.today has been so up and down.
.first of all, i rode my bike to work. and it was fabulous. i love it. pictures will be coming soon for sure. they are a purple Peugoet. around 20 years old or so. with a generator light and everything. haven't figured out what gender [if any] they are, so i'll stick to gender neutral pronouns for now :) oh, and if anyone has ideas for a name, i'll bake you something sweet if i end up using it. yay incentives!
.i was in a really good mood in the morning. everything was going well. i should preface this little story by saying, everyone at work knows that I'm trans. and because most of them are older, and can't wrap their head around the use of 'they' as a pronoun, i said i would prefer male pronouns. Alright, good, everyone was amazing about it. This last week. I noticed that the guy i tend to work with a lot, keeps using female pronouns. Now he was using male ones late last week, but has since stopped.
Jokingly, I said, "I'm going to have to pinch you everytime you call me 'she'". We have a very sarcastic relationship, so I wasn't worried about him taking offense. He says, "Well, you still have a female voice." And I just turned to him and said that wasn't cool. He then states, "And you have feminine mannerisms, and still look female."
It fucken hurt. I tried not to let it bother me, but after about 10 minutes of silence and just doing my work, I ended up speaking to one of my managers about it. I just needed to talk to someone. I mean, everyone knows, I KNOW I don't look male whatsoever, and that really hurts to have it pointed out. Not to mention I get that from people who don't know about my gender identity. It's way worse when someone knows and chooses not to respect it. Fuck. Anyways. I talked to my manager, telling her I would handle it, I just needed a sounding board. She said that if he doesn't listen to me, to come talk to her.
Now I have a hard time standing up to people. Unless it has to do with a cause or one of my friends. If its anything to do with me, I usually just shut up and be passive. I'm really glad I didn't this time. I walked up to him and said we needed to talk. I explained that I know we have a joking kind of friendship, but this is not something I can joke about. I told him what I previously stated, that I know I don't look male yet, and that bothers me SOOOOOOOOO much. But regardless of what I look like, I need him to respect who I am.
He apologized. Told me he felt really bad and thought it would just roll off my back. I said that most things do, but this is too close to home. And its not something to joke about. Basically, he understood where I was coming from and definitely knows not to say things like that again.
And then, everything was okay. For about an hour. I was folding some bakery towels with one of the new girls, and was talking to her about how to categorize them. One of the ladies that has been with the company a long time was also using the same table. I am mentioning this for the point of the story, three of the ladies I work with are from India, including the one I was helping fold things. Another lady from the back comes up to her, and speaks to her in Punjabi. The lady who was sharing the table, in the most condescending voice I have every heard, says "Now girls, we should be speaking English." And I looked at her, and said, "Uhh why?" She said that because we are in an English speaking workplace, that its rude for these ladies to be speaking to each other in Punjabi. Whhaaaaat?! I told her, that I didn't mind whatsoever. The ladies didn't say anything, just said maybe I would like to learn some [totally!]. When they leave, the lady who said this, leans over and said its rude, and that she doesn't mind if they talk Punjabi in the lunch room or outside. I told her that was ridiculous. Its part of their culture, we're in Canada, and they have every right to speak it. She kept trying to argue a bit about it, and then just left. Keep in mind, this lady is sweet as hell, and hearing her say things like this totally threw me off. Woah.
Again tho, I would of never done that. Generally I would just say 'What?' and when they explained, I wouldn't take it any further. Does T make you more assertive? What the fuck. Anyways. Her and I are fine. Just pretend like it didn't happen. But I really hope my night is a little less emotion filled. Jeez. But hey, i did get my new birth certificate! Woooo! Has anyone gotten a new one from Alberta? Holy crap. There are about 25 different security features. One of which makes it about 7 x 5 inches so you can't put it in your wallet. Weird.
.i was in a really good mood in the morning. everything was going well. i should preface this little story by saying, everyone at work knows that I'm trans. and because most of them are older, and can't wrap their head around the use of 'they' as a pronoun, i said i would prefer male pronouns. Alright, good, everyone was amazing about it. This last week. I noticed that the guy i tend to work with a lot, keeps using female pronouns. Now he was using male ones late last week, but has since stopped.
Jokingly, I said, "I'm going to have to pinch you everytime you call me 'she'". We have a very sarcastic relationship, so I wasn't worried about him taking offense. He says, "Well, you still have a female voice." And I just turned to him and said that wasn't cool. He then states, "And you have feminine mannerisms, and still look female."
It fucken hurt. I tried not to let it bother me, but after about 10 minutes of silence and just doing my work, I ended up speaking to one of my managers about it. I just needed to talk to someone. I mean, everyone knows, I KNOW I don't look male whatsoever, and that really hurts to have it pointed out. Not to mention I get that from people who don't know about my gender identity. It's way worse when someone knows and chooses not to respect it. Fuck. Anyways. I talked to my manager, telling her I would handle it, I just needed a sounding board. She said that if he doesn't listen to me, to come talk to her.
Now I have a hard time standing up to people. Unless it has to do with a cause or one of my friends. If its anything to do with me, I usually just shut up and be passive. I'm really glad I didn't this time. I walked up to him and said we needed to talk. I explained that I know we have a joking kind of friendship, but this is not something I can joke about. I told him what I previously stated, that I know I don't look male yet, and that bothers me SOOOOOOOOO much. But regardless of what I look like, I need him to respect who I am.
He apologized. Told me he felt really bad and thought it would just roll off my back. I said that most things do, but this is too close to home. And its not something to joke about. Basically, he understood where I was coming from and definitely knows not to say things like that again.
And then, everything was okay. For about an hour. I was folding some bakery towels with one of the new girls, and was talking to her about how to categorize them. One of the ladies that has been with the company a long time was also using the same table. I am mentioning this for the point of the story, three of the ladies I work with are from India, including the one I was helping fold things. Another lady from the back comes up to her, and speaks to her in Punjabi. The lady who was sharing the table, in the most condescending voice I have every heard, says "Now girls, we should be speaking English." And I looked at her, and said, "Uhh why?" She said that because we are in an English speaking workplace, that its rude for these ladies to be speaking to each other in Punjabi. Whhaaaaat?! I told her, that I didn't mind whatsoever. The ladies didn't say anything, just said maybe I would like to learn some [totally!]. When they leave, the lady who said this, leans over and said its rude, and that she doesn't mind if they talk Punjabi in the lunch room or outside. I told her that was ridiculous. Its part of their culture, we're in Canada, and they have every right to speak it. She kept trying to argue a bit about it, and then just left. Keep in mind, this lady is sweet as hell, and hearing her say things like this totally threw me off. Woah.
Again tho, I would of never done that. Generally I would just say 'What?' and when they explained, I wouldn't take it any further. Does T make you more assertive? What the fuck. Anyways. Her and I are fine. Just pretend like it didn't happen. But I really hope my night is a little less emotion filled. Jeez. But hey, i did get my new birth certificate! Woooo! Has anyone gotten a new one from Alberta? Holy crap. There are about 25 different security features. One of which makes it about 7 x 5 inches so you can't put it in your wallet. Weird.