Fic: Dear Grace (one-shot)
Title: Dear Grace
Author: miss_peg
Characters: Grace Van Pelt
Summary: Grace reads a letter from beyond the grave.
Prompt: From mentalistprompt table I: 10."I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you." - Groucho Marx.
Notes: A small piece of writing inspired by an old story I was reading back, in which a character was writing an essay in detention.
Spoilers: End of season three spoilers, though a little AU.
Dear Grace,
Do you remember the night I took you down by the Sacramento river? We set up camp on the bank and decided to sleep out under the stars. You built a fire because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get that darned wood to light, I still don’t know how you managed it. I want you to remember the moment I held your hand and guided our fingers across the constellations, the moment I kissed you and the moment I got down on one knee and asked you to be my wife.
I know you’re probably hurting right now and there’s nothing I can say or do to make you understand the position I was in. I can’t deny or pretend that I was not who you now know me to be. Red John asked me to do it. He asked me to pretend to love you in order to get close to the case. He wanted me to pray on your naivety, not that I think you’re naïve, not after knowing you. After loving you.
I did love you Grace, with all of my heart.
I used to dream of meeting a girl someday, a beautiful, tall, wonderful woman who cared as much about the job as I did. She was going to be caring and sensitive and everything you are. We were going to get married in a church in some small town, surrounded by our family and friends. When the time was right, we were going to have two beautiful children who looked just like their mother. I wish I could say that we were always meant to be together, that fate brought us together for a reason. But I can’t. I was never meant for you and you were never meant to end up with someone as poisonous as me.
It pains me to say it because everything you think might have been an act wasn’t. I came to you with a task and I left your arms loving you more than I could have possibly imagined. You are the angel that kept me grounded and without you keeping me sane, I would probably have lost the will to live a long time ago. Loving you made Red John’s task worthwhile, not because of the information I gave to him, but because had you not been part of it, I wouldn’t have wanted to get up in the morning.
I can’t be sure if I’m dead right now, or just sitting in a police cell waiting to be sent to jail. I hope it’s the latter because I don’t deserve death. I deserve to suffer for my crimes, least not the crime of hurting you.
I want to tell you that Red John forced me into being the person I became inside, that he was the reason I was a monster. I want to blame everything on him and deep down I know that if I’d defied him, I would have been slaughtered. I can’t lay blame though. I said yes when he asked me. I promised to do his bidding because I wanted to lavish in the riches he bestowed upon me. My eyes were bigger than my wallet and I’m not ashamed to say that. I am ashamed that I allowed it to get as far as it did. I shouldn’t have allowed you to get so close.
I asked you to be my wife before I couldn’t imagine my life any different. Since the day I was brought into yours, you have been my, everything. I hope you know that I will always love you. Even if you hate me right now, you still mean the world to me and always will.
All My Love
Craig
Author: miss_peg
Characters: Grace Van Pelt
Summary: Grace reads a letter from beyond the grave.
Prompt: From mentalistprompt table I: 10."I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you." - Groucho Marx.
Notes: A small piece of writing inspired by an old story I was reading back, in which a character was writing an essay in detention.
Spoilers: End of season three spoilers, though a little AU.
Dear Grace,
Do you remember the night I took you down by the Sacramento river? We set up camp on the bank and decided to sleep out under the stars. You built a fire because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get that darned wood to light, I still don’t know how you managed it. I want you to remember the moment I held your hand and guided our fingers across the constellations, the moment I kissed you and the moment I got down on one knee and asked you to be my wife.
I know you’re probably hurting right now and there’s nothing I can say or do to make you understand the position I was in. I can’t deny or pretend that I was not who you now know me to be. Red John asked me to do it. He asked me to pretend to love you in order to get close to the case. He wanted me to pray on your naivety, not that I think you’re naïve, not after knowing you. After loving you.
I did love you Grace, with all of my heart.
I used to dream of meeting a girl someday, a beautiful, tall, wonderful woman who cared as much about the job as I did. She was going to be caring and sensitive and everything you are. We were going to get married in a church in some small town, surrounded by our family and friends. When the time was right, we were going to have two beautiful children who looked just like their mother. I wish I could say that we were always meant to be together, that fate brought us together for a reason. But I can’t. I was never meant for you and you were never meant to end up with someone as poisonous as me.
It pains me to say it because everything you think might have been an act wasn’t. I came to you with a task and I left your arms loving you more than I could have possibly imagined. You are the angel that kept me grounded and without you keeping me sane, I would probably have lost the will to live a long time ago. Loving you made Red John’s task worthwhile, not because of the information I gave to him, but because had you not been part of it, I wouldn’t have wanted to get up in the morning.
I can’t be sure if I’m dead right now, or just sitting in a police cell waiting to be sent to jail. I hope it’s the latter because I don’t deserve death. I deserve to suffer for my crimes, least not the crime of hurting you.
I want to tell you that Red John forced me into being the person I became inside, that he was the reason I was a monster. I want to blame everything on him and deep down I know that if I’d defied him, I would have been slaughtered. I can’t lay blame though. I said yes when he asked me. I promised to do his bidding because I wanted to lavish in the riches he bestowed upon me. My eyes were bigger than my wallet and I’m not ashamed to say that. I am ashamed that I allowed it to get as far as it did. I shouldn’t have allowed you to get so close.
I asked you to be my wife before I couldn’t imagine my life any different. Since the day I was brought into yours, you have been my, everything. I hope you know that I will always love you. Even if you hate me right now, you still mean the world to me and always will.
All My Love
Craig