(no subject)
Yeah, you know something bad's happening when I post these days.
I'm fucking panick-attacking here. This is bad. this is AWFUL.
Just checked my PITT email and noticed something saying so far my academics were below standard and I had to increase them if I wanted to continue financial aide. So I'm like... no. No that can't be true. I could NOT have failed any of my classes. I checked my grades and A, B and... F.
What. The. Fuck.
I didn't check my grades before, but that was because I was absolutely certain that I'd done all right in every class. This is just... oh my god. No.
I know that can't be true. It CANNOT be possible. Okay, so I know I did poorly on the pop-quizzes but 1) we only had 4 of them. 2) I probably didn't do that bad on one of the 3 exams. and 3) the professor himself told me I did well on the other 2. And that was it. And I almost always contributed when I was in class. So... what's the fucking deal.
and WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME
I'm always having problems. Always something goes wrong. Why can't I just be allowed to go through a school year without having to panic because something went wrong? So, here I am again. I emailed the professor, but what if he won't be able to change the grade. What if it's true that somehow in the uholy mother of fuck I somehow failed. I can't believe that would ever happen. At worst I could see myself getting a C or a C- or something, but not just outright fail! But... what if what if what if ARRRUGURGH I just want to know. I can't sleep. Fuck my life, and that's all I can say. I'm calling him first thing tomorrow... if I can get any sleep at all.
At the very lowest, absolute scum-sucking worst and nothing can be done, I'll still have enough credits to graduate and I'll just need to get good grades in all my other classes, but DAMN. I just couldn't live with that. It's not right... What if they won't acknowledge that I didn't fail. And always there in the back of my head is the worry that maybe I did fail and I just thought I'd been doing all right. What if those quizzes were worth more than I thought? We never got them back in class, so I've got absolutely no idea at all.
Fuck. And that's a fuck right from the very bottom of my heart. I need to know everything's going to be okay. I just want everything to be okay.
I'm fucking panick-attacking here. This is bad. this is AWFUL.
Just checked my PITT email and noticed something saying so far my academics were below standard and I had to increase them if I wanted to continue financial aide. So I'm like... no. No that can't be true. I could NOT have failed any of my classes. I checked my grades and A, B and... F.
What. The. Fuck.
I didn't check my grades before, but that was because I was absolutely certain that I'd done all right in every class. This is just... oh my god. No.
I know that can't be true. It CANNOT be possible. Okay, so I know I did poorly on the pop-quizzes but 1) we only had 4 of them. 2) I probably didn't do that bad on one of the 3 exams. and 3) the professor himself told me I did well on the other 2. And that was it. And I almost always contributed when I was in class. So... what's the fucking deal.
and WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME
I'm always having problems. Always something goes wrong. Why can't I just be allowed to go through a school year without having to panic because something went wrong? So, here I am again. I emailed the professor, but what if he won't be able to change the grade. What if it's true that somehow in the uholy mother of fuck I somehow failed. I can't believe that would ever happen. At worst I could see myself getting a C or a C- or something, but not just outright fail! But... what if what if what if ARRRUGURGH I just want to know. I can't sleep. Fuck my life, and that's all I can say. I'm calling him first thing tomorrow... if I can get any sleep at all.
At the very lowest, absolute scum-sucking worst and nothing can be done, I'll still have enough credits to graduate and I'll just need to get good grades in all my other classes, but DAMN. I just couldn't live with that. It's not right... What if they won't acknowledge that I didn't fail. And always there in the back of my head is the worry that maybe I did fail and I just thought I'd been doing all right. What if those quizzes were worth more than I thought? We never got them back in class, so I've got absolutely no idea at all.
Fuck. And that's a fuck right from the very bottom of my heart. I need to know everything's going to be okay. I just want everything to be okay.