(no subject)
May 6th. That's the day of my last final. I have 2 and half weeks left. I really don't want to go back to Mendota. I need to get a job and I'm sure it will be shitty. I always become nocturnal and depressed in the summer because I feel like I do nothing worthwhile. I have a feeling this summer will be worse because I'll miss everyone from school. I think not having Guerrilla and Guerrilla people is going to be the worst.
Tonight is the Coffeehouse show and my parents are coming. Of course I didn't think about the fact that I play a closeted lesbian in one of the skits until AFTER I invited me dad. One of the lines is "I wish I could talk to someone but who could possibly understand this. Them? My parents? My dad would freak out if he knew" ...Yeah I'm definitely going to have to change that line. I just... how have I not come out to my dad yet? How am I this horrendous of a procrastinator?
Last night instead of going home and sleeping because I'm getting sick, I helped one of my friends with a project for one of his classes. we made this twisted house made out of pictures of people screaming. And dripped candle wax all over this action figure inside. It was so creepy. Then of course when I got home at like 1:30 I got really sad that he's graduating because I have I don't know... abandonment issues probably. Then I had these ridiculous and tense dreams about my parents coming to the show and I kept yelling at them and pushing them away when we were getting ready. Then I had a dream where I'm driving a car and the park doesn't work and I keep almost crashing because the car won't stop. God, my dreams are so mundanely frightening and obviously symbolic of my life.
*M*
Tonight is the Coffeehouse show and my parents are coming. Of course I didn't think about the fact that I play a closeted lesbian in one of the skits until AFTER I invited me dad. One of the lines is "I wish I could talk to someone but who could possibly understand this. Them? My parents? My dad would freak out if he knew" ...Yeah I'm definitely going to have to change that line. I just... how have I not come out to my dad yet? How am I this horrendous of a procrastinator?
Last night instead of going home and sleeping because I'm getting sick, I helped one of my friends with a project for one of his classes. we made this twisted house made out of pictures of people screaming. And dripped candle wax all over this action figure inside. It was so creepy. Then of course when I got home at like 1:30 I got really sad that he's graduating because I have I don't know... abandonment issues probably. Then I had these ridiculous and tense dreams about my parents coming to the show and I kept yelling at them and pushing them away when we were getting ready. Then I had a dream where I'm driving a car and the park doesn't work and I keep almost crashing because the car won't stop. God, my dreams are so mundanely frightening and obviously symbolic of my life.
*M*