This was longer than I intended it to be, but as you can see, a lot of shit happened. I have also resolved never to travel anywhere, either overseas or domestically, with either of my parents.