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[miss_like]

Operation: Move David And Anna To Birmingham proceeds. There is, however, one tiny small stumbling block in the road; Me. I am incapable of sorting my shit out. I am stressing about everything, and so far have failed to apply for the one job I looked at and went "yeah". I have frozen up. I really really want to move to Brum. It's a lovely city

Comments

[autumnpsyche]

I understand the fear; fear that it won't come together, and fear that it will and it won't be what you're hoping for.

This works for me, might not work for you (or you might already be thinking this way anyway, apols if so): While the potential disappointment of getting the move together and then it going wrong is scary, it's not as scary as the prospect of years of regret for not trying. Change may be scary, but not as scary as staying in a situation you don't like. So when it comes down to it, while fearing change has a genuine basis, it is not a helpful feeling. It's intended to protect you from possible (though unlikely) disappointment, but the 'preventative' is worse than the thing it prevents. I guess it comes down to really knowing in your heart that, even if this doesn't turn out to be everything you dream, it is still the right decision and so long as you do your best at it, you're doing the right thing. Sort of a thing.

*hopes to hell it didn't make it worse* I just find that for me, the best way to get past 'negative' feelings like this is to think about why I have them, what purpose are they supposed to serve. Do they actually fulfil that purpose, and if so do they bring about something even worse anyway? It starts the 'letting go' process for me.

*hopes to hell this isn't dead patronising (wasn't meant to be)*

Good luck! You can do it.

[miss_like]

Thanks :) That does help, definitely. I'm just a naturally quite pessimistic person, and I tend to worry, so even a little thing can be blown out of all proportion. Something this massive and lifechanging has me completely...argh, can't even think of a word big enough to express my difficulties! I feel like I'm at the bottom of a big hill, at the top of which is a shining and golden thing, but I have to push my way through an avalanche of fear and worry and stress to get there, and its all uphill. Which is stupid, really, because it's not that big of a deal. The only thing keeping me here is my job, and I can find another of those, and hopefully one which isn't going to impact negatively on my mental health like this one.

I really really *really* want to do this. I'm just so scared of falling.

[autumnpsyche]

I know what you mean. I'm currently having a huge wibble over just learning to snowboard - something like moving house really gets to me. I haven't tried to move cities since I went away to Uni, and then I was so desperate to get out of my parents house I barely noticed (was fairly numb as a person back then too) but I'd panic too if I tried it now.

The fact that you haven't given up despite difficulties is pretty cool though, and it can be done.

Just to add that you could also try out Medicine-related departments of Universities. It uses the same kind of skills and your knowledge of medical terminology would give you an edge as usually people going for Uni jobs wouldn't know the terminology in advance. Did an uber quick search and there seem to be a couple below, though I didn't look at details:
https://atsv7.wcn.co.uk/search_engine/jobs.cgi

[autumnpsyche]

Ooops broke link. I think you have to get there from here: http://www.hr.bham.ac.uk/jobs/

[miss_like]

Good idea, I'll give it a look :)

And thanks ^^