your such a puzzle...//HECK YA
k well i havent been home which seems like its been 4eva.i just came back from the lake. i had such a blast with jill=) u made my weekendddd with all ur advice and help i swear its a soap opera there and drama drama drama. everything went fine until i seen ryan. i mean were friends...hes just makes me mad.ive decided to not get my hopes up on "BIG" cuz hes just a puzzle. i like him soo sooo soo much deep down. but i knoe hes just my sweet best friend. but he hurts me way too much. we were washin dishes my last nite out and we were soo flirtin with each other and we were walkin with each other and then we sat on the bridge together. then out of nowhere he says. "im gonna go see sarah now...is that alrite with you?" i was like excuse me. he said hes going to see sarah, sumone he liked before and now im pretty sure he still likes her but anyways hes like im bored and i wanna see her. i just got completely shut down. my heart sank. i said i dont care go and have fun. as he walks away i look at jill and she goes chasing him and yells at him. i cant believe sumone who doesnt hang out with this person for like all summer and is with like their friends the whole weekend and just hangin out just left like that. HOW INSANLEY UNDESCRIBABLE RUDE HE WAS. i just cant figure him out? like hes bored? how can u be bored? how can u say u like me? and then leave me like that? everyone says he likes me wen obviously he doesnt. if he did then wouldnt he be with me on our last nite before school? ugh this makes me angry cuz he just doesnt know how i feel. maybe i should tell him? i never even told him how i felt wen he left me and went to robyn. now he left me again and went to sarah. and so then he leaves for the whole nite and around 3 hours later i see him walkin up the stairs with sarah. i was shaking i was soo fustrated. and he walked over the bridge and said hi to everyone but when he passes me he dont say a thing and just walks by? like wat the hell. he did that exact thing with robyn. oh man oh man. it was that week all over again. ppl were saying i was all over ryan this weekend wen hello i hate his guts and rite now im just tryin to be close to him to be friends i mean i havent seen the guy since we broke up..of course im gonna be talkin to him and close with him. i never hugged him or nething either so how can ppl say im not over him, hes an asshole and a waste of my time. maybe jason thinks this and thats why he went to sarah. but why would he do that all of a sudden wen he noticed me and ryan werent togetehr for those hours i was with him and doesnt he notice im always happy wen i see him and smiling and laughin.ugh im just fustrated. well im gonnna work on mai site...buh bye