Im Back.
miss me?
i dont even kno wut to write.. it's been fuckin foreva since muh last entry.. i used to love writin muh personal shit in hea, but now i feel like it's an invasion of fuckin privacy. damn!
ne ways.. i can't sleep. i haven't been able to sleep for like.. a week? maybe more. dunno. i cant remember the days & im completely oblivious to everything thats goin on around me.
i also haven't gone out for 4 days now. the only time i leave is for cigarettes. muh social life died & for the life of me, i cant figure out why..
i have a boyfriend. this is our 4th time togetha. we cant seem to make shit work, but yet we keep tryin. but each day he's driftin away & im the only one holdin on. i'd love to let go, but thats just too hard & i've grown too weak.
friday i seen him. at first, he was completely loveable & wouldn't let me go. 30 minutes later, he decided to be an ass & ignore me. so i sat there.. at his house & drank vodka & listened to music while he goofed around wit the boys.
after awhile, i was fed up. not too mention i wus feelin quite good from the alcohol. next thing u kno, im screamin off the top of muh lungs at him. accusin him of cheatin, sayin he's gunna dump me, tellin him i hate him & wished him dead..
did i mention im an angry drunk?
yah.. i am. im also a violent one too. i tried chokin him a couple times.. i snapped.
he started throwin shit around. tellin ray to take me home bc he didnt wanna see me ne more. i started cryin & screamin. & 15 minutes later, me & him were fine & makin out. i love our relationship tho. it's such a love hate one. but at the same time, it drives me nuts.
and the fact that he's on muh mind 24/7 is wut pisses me off more than ne thing.
but honestly, i miss muh friends. i had one bestfriend, but i dont know wut happened to us.. and i've also realized how much i miss muh old friends. like.. the ones from middle skool. i wish i could go back to that time. everything wus much simpler. i miss simplicity.
and that's about all that im gunna write. it's prolly muh longest entry ne ways.
enjoy.
i dont even kno wut to write.. it's been fuckin foreva since muh last entry.. i used to love writin muh personal shit in hea, but now i feel like it's an invasion of fuckin privacy. damn!
ne ways.. i can't sleep. i haven't been able to sleep for like.. a week? maybe more. dunno. i cant remember the days & im completely oblivious to everything thats goin on around me.
i also haven't gone out for 4 days now. the only time i leave is for cigarettes. muh social life died & for the life of me, i cant figure out why..
i have a boyfriend. this is our 4th time togetha. we cant seem to make shit work, but yet we keep tryin. but each day he's driftin away & im the only one holdin on. i'd love to let go, but thats just too hard & i've grown too weak.
friday i seen him. at first, he was completely loveable & wouldn't let me go. 30 minutes later, he decided to be an ass & ignore me. so i sat there.. at his house & drank vodka & listened to music while he goofed around wit the boys.
after awhile, i was fed up. not too mention i wus feelin quite good from the alcohol. next thing u kno, im screamin off the top of muh lungs at him. accusin him of cheatin, sayin he's gunna dump me, tellin him i hate him & wished him dead..
did i mention im an angry drunk?
yah.. i am. im also a violent one too. i tried chokin him a couple times.. i snapped.
he started throwin shit around. tellin ray to take me home bc he didnt wanna see me ne more. i started cryin & screamin. & 15 minutes later, me & him were fine & makin out. i love our relationship tho. it's such a love hate one. but at the same time, it drives me nuts.
and the fact that he's on muh mind 24/7 is wut pisses me off more than ne thing.
but honestly, i miss muh friends. i had one bestfriend, but i dont know wut happened to us.. and i've also realized how much i miss muh old friends. like.. the ones from middle skool. i wish i could go back to that time. everything wus much simpler. i miss simplicity.
and that's about all that im gunna write. it's prolly muh longest entry ne ways.
enjoy.