Comments | miss_sanguine: Soaring -- Miss

miss_sanguine

Soaring -- Miss_Sanguine

Jan 12, 2011 19:25

Author: Miss_Sanguine
Title: Soaring
Pairing: Aang x Katara
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Bryke and Nick own Avatar.
Author's Notes: My attempt at the emotion "Love". My friend likeacliche is helping me get better at expressing emotion in my work. She pointed out that sometimes my work sounds like a textbook instead of a story--at least in terms of emotion other than ( Read more... )

atla: other characters

Comments 3

likeacliche January 13 2011, 19:11:37 UTC

Well, technicallyyyyy when I said "textbook" I meant more than the emotion thing. But it's not always like that. AND I AM NOT EXPLAINING MYSELF THERE CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Anyway I seriously love this :'D It could still be better but you captured the innocence and sweetness I was hoping for. Do you seriously hate the song now? XD It's such a good one D:

And keep working on the ending. "the two were off" seems hollow. A bit more description to it perhaps?

THIS ONE HAS SURPASSED MY LOVE FOR "DARK SHADOWS". =D =D =D

miss_sanguine January 14 2011, 21:01:59 UTC

Well, in terms of a textbook, I find my only real problem to be emotion--mainly emotions like love and happiness. Don't know why. As for other reasons you might think it looks like a textbook, that could be because some works are out of the character's head too much OR too much unneeded detail is involved--which I don't think is the case. It's an opinion in that view. I mean, look at Lord of the Rings. WAY TOO MUCH DETAIL and yet millions of people love it. xD ( ... )

likeacliche January 15 2011, 00:50:41 UTC

Well, like I said I don't know how to explain it. It's not the description though. Sometimes a lot of description is nice. lets you get a picture in your head better. But anyway I AM NOT GOING TO ARGUE OR "DEBATE" AS YOU SAY ABOUT IT XD.

And yes that is a much better ending :3