Memo to my fellow co-workers:
This is simply to impart the following information since it seems to have gotten lost somewhere along the way. Please refer to this regularly as it has not changed since my date-of-hire:
I am not particularly interested in how well or how often you were laid over the course of the July 4th holiday weekend.
It should also be noted that I'm not the least bit interested in how much beer you had to drink during the holiday weekend.
By the same token, how much marijuana you may or may not have smoked is a piece of knowledge I could live without.
I do not, have not, and will not like the employee of the month voting process. Ever. Employee of the Month is a title that should be EARNED, not turned into a P. R. War over. If you want my vote, give me a damn good reason to make it happen. Otherwise, you must settle for my regular act of simply tossing a random name into the hat. If you happen to have pissed me off during the previous month, your name will not be going in by my hand.
Since my date-of-hire, I have performed meat prep 17 times. I am familiar with the process of how to cut, rinse, dry, and wrap the meats and/or cheeses. Please refrain from asking me if I "know how to prep [insert name of meat or cheese here]" as it will not be received in a welcoming fashion. Should I have a question, I will ask it when, if, and how it should fucking please me.
I am not a fan of (c)Rap music. This has been a cut and dry fact for at least 25 years. If this is your preferred kind of music, I can respect that even if I don't agree with it. However, if you decide to play this particular type of... music in the backroom (hereafter referred to as "Mish-land") at high decibels, then please do understand that I will become a rabid bitch with very sharp teeth. I suggest a compromise of some kind.
Please have the decency to clean up any mess that you have made in Mish-land... ESPECIALLY if I have just finished my round of cleaning not five minutes beforehand. I am not your mother or your babysitter, so cleaning up your shit is not my job. I am paid to clean up after the customers, not you. Period.
Do not come into Mish-land and empty out any of the three sinks. If you do, then do NOT refill them either. The sinks will be refilled in a reasonable amount of time once their condition is taken note of. Hot water is a relative thing depending on who's hands are dipping into the sinks. Since I wear dishwashing gloves, I run the water on a comparable temperature level to the 9th level of Hell. Should you burn yourself in the sinks, you were warned beforehand so I am not to blame.
If you need me to do something for you, you only have to ask once. Don't assume that I will say yes. I have seen incidents where you were sitting on your fuzzy ass and I don't appreciate doing YOUR job so that you can get paid to pick your nose. A reminder is acceptable if it seems that I may have forgotten but ONLY if I have previously agreed to the request. If you want clean dishes while I am in the middle of the steam table changeover, you damn well know where the f'n sinks are.
I am not an idiot or a moron. If you treat me as one, I will react accordingly if subtly. Do not make the mistake of thinking that I am being submissive simply because I don't retaliate right away. Treat me as anything but a living, breathing, sentient creature and you will find yourself on your own. I won't hinder you, but unless the man who signs my paychecks says otherwise, I don't have to lift a fucking finger for you either.
Trying to tell me how to do a particular aspect of my job that I already know forward and backward has a two-fold effect. The first effect is that it slows down my work performance. This is because my brain is now multitasking between the work at hand and restraining my sudden urge to bash you over the head with a pasta pot. In order to keep Mish at optimum performance, do not attempt to "improve" my work by telling me how "you do it" at any time.
I use my breaks for smoking unless I'm working longer than a six hour shift. Keep this in mind at all times. Like most nicotine addicts, I do get irritable if I don't get the chance to indulge my addiction. Unlike most nicotine addicts, I don't sneak outside to get a "free" smoke break. The only time you can expect I might have indulged is if I happen to be taking out trash.
If I have the generosity to appear the slightest bit interested in something you have to say, please do me the kind favor of getting to the point of it in a prompt and timely fashion so I can go back to whatever it was I was doing beforehand. If I don't seem to be interested in what you're saying, then do NOT follow me from workstation to workstation as you continue speaking.
That is all. Thank you.
The Queen of Mish-land.
I am not particularly interested in how well or how often you were laid over the course of the July 4th holiday weekend.
It should also be noted that I'm not the least bit interested in how much beer you had to drink during the holiday weekend.
By the same token, how much marijuana you may or may not have smoked is a piece of knowledge I could live without.
I do not, have not, and will not like the employee of the month voting process. Ever. Employee of the Month is a title that should be EARNED, not turned into a P. R. War over. If you want my vote, give me a damn good reason to make it happen. Otherwise, you must settle for my regular act of simply tossing a random name into the hat. If you happen to have pissed me off during the previous month, your name will not be going in by my hand.
Since my date-of-hire, I have performed meat prep 17 times. I am familiar with the process of how to cut, rinse, dry, and wrap the meats and/or cheeses. Please refrain from asking me if I "know how to prep [insert name of meat or cheese here]" as it will not be received in a welcoming fashion. Should I have a question, I will ask it when, if, and how it should fucking please me.
I am not a fan of (c)Rap music. This has been a cut and dry fact for at least 25 years. If this is your preferred kind of music, I can respect that even if I don't agree with it. However, if you decide to play this particular type of... music in the backroom (hereafter referred to as "Mish-land") at high decibels, then please do understand that I will become a rabid bitch with very sharp teeth. I suggest a compromise of some kind.
Please have the decency to clean up any mess that you have made in Mish-land... ESPECIALLY if I have just finished my round of cleaning not five minutes beforehand. I am not your mother or your babysitter, so cleaning up your shit is not my job. I am paid to clean up after the customers, not you. Period.
Do not come into Mish-land and empty out any of the three sinks. If you do, then do NOT refill them either. The sinks will be refilled in a reasonable amount of time once their condition is taken note of. Hot water is a relative thing depending on who's hands are dipping into the sinks. Since I wear dishwashing gloves, I run the water on a comparable temperature level to the 9th level of Hell. Should you burn yourself in the sinks, you were warned beforehand so I am not to blame.
If you need me to do something for you, you only have to ask once. Don't assume that I will say yes. I have seen incidents where you were sitting on your fuzzy ass and I don't appreciate doing YOUR job so that you can get paid to pick your nose. A reminder is acceptable if it seems that I may have forgotten but ONLY if I have previously agreed to the request. If you want clean dishes while I am in the middle of the steam table changeover, you damn well know where the f'n sinks are.
I am not an idiot or a moron. If you treat me as one, I will react accordingly if subtly. Do not make the mistake of thinking that I am being submissive simply because I don't retaliate right away. Treat me as anything but a living, breathing, sentient creature and you will find yourself on your own. I won't hinder you, but unless the man who signs my paychecks says otherwise, I don't have to lift a fucking finger for you either.
Trying to tell me how to do a particular aspect of my job that I already know forward and backward has a two-fold effect. The first effect is that it slows down my work performance. This is because my brain is now multitasking between the work at hand and restraining my sudden urge to bash you over the head with a pasta pot. In order to keep Mish at optimum performance, do not attempt to "improve" my work by telling me how "you do it" at any time.
I use my breaks for smoking unless I'm working longer than a six hour shift. Keep this in mind at all times. Like most nicotine addicts, I do get irritable if I don't get the chance to indulge my addiction. Unlike most nicotine addicts, I don't sneak outside to get a "free" smoke break. The only time you can expect I might have indulged is if I happen to be taking out trash.
If I have the generosity to appear the slightest bit interested in something you have to say, please do me the kind favor of getting to the point of it in a prompt and timely fashion so I can go back to whatever it was I was doing beforehand. If I don't seem to be interested in what you're saying, then do NOT follow me from workstation to workstation as you continue speaking.
That is all. Thank you.
The Queen of Mish-land.