Heading to Halifax
It is 3:24 and I am about to leave for Halifax for four days. I am going because my brother is having a massive surgery to repair the damage done to his bowel during a ressectional surgery (the kind I had) done last summer. I am so scared for him. It is really dangerous, but he is so strong, I pray to whatever is out there that everything will turn out okay.
I guess this whole experience, me being sick, seeing him be sick, noticing that life is more than just the everyday motions. There is a bigger meaning out there for all of us, and part of the whole journey is finding it. So whether I am met to be an english prof, a writer, a journalist, or a friggin porn star, it doesn't matter. Its about taking what I have and turning it into what I want and love.
It's not wrong to dream, but I think dreams make reality hurt more. I dream to be the best person that I am capable of, to do the best with my life that I can, and to find happiness. Those are feasible dreams. To dream to do an exact thing at an exact time in an exact place are the types of dreams that destroy people.
I listen to my friends, most of which are very wise, and I see their views on life and it amazes me. It amazes me how each individual sees the world in such a different light, but in the end we all want the same thing, to feel proud of ourselves. What is pride? The definition prospers solely in your own reflective image. I think we each deserve to feel proud of ourselves, whether or not others may.
So next time you feel alone, feel like crying, feel like punching someone, hurting something, smiling, know that it is all a part of the journey to self fulfillment and there are no such things as mistakes.